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‘The One with the Flashback’ Quotes

Friends: The One with the Flashback

306. The One with the Flashback

Aired October 31, 1996

After Janice wonders if the six friends have ever slept with eachother, they reminisce about three years earlier when some of the group almost got together.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Mr. Heckles, no. No one is making any noise up here.
Mr. Heckles: You're disturbing my oboe practice.
Phoebe: You don't play the oboe.
Mr. Heckles: I could play the oboe.
Phoebe: Then I'm gonna have to ask you to keep it down.

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Quote from Chandler

Ross: So how many more do you have tomorrow?
Chandler: Two. This photographer who seemed really dull and this actor guy who I'm not sure about. Because when he called and I answered the phone, "Chandler Bing", he said, "Whoa, short message!"

Quote from Phoebe

Janice: Janice has a question. Who of the six of you has slept with who of the six of you?
Phoebe: Wow, it's like a dirty math problem.

Quote from Joey

Ross: I'm sorry, the answer there would be none of us.
Janice: Come on. Over the years, none of you ever got drunk and stupid?
Joey: Well, that's really a different question.

Quote from Joey

Janice: I'm sorry. I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.
Joey: There was that one time Monica and Rachel got together.
Monica: What?
Rachel: Excuse me, there was no "time."
Joey: Okay, but let's say there was. How might that go?

Quote from Monica

Monica: I'll be back in just a minute. Phoebe, I'm sorry that I left lipstick marks on the phone.
Phoebe: You didn't leave lipstick marks on the phone.
Monica: Oh. Then it must have been you.
Phoebe: Bye-bye. That's why I moved out.

Quote from Phoebe

Ross: Hey, while we're on that when are you gonna tell my sister that you don't live here anymore?
Monica: I think on some level, she already knows.
Ross: Phoebe, she doesn't know you sneak out every night. She doesn't know that you sneak back every morning. And she doesn't know that you've been living at your grandmother's for a week now.
Phoebe: Okay, well, maybe not on those levels.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: I'm never gonna find a roommate. Ever.
Phoebe: Nobody good?
Chandler: Well, let's see. There was the guy with the ferrets. That's plural. The spitter. Oh, yes, and the guy who enjoyed my name so much he made a little noise every time he said it. "Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing. Bing!" "Great apartment, Chandler Bing. Bing!"

Quote from Joey

Joey: Don't you wanna ask me any questions?
Chandler: Sure. What's up?
Joey: Well, I'm an actor. I'm fairly neat. I got my own TV. Oh, and don't worry, I'm totally okay with the gay thing.
Chandler: What gay thing?
Joey: Just, you know, in general. The whole "people-being-gay" thing.

Quote from Monica

Chandler: Hey, Mon.
Monica: Wanna hear something that sucks?
Chandler: Do I ever.
Monica: Chris says they're closing the bar.
Chandler: No way.
Monica: Yeah, apparently they're turning it into some sort of coffee place.
Chandler: Just coffee? Where are we gonna hang out now?
Monica: You got me.

Quote from Chandler

Monica: Did you pick a roommate?
Chandler: You bet.
Monica: Is it the ltalian guy?
Chandler: Yeah, right.
Monica: He's so cute.
Chandler: Oh, yes. That's what I want. A roommate I can walk around with and be referred to as "the funny one."

Quote from Joey

Monica: Oh, my God. What the hell are you doing?
Joey: You said, "You wanna come in for some lemonade?"
Monica: So?
Joey: Ah. Were you just gonna give me lemonade?
Monica: Yeah-huh. Cover yourself up.
Joey: Oh, right. Sorry.
Monica: God, I don't believe this. Someone asks you in for lemonade and to you that means they want to have sex?
Joey: Usually, yeah. Well, not just lemonade. Iced tea, sometimes juice. Look, sorry. I just- I thought you liked me. I'm such a jerk.
Monica: It's okay. I suppose it could happen to anyone. Not anyone I know, but- By the way, I can still see it.

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: What are you talking about?
Phoebe: I'm sorry. I don't live here anymore. I didn't know how to tell you. But, you know, everybody else knows.
Monica: Everybody knows?
Phoebe: That was supposed to be a good thing. I forget why.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Monica, do you know I couldn't sleep for, like, a month because I got a dot of ink on one of the sofa cushions?
Monica: You could've just turned the cushion over.
Phoebe: I would have, except I had a big spaghetti stain on the other side.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: Okay, this is what I'm talking about. I need to live in a land where people can spill.
Monica: Well, you can spill. In the sink.
Phoebe: Oh, honey. It's not your fault, you know. This is who you are. And I love you. And I want us to be friends. And if I stay here, I don't see that happening.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: What?
Monica: I'm just sad.
Phoebe: No, you're not. You're wondering which cushion it is.

Quote from Joey

Chandler: So what are you watching?
Joey: Baywatch.
Chandler: What's it about?
Joey: Lifeguards.
Chandler: Well, it sounds kind of stup- Who's she?
Joey: Nicole Eggert. We like her.
Chandler: Wow. Look at them run.
Joey: They do that a lot.

Quote from Ross

Phoebe: What is wrong?
Ross: My marriage. I think my marriage is kind of over.
Phoebe: Oh, no. Why?
Ross: Because Carol's a lesbian. And I'm not one. And apparently it's not a mix-and-match situation.
Phoebe: Oh, my God. I don't believe it. Oh, you poor bunny.
Ross: I'm an idiot. I mean, I should have seen it. I mean, Carol and I would be out, and she'd see some beautiful woman and she'd be, "Ross, look at her." And I'd think, "God, my wife is cool."
Phoebe: Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?
Ross: Well, now I do!

Quote from Ross

Ross: Maybe this wouldn't have happened if I'd been more nurturing or I'd paid more attention or I had a uterus.

Quote from Joey

Monica: Honey, you okay?
Ross: My wife's a lesbian.
Joey: Cool.
Chandler: Ross, Joey. Joey, Ross.


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