TV Quotes

Ross: Amy, l- I just- I just wanna-
Amy: What? What are you gonna do?
Ross: No more falafel for you!

Ross: Charlie, this is Rachel's sister Amy. Amy, this is Charlie.
Charlie: Hi. Nice to meet you.
Amy: Hi, hi. And you are?
Ross: Ross? I grew up on your block? We had Thanksgiving together last year? I had a baby with your sister?
Amy: No. I- Did I buy a falafel from you yesterday?
Ross: Yes. Yes, you did.

Chandler: Hello, this is Chandler Bing. Someone just dropped off a handwritten recommendation letter and- Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay. Thank you. Goodbye.
Monica: We're screwed, aren't we? You know what? Just tell me on the way to the bird store.
Chandler: They loved it.
Monica: What?
Chandler: They thought it was very smart of us to have a child write the recommendation letter.
Monica: They thought Joey was a child?
Chandler: She guessed 8, 9, based on his drawings.

Phoebe: Where are you going?
Mike: I'm going to go to the bathroom.
Phoebe: Well, I think you should wait.
Mike: Why?
Phoebe: Well, if you don't hold it in, you don't get all the nutrients.
Announcer: Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the scoreboard. Someone has a special question to ask.
Phoebe: Mike Hannigan, will you marry me?
Announcer: Get a load of this. She's proposing to him! Guess we know who wears the pants in that family.
Phoebe: Well, that's not very enlightened. Hey! Hey! Boo us? Boo you!

Chandler: I don't understand.
Joey: Some of the words a little too sophisticated for you?
Monica: It doesn't make any sense.
Joey: Well, of course it does. It's smart. I used a thesaurus.
Chandler: On every word?
Joey: Yep.
Monica: All right, what was this sentence originally?
Joey: Oh. "They are warm, nice people with big hearts."
Chandler: And that became, "They are humid, prepossessing Homo sapiens with full-sized aortic pumps."
Joey: Yeah. Yeah. And hey, I really mean it, dude.
Monica: All right, Joey, I don't think we can use this.
Joey: Why not?
Monica: Well, because you signed it: "Baby Kangaroo Tribbiani."

Joey: Hello? Yeah, this is Joey Tribbiani. Oh, hi. Well, I'm glad you liked my letter. No, my mommy and daddy aren't home right now. Okay, bye-bye. She was nice.

Monica: Why don't you stop worrying about sounding smart and just be yourself.
Chandler: You know what, you don't need a thesaurus. Just write from here. Your full-sized aortic pump.

Rachel: You know, I'm thinking about letting Emma have her first cookie.
Joey: Her first cookie? She has cookies all the time.
Rachel: I've never given her a cookie. Have you?
Joey: No. No. And for the record, I've also never given her frosting from a can.

Monica: Hey, Rach, the adoption agency needs letters of recommendation and we wondered if you would write one for us?
Rachel: Of course. I would be honored.
Chandler: Thanks.
Monica: Thank you.
Joey: Ahem. I think there's been an oversight.
Chandler: Joe, we would have asked you. We just thought you wouldn't be interested.
Monica: Yeah, it's just that we don't think of you as really being so much with the words.
Joey: Wha-He-Wha-He-
Monica: Clearly, we were wrong.

Joey: I got a lot of nice stuff to say about you guys, okay? And I know how much you want to have a baby and I would love to help you get one.
Monica: You know what? Then, Joey, we want you to do it.
Joey: Thank you. All right. Let me see how I'm gonna start. "Dear Baby Adoption Decider People"
Chandler: So excited about your letter.

Monica: Wow, don't you look nice.
Phoebe: Yes, I do. Today's Mike and my one-year anniversary.
Rachel: What's it the anniversary of? Your first date, your first kiss, first time you had sex?
Phoebe: Yeah.

Amy: Rachel, open up. It's your sister. I have to talk to you.
Ross: Hi, Amy.
Amy: You're not Rachel.
Ross: Still sharp as a tack.

Rachel: So, now, what are you doing here?
Amy: Well, I have huge news.
Rachel: Oh, sorry. Hold on. Let me check on the baby.
Amy: This is important. Can't Ella wait?
Ross: Uh, her name is Emma.
Amy: Why did you change it? Ella was so much prettier.
Ross: What do I know? I just sell Middle Eastern food from a cart.
Amy: Hey, your English is getting better.

Ross: Oh, my God.
Joey: I know. She may be the hottest girl I've ever hated.

Ross: What you working on?
Joey: Monica and Chandler's recommendation. I want it to sound smart, but I don't know any big words or anything.
Ross: Why don't you use your thesaurus?
Joey: What did I just say?
Ross: Watch. Here, you highlight the word you want to change, go under "tools" and the thesaurus generates- Gives. Gives a whole list of choices. You can pick the word that sounds smartest.
Joey: My God, that's great. I'm smart. No, no, I'm: "Brainy, bright, clever." I love this thing! Look out, ladies! Joey Tribbiani's got the whole package!

Joey: But we're getting rid of her, right? Please tell me we're getting rid of her?
Rachel: Joey, I can't do that.
Joey: Oh, come on. Last night I was finishing off a pizza, and she said: "Ooh, ooh, ooh. A moment on the lips, forever on the hips." I don't need that kind of talk in my house!

Rachel: Joey, look, I know that she's difficult but I think it's really good that she's here.
Joey: Because we'll appreciate it more when she's gone?
Rachel: No, it's just Look, you know, when I first moved to this city, I was a lot like her. I was spoiled, self-centered. And you guys really took care of me.
Joey: Yeah. Monica made us.

Amy: Uh. Sure you want to eat that?
Joey: I'm curvy and I like it!

Phoebe: Well, do you think I should propose?
Rachel: I think it could be kind of great.
Ross: Absolutely. You'll love the feeling. There's nothing like it.

Amy: Nana's on the phone.
Rachel: Wow. That's interesting, since she died seven years ago.
Amy: She did? Who got her condo in Boca?
Rachel: [on the phone] Hello? It's our nanny.