‘The One with the Holiday Armadillo’
Season 7, Episode 10 - Aired December 14, 2000
Ross tries to teach Ben about the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah. Meanwhile, Phoebe worries that Rachel won't want to move back in with her now their apartment is ready.
Quote from Ross
Ross: I'm the Holiday Armadillo! I'm a friend of Santa's and he sent me here to wish you a merry Christmas.
Monica: What happened to Santa, Holiday Armadillo?
Ross: Santa was unavailable so close to Christmas.
Monica: Well, come in, have a seat. You must be exhausted, coming all the way from Texas.
Ben: Texas?
Ross: That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the Southern states. And Mexico!
Quote from Ross
Ross: Okay, Ben. Santa has to go. Say goodbye.
Ben: No, why does he have to go?
Chandler: Because if Santa and the Holiday ... Armadillo are ever in the same room for too long the universe will implode! Merry Christmas!
Ben: No, why can't the armadillo leave? I want Santa.
Ross: Fine, I give up. Santa- Santa can stay!
Chandler: Well, I'll stay but only because I want to hear about Hanukkah. Ben, will you sit here with Santa and learn about Hanukkah?
Ben: Okay, Santa.
Ross: Thank you.
Chandler: You're welcome.
Ross: All right, it's time for the story of Hanukkah. Years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees!-
Joey: Merry Christmas!
Quote from Monica
Chandler: Could we get two burritos to go, please?
Monica: I'm sorry. But not that sorry. You don't have to live with it.
Quote from Ross
Ross: But Santa sent me here to give you these presents, Ben. Maybe the lady will help me with these presents.
Ben: Wow, thanks!
Ross: You're welcome, Ben. Merry Christmas. And happy Hanukkah!
Ben: Are you for Hanukkah too? Because I'm part Jewish.
Ross: You are? Me too.
Monica: Because armadillos also wandered in the desert?
Ross: You want to wander in the hall?
Quote from Rachel
Ross: Hey, I just found out. I get Ben for the holidays this year.
Rachel: That's great.
Monica: Are you gonna dress up as Santa?
Ross: Nope. I mean, I know Susan does every year. But I think I want to take this year to teach him about Hanukkah.
Phoebe: And maybe I could teach Ben about the Christmas skull and how people die.
Rachel: You may need to use this year to teach Ben about Phoebe.
Quote from Phoebe
Monica: Phoebe, don't worry about it. I'm sure she wants to live with you.
Phoebe: You're sure? You're absolutely sure?
Monica: Well, no, but I'll bet she probably does.
Phoebe: Oh, probably? Yeah, I don't like that word. I know what "probably" really means. Yeah, uh-huh, yeah. "Oh, your mom probably won't kill herself." I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging all my hopes of Rachel and I living together on "probably." You know, you gotta take care of yourself in this world. History teaches us nothing.
Quote from Joey
Joey: Guess what Phoebe got me for Christmas?
Rachel: Drums?
Joey: No, drums!
Quote from Chandler
Monica: We have a reservation under the name Chandler Bing.
Maitre D': Okay, we'll have a table for you in about 45 minutes.
Chandler: 45 minutes? We have tickets to The Music Man at 8.
Maitre D': I'm sorry. Christmas is a very busy time, sir.
Chandler: Is this because of the burrito thing?
Quote from Chandler
Monica: You need to give him money.
Chandler: It was a joke!
Monica: No, to get a table. Places like this are always shaking you down. Everybody wants a payoff.
Chandler: All right, calm down, O'Malley.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Okay, I'll slip him some money.
Monica: But you've got to be smooth about it.
Chandler: Hey, I can be smooth. Listen, we're in a little bit of a hurry. If you could get us a table a bit quicker, I'd appreciate it.
Maitre D': Of course, sir.
Chandler: Okay.
Monica: How'd it go?
Chandler: Had the money in the wrong hand.