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The One with Princess Consuela

‘The One with Princess Consuela’

Season 10, Episode 14 -  Aired February 26, 2004

After Phoebe goes to change her name following her marriage to Mike, she gets creative when she learns she can choose anything at all. Rachel has dinner with a recruiter from Gucci, but her boss is seated at the next table. Meanwhile, Chandler and Monica ask a reluctant Joey to visit their new house.

Quote from Ross

Chandler: Ooh, Israeli champagne and it's vanilla.
Ross: I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery!


Quote from Joey

Monica: So glad you decided to come.
Joey: Me too. Yeah, this place is great. I'm so happy for your guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus.
Chandler: What?
Joey: Fungus. Yeah, place is full of it.
Monica: No, it's not. We had an inspection and I didn't find anything.
Joey: Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes and a scratchy throat for no reason.
Monica: Maybe it's because you hung your head out of the window like a dog the whole ride here.
Joey: Maybe.

Quote from Joey

Monica: Hey, where have been?
Joey: Oh, just, you know, looking around. But you know what, this house is great.
Chandler: Really, what changed your mind?
Joey: Well, the little girl who lives here made feel a lot better about the whole thing.
Chandler: Joey, there was a little girl who lived here but she died, like, 30 years ago.
Joey: What?!
Chandler: Ha. I'm just messing with you.
Joey: That's not funny. You know I'm afraid of little-girl ghosts.

Quote from Chandler

Ross: Hey, is Rachel here?
Monica: Nope.
Ross: She's still at dinner?
Monica: I guess. Who's she with?
Ross: That guy Mark from Bloomingdale's. She think he's just being nice to her, but I know he really wants to sleep with her.
Chandler: It's seven years ago. My time machine works!

Quote from Mike

Phoebe: Good for you. That was really mature.
Joey: What? No. The only reason I am going to their stupid new house, is so I can point out everything that's wrong with it, so they don't move. I am gonna make them stay here.
Mike: You're a strange kind of grown up.

Quote from Joey

Chandler: Hey, Joe. We've got a couple of things we've got to check out at the new house. You wanna come with us?
Joey: No, thank you.
Monica: Joey, I know you're not happy about us moving, but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house.
Chandler: Yeah. Come with us, you'll see how close it's to the city.
Joey: No, it's not close. You said it was in escrow. I couldn't even find it on the map.

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: Hi. Um, I'm here to see Mr. Campbell with Gucci. The reservation is probably under Gucci. It's spelled like "Gucky", which can be confusing.
Maître d′: Mr. Campbell is not here yet. Let me show you to his table.
Rachel: [gasps] Oh, my god. That's my boss. You have to seat us somewhere else.
Maître d′: I'm sorry. That's always Mr. Campbell's table.
Rachel: But my boss can not see me. I'm interviewing for another job.
Maître d′: I know, with "Gucky".

Quote from Ross

Ross: Hey you guys. I have great news.
Monica: Ross. We're kind of in the middle of dinner here.
Ross: Oh well, I already ate, but sure.
Ross: Guess what happened at work today?
Chandler: A dinosaur died a million years ago.
Ross: Uh, try sixty-five million years ago. And then try ssh!

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: Hi, you guys. Ooh, Italian.
Monica: No- No one wanted seconds, right?
Ross: No, no. I'm good.
Rachel: Hey, you guys are never gonna believe it. This headhunter called me. I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci. Gucci wants me.
Ross: I am up for tenure.
Rachel: Congratulations.
Ross: You too. What are the odds.
Joey: Guess what? I finally got that seed out of my teeth.
Monica: I don't know who I am happiest for?
Phoebe: I do. He's been working on that all day. [Phoebe applauds]

Quote from Chandler

Phoebe: Hey, Mon, was it weird changing your name to Geller Bing?
Monica: No. No. It felt nice to acknowledge this.
Phoebe: Oh. Where did you go to do it?
Monica: Um, the, uh- The Ministry of Names ... Bureau.
Chandler: You never did it.
Monica: I'm sorry. It's just the idea of being an official Bing.
Chandler: Hey. I will have you know that- Ah, who am I kidding? Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.

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