Chandler: Ooh, Israeli champagne and it's vanilla.
Ross: I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery!

Monica: So glad you decided to come.
Joey: Me too. Yeah, this place is great. I'm so happy for your guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus.
Chandler: What?
Joey: Fungus. Yeah, place is full of it.
Monica: No, it's not. We had an inspection and I didn't find anything.
Joey: Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes and a scratchy throat for no reason.
Monica: Maybe it's because you hung your head out of the window like a dog the whole ride here.
Joey: Maybe.

Monica: Hey, where have been?
Joey: Oh, just, you know, looking around. But you know what, this house is great.
Chandler: Really, what changed your mind?
Joey: Well, the little girl who lives here made feel a lot better about the whole thing.
Chandler: Joey, there was a little girl who lived here but she died, like, 30 years ago.
Joey: What?!
Chandler: Ha. I'm just messing with you.
Joey: That's not funny. You know I'm afraid of little-girl ghosts.

Ross: Hey, is Rachel here?
Monica: Nope.
Ross: She's still at dinner?
Monica: I guess. Who's she with?
Ross: That guy Mark from Bloomingdale's. She think he's just being nice to her, but I know he really wants to sleep with her.
Chandler: It's seven years ago. My time machine works!

Phoebe: Good for you. That was really mature.
Joey: What? No. The only reason I am going to their stupid new house, is so I can point out everything that's wrong with it, so they don't move. I am gonna make them stay here.
Mike: You're a strange kind of grown up.

Chandler: Hey, Joe. We've got a couple of things we've got to check out at the new house. You wanna come with us?
Joey: No, thank you.
Monica: Joey, I know you're not happy about us moving, but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house.
Chandler: Yeah. Come with us, you'll see how close it's to the city.
Joey: No, it's not close. You said it was in escrow. I couldn't even find it on the map.

Rachel: Hi. Um, I'm here to see Mr. Campbell with Gucci. The reservation is probably under Gucci. It's spelled like "Gucky", which can be confusing.
Maître d′: Mr. Campbell is not here yet. Let me show you to his table.
Rachel: [gasps] Oh, my god. That's my boss. You have to seat us somewhere else.
Maître d′: I'm sorry. That's always Mr. Campbell's table.
Rachel: But my boss can not see me. I'm interviewing for another job.
Maître d′: I know, with "Gucky".

Ross: Hey you guys. I have great news.
Monica: Ross. We're kind of in the middle of dinner here.
Ross: Oh well, I already ate, but sure.
Ross: Guess what happened at work today?
Chandler: A dinosaur died a million years ago.
Ross: Uh, try sixty-five million years ago. And then try ssh!

Rachel: Hi, you guys. Ooh, Italian.
Monica: No- No one wanted seconds, right?
Ross: No, no. I'm good.
Rachel: Hey, you guys are never gonna believe it. This headhunter called me. I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci. Gucci wants me.
Ross: I am up for tenure.
Rachel: Congratulations.
Ross: You too. What are the odds.
Joey: Guess what? I finally got that seed out of my teeth.
Monica: I don't know who I am happiest for?
Phoebe: I do. He's been working on that all day. [Phoebe applauds]

Phoebe: Hey, Mon, was it weird changing your name to Geller Bing?
Monica: No. No. It felt nice to acknowledge this.
Phoebe: Oh. Where did you go to do it?
Monica: Um, the, uh- The Ministry of Names ... Bureau.
Chandler: You never did it.
Monica: I'm sorry. It's just the idea of being an official Bing.
Chandler: Hey. I will have you know that- Ah, who am I kidding? Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.