‘The One Where Joey Tells Rachel’
Season 8, Episode 16 - Aired February 28, 2002
After Joey tells Ross about his infatuation with Rachel, he agrees that Joey should talk to Rachel about his feelings. Meanwhile, Phoebe claims to have found Monica's soulmate.
Quote from Monica
Monica: Joey is not even thinking about going after Rachel.
Ross: He's not?
Monica: No. All he's thinking about is how you're taking this. Listen, it's completely freaking him out. He's talking about moving to Vermont.
Ross: Why?
Monica: He says he wants to leave the country.
Quote from Monica
Monica: I can't even imagine how hard this must be for you but I don't want you to lose Joey over it. Right now, he just needs to know that you're still his friend.
Ross: Okay, I'll talk to him.
Monica: I'd do it soon. He just asked me how he could convert his dollars into Vermont money.
Quote from Phoebe
Chandler: Are you listening to this.
Phoebe: I'm so sorry.
Chandler: What do we do?
Phoebe: I don't know. They both want to live in a house of cheese. I don't know how you fight that.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: Phoebe thinks that you and Don are soul mates. And I don't believe in that sort of stuff, but then you two totally get along. So, look, I won't stand in your way if you wanna run away with Don and live in a house of cheese.
Quote from Chandler
Monica: Are you okay? You've been acting weird all afternoon.
Chandler: Yeah. Fine. Fine. Not perfect. But good enough.
Monica: Jeez, what is with you?
Chandler: I'm sorry, did you say "cheese"?
Quote from Monica
Don: But when it comes to cheese, I am one of those people who thinks the smellier, the better.
Monica: Me too! Chandler hates it. I can't have blue cheese in the house.
Don: And you're still married to him?
Quote from Ross
Ross: I'm sorry, did you just say it's Rachel?
Joey: Yes.
Ross: You like Rachel?
Joey: Yes. I like Rachel.
Ross: Rachel?!
Joey: Yeah. Okay, but look, you know- You know who else I like? You. And it doesn't get said enough. I like you, Ross.
Ross: Rachel Rachel?
Joey: It's not a big deal.
Ross: It's not a big deal? Oh, I'm sorry, I just- What about all the stuff you just said? How you can't stop thinking about her? How you can't sleep?
Joey: I'm an actor, you know? As a group, we tend to be over dramatic.
Ross: Rachel-who's-carrying-my-baby Rachel?
Joey: I know it's bad. And I know it's wrong, okay? But it's not like anything's ever gonna happen. These are just feelings. They're going to go away.
Ross: You know, I gotta go.
Joey: Hey, Ross-
Ross: You know, I just have one- Rachel?! [mouths] Rachel?
Quote from Rachel
Phoebe: Let me ask you. Do you believe in soul mates?
Rachel: Oh, yes, I do. I do. I believe there's one person out there for everyone. And you know how you find him? You stop looking for him. That's why I've stopped looking for Russell Crowe. He'll find me.
Quote from Chandler
Chandler: I believe that certain people are more suited for each other and I believe in falling in love, but- Soul mates? I don't think they exist.
Phoebe: Okay. Good.
Chandler: Why?
Phoebe: Well, last night, I met Monica's.
Chandler: What?
Phoebe: Yeah, I had a date with this guy and I swear to God he's her other half.
Chandler: Come on, don't be crazy. You don't think there's somebody out there better suited for Monica than me, do you?
Rachel: ... Well, what's he like?
Phoebe: Well, he's tall. He has brown hair.
Rachel: Of course.
Chandler: A tall guy with hair similar to mine? Oh, unknowable universe!