Joey: Some girl ate Monica.
Monica: Shut up. The camera adds ten pounds.
Chandler: Huh. So how many cameras are actually on you?

Phoebe: Hey, Mon, what is this?
Monica: Oh, that was my bathing suit from high school. I was a little bigger then.
Chandler: Oh, I thought that's what they used that to cover Connecticut when it rains.

Joey: This is a little extra something for always being there for me.
Chandler: Wow, I don't know what to say. [after opening the box] Wow, I don't know what to say.
Joey: What do you say?
Chandler: I don't know. It's a bracelet.
Joey: Isn't it? And it's engraved, too. Check it out.
Chandler: "To my best bud."
Joey: Thanks, best bud. Put it on.
Chandler: Now? [putting it away in a drawer] No, I think something this nice should be saved for a special occasion.
Joey: No, that's the beauty part. It goes with everything. When you put this on, you're good to go. Oh, man. You are so wearing that bracelet.
Chandler: I so am.
Joey: Do you have any idea what this will do for your sex life?
Chandler: Well, it will probably slow it down at first, but once I get used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track.

Joey: How come you have two?
Chandler: Well, this one's for you.
Joey: Get out.
Chandler: No, I can't. Listen, I know how much this means to you and I also know this is about more than just jewelry. It's about you and me and the fact that we're "best buds."
Joey: Is this friendship? I think so. Check it out. We're bracelet buddies!
Chandler: That's what they'll call us.

[on the video tape:]
Judy Geller: Oh, I see Rachel's coming up the path. Doesn't she look pretty? Jack? Can you get this?
[back in the apartment:]
Rachel: Oh, my God.
Joey: What is with your nose?
Rachel: They had to reduce it because of my deviated septum.
Chandler: Okay, I was wrong. That's what they use to cover Connecticut.

Phoebe: Oh, hang in there. It's gonna happen.
Ross: Now, how do you know that?
Phoebe: Because she's your lobster.
Chandler: Oh, she's going somewhere.
Phoebe: Come on, you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what? You can actually see old lobster couples walking around their tank, holding claws, like...

Monica: I can't believe you did that.
Ross: Yeah, well. [Rachel goes over and kisses Ross]
Phoebe: See? He's her lobster!

Monica: Wow, that is a surprise. Just one little question. Why not Ross's room?
Jack Geller: Gosh. We talked about that but your brother had so many science trophies, and plaques, and merit badges. Well, we didn't want to disturb them.
Monica: God forbid.

Chandler: Oh, this is excellent. He could have gotten me a VCR or a set of golf clubs. But no, he has to get me the "woman repeller". The eyesore from the Liberace House of Crap!
Phoebe: It's not that bad.
Chandler: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say. You don't have to walk around sporting a reject from the Mr. T collection!
Phoebe: Chandler. Chandler-
Chandler: "l pity the fool that puts on my jewelry. I do. I do. l pity that fool that-" Hey, man. We were just doing some impressions over here. Do your Marcel Marceau. [Joey is silent] That's actually good.

Rachel: Okay, Ross, listen to me. I am not yours to save.
Ross: But you are.
Rachel: What?
Ross: Oh, well, you're my lobster.
Rachel: Okay. What, are you being, like, the blind-date guy again?
Ross: No, no. No, you're my lobster. See, lobsters. In the tank, when they're old they get with the- They walk around holding the claws. In the tank. You know, with with the holding and-Pheebs, you wanna help me with the whole lobster thing?
Phoebe: Do the claws again.