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The One with Rachel's Assistant

‘The One with Rachel's Assistant’

Season 7, Episode 4 - Aired October 26, 2000

When Rachel gets to hire an assistant at work, she is torn between a well-qualified older woman and an attractive young man. Meanwhile, Joey is offered a part on Days of our Lives as his old character's evil twin, and Monica, Chandler and Ross reveal embarrassing secrets about each other.

Quote from Joey

Joey: It's the producers over at Mac and Cheese, if you'll excuse me for a minute. Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next week's script. Canceled! Like, they're taking it off the air? All right, I'll see you Monday. We're not even shooting them anymore?


Quote from Monica

Monica: Ross used to stay home every Saturday night to watch Golden Girls.

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: Phoebe, do you think that your favorite animal says much about you?
Phoebe: You mean behind my back?

Quote from Joey

Joey: These really are the "days of our lives."
Monica: What?
Joey: Well, since you ask. They want me back on Days of Our Lives.
Rachel: I get a big pay raise.
Phoebe: Oh, hey.
Joey: I'll be playing Drake Ramoray's twin brother, Stryker.
Rachel: I get to hire my own assistant.
Joey: Well- I got a headrush from standing up too fast.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: I just have one last question for you. How did I do? Was this okay?
Hilda: What?
Rachel: I've never interviewed anyone before. I've never had anyone work for me before. Although when I was a kid we did have a maid, but this isn't the same thing.
Hilda: No, dear, it's not.
Rachel: And I know that.

Quote from Chandler

Chandler: What was with all the whispering?
Monica: I can't tell you. It's a secret.
Chandler: Secret? Married people aren't supposed to have secrets. We love and respect one another too much.
Monica: Aww. But still, no.
Chandler: No, I'm serious. We should tell each other everything. I do not have any secrets from you.
Monica: Really? So why don't you tell me what happened to Ross, junior year at Disneyland?
Chandler: Oh, no, no, no. I can't do that.
Monica: If you tell me, I'll tell you what Phoebe said.
Chandler: Okay.
Monica: Okay.
Chandler: So Ross and I are going to Disneyland and we stop at this restaurant for tacos. When I say restaurant, I mean a guy, a hibachi, and the trunk of his car. So Ross has about ten tacos. Anyway, we're on Space Mountain and Ross starts to feel a little iffy.
Monica: Oh, my God. He threw up?
Chandler: No, he visited a town a little south of throw up.

Quote from Monica

Chandler: What was Phoebe's secret?
Monica: Nancy Thompson, from Phoebe's old massage place, is getting fired.
Chandler: That's it? I gave up my Disneyland story for that?
Monica: That's right. You lose, sucker! Please still marry me.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Hey, Terry.
Terry: Hey, Joey. Nice to see you again.
Joey: Been a while. It's funny, these halls look smaller than they used to.
Terry: It's a different building.

Quote from Joey

Joey: You know, Terry, I don't really need to do this. I got my own cable TV series with a robot.
Terry: I'm sorry, Joey. That's the way it is.
Joey: Well, I guess you think you're pretty special, huh? Sitting up here in your fancy, small-halled building making stars jump through hoops for you. Well, you know what? This is one star whose hoop- This is the star the hoop- This hoop- I was Doctor Drake Ramoray!

Quote from Monica

Monica: Chandler one time wore my underwear to work.
Chandler: Hey!
Monica: Oh. I'm sorry, I couldn't think of any more for Ross.

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