Ross: Amy, l- I just- I just wanna-
Amy: What? What are you gonna do?
Ross: No more falafel for you!

Ross: Charlie, this is Rachel's sister Amy. Amy, this is Charlie.
Charlie: Hi. Nice to meet you.
Amy: Hi, hi. And you are?
Ross: Ross? I grew up on your block? We had Thanksgiving together last year? I had a baby with your sister?
Amy: No. I- Did I buy a falafel from you yesterday?
Ross: Yes. Yes, you did.

Chandler: Hello, this is Chandler Bing. Someone just dropped off a handwritten recommendation letter and- Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay. Thank you. Goodbye.
Monica: We're screwed, aren't we? You know what? Just tell me on the way to the bird store.
Chandler: They loved it.
Monica: What?
Chandler: They thought it was very smart of us to have a child write the recommendation letter.
Monica: They thought Joey was a child?
Chandler: She guessed 8, 9, based on his drawings.

Phoebe: Where are you going?
Mike: I'm going to go to the bathroom.
Phoebe: Well, I think you should wait.
Mike: Why?
Phoebe: Well, if you don't hold it in, you don't get all the nutrients.
Announcer: Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the scoreboard. Someone has a special question to ask.
Phoebe: Mike Hannigan, will you marry me?
Announcer: Get a load of this. She's proposing to him! Guess we know who wears the pants in that family.
Phoebe: Well, that's not very enlightened. Hey! Hey! Boo us? Boo you!

Chandler: I don't understand.
Joey: Some of the words a little too sophisticated for you?
Monica: It doesn't make any sense.
Joey: Well, of course it does. It's smart. I used a thesaurus.
Chandler: On every word?
Joey: Yep.
Monica: All right, what was this sentence originally?
Joey: Oh. "They are warm, nice people with big hearts."
Chandler: And that became, "They are humid, prepossessing Homo sapiens with full-sized aortic pumps."
Joey: Yeah. Yeah. And hey, I really mean it, dude.
Monica: All right, Joey, I don't think we can use this.
Joey: Why not?
Monica: Well, because you signed it: "Baby Kangaroo Tribbiani."

Joey: Hello? Yeah, this is Joey Tribbiani. Oh, hi. Well, I'm glad you liked my letter. No, my mommy and daddy aren't home right now. Okay, bye-bye. She was nice.

Monica: Why don't you stop worrying about sounding smart and just be yourself.
Chandler: You know what, you don't need a thesaurus. Just write from here. Your full-sized aortic pump.

Amy: You know? When I moved in here, I thought, "This is going to be so great. Just us sisters back together again like when we were kids." Except without that stupid Jill. Oh. Who has gotten fat, by the way.
Rachel: Seriously?
Amy: Mom said she gained, like, 15 pounds.
Rachel: Hips or thighs?
Amy: Ass and face.
Rachel: Oh, my God! I thought she was on Atkins.
Amy: She was. Carbs found her.

Rachel: You know, I'm thinking about letting Emma have her first cookie.
Joey: Her first cookie? She has cookies all the time.
Rachel: I've never given her a cookie. Have you?
Joey: No. No. And for the record, I've also never given her frosting from a can.

Monica: Hey, Rach, the adoption agency needs letters of recommendation and we wondered if you would write one for us?
Rachel: Of course. I would be honored.
Chandler: Thanks.
Monica: Thank you.
Joey: Ahem. I think there's been an oversight.
Chandler: Joe, we would have asked you. We just thought you wouldn't be interested.
Monica: Yeah, it's just that we don't think of you as really being so much with the words.
Joey: Wha-He-Wha-He-
Monica: Clearly, we were wrong.