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The One with All the Candy

‘The One with All the Candy’

Season 7, Episode 9 - Aired December 7, 2000

Monica tries to get to know her neighbors better by making candy for everyone in the building. Meanwhile, Ross buys Phoebe her first bicycle, and Rachel's relationship with Tag is nearly revealed at Ralph Lauren.

Quote from Monica

Monica: I can't believe that sign didn't work.
Chandler: You know what would work? Stop making candy.
Monica: But they like it.
Chandler: You mean they like you.
Monica: Maybe.
Chandler: Is that why you became a chef, so people would like you?
Monica: Oh. You really want to talk about getting people to like you, huh, funny man?

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Quote from Monica

Monica: The basket is totally empty. Oh, my God, the neighbors ate all the candy.
Chandler: Well, either that or...
Monica: Joey!

Quote from Monica

Monica: See? This is why I told you not to get involved with your assistant. There's no such thing as a secret when it comes to affairs. Did you hear that, Chandler? No such thing!
Chandler: What happened? I'm just eating candy.

Quote from Ross

Ben: I'm ready.
Ross: You sure?
Ben: Uh-huh.
Chandler: Let me just straighten out your helmet there.
Ben: Thanks, Daddy.
Ross: No, no. One daddy, two mommies.

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: Did the girl ever let you ride it?
Phoebe: No. But she gave me the box that it came in. It had a picture of the bike on the front. So I would sit on it and my stepdad would drag me around the backyard.
Ross: That is so unfair.
Phoebe: Not really, I got to drag him around too.

Quote from Ross

Monica: Ross, the neighbors ate all my candy.
Ross: Mine stole my newspaper. It's like a crime wave.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: So did you read your evaluation yet?
Tag: No, it was marked "confidential." I just sent it down to human resources.
Rachel: Okay, please, you're kidding, right? I wrote that one as a joke for you.
Tag: A joke they would appreciate?
Rachel: I'm thinking, no.
Tag: What did you say?
Rachel: I said I thought you were a good kisser and that I liked your teeny, tiny tushy.
Tag: Oh, no, not my tushy.
Rachel: Oh, it gets worse. Where asked if you take initiative, I wrote: "Yes, he was able to unhook my bra with minimal supervision." And under problems with performance, I wrote, "Dear God, I hope not." And then- And then I drew a little smiley face. And then a small pornographic sketch.

Quote from Joey

Monica: That is so sweet of you to get Phoebe that bike. When I heard the story, I almost cried.
Joey: Almost cried, huh? Hear that, Chandler? "Almost" cried.

Quote from Monica

Woman: Please, I have people coming from out of town today. I told them all about your candy.
Monica: You're kidding. Out-of-towners, huh? What did you tell them?
Woman: I told them your candy was absolutely indescribable.
Monica: Some people have said it's "little drops of heaven." But whatever.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Hey, there's some people outside asking about candy.
Monica: Well, they're just going to have to wait, okay? I only got two hands!
Ross: Need some help?
Monica: No, you don't know the system. I don't need nobody messing with the system!
Ross: By the way, the week before your wedding, you may not see a lot of me.

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