Chandler: Seriously, where did this happen?
Ross: Okay. After you told me she was passed out in our room, I went in there to make sure she was all right. She was lying on my bed, all buried in people's coats. Well, I went to kiss her on the forehead but it was so dark, I accidentally got her lips. I started to pull away, but then I felt her start to kiss me back. It was only for a second, but it was amazing. And now- Now, I find out that you kissed her first.
Chandler: Wait, what bed did you say she was on?
Ross: Mine.
Chandler: I'm pretty sure I put her on my bed.
Ross: No, she was definitely on my bed.
Chandler: Why would I kiss a girl and then put her on your bed?
Ross: Well, then who was on my bed?
Monica: Oh! Oh! Oh!
Ross: No! No! No!
Monica: Yes!
Ross: You were under the pile of coats?
Monica: I was the pile of coats!

Ross: Oh, my God!
Monica: You were my midnight mystery kisser?!
Ross: You were my first kiss with Rachel?!
Monica: You were my first kiss ever?!
Chandler: What did I marry into?!

Donny Osmond: Now, Gene, I must remind you, you need all six of these to stay in the game. All right. Describe for Joey "things you find in your refrigerator."
Joey: Bah, they might as well just give us the points.
Donny Osmond: Give me 20 seconds on the clock. Ready? Go.
Gene: You put this in your coffee.
Joey: A spoon. Your hands. Your face.
Gene: It's white.
Joey: Paper. Snow. A ghost!
Gene: It's heavier than milk.
Joey: A rock. A dog. The Earth.
Gene: Pass. You put this on a sandwich.
Joey: Salami. Anchovies. Jam.
Gene: It's white.
Joey: Paper. Snow. A ghost!
Gene: It's made from eggs.
Joey: Chickens?
Gene: Pass. You put this on a hamburger.
Joey: Ketchup!
Gene: Yes!
Joey: Relish!
Gene: Stop.

Ross: So I made out with Adrienne, and you made out with Missy. Well, I guess we're even.
Chandler: Mm-hmm.
Ross: We are even, right?
Chandler: [sighs] Just one more thing. I was so pissed at you that night that I wanted to get back at you. So I thought, "Who does Ross like more than anybody?"
Ross: What did you do to my mom?

Donny Osmond: Welcome to the Winner's Circle. Joey, Gene, you guys ready?
Joey: Yeah.
Gene: Sure.
Donny Osmond: Okay. Give me 60 seconds on the clock, please. Ready? Go.
Gene: [answer: Types of Trees] Oak. Maple. Elm. Birch.
Joey: I don't know. Types of trees?
Gene: [answer: Spanish Words] Buenos días. Enchilada. Por favor.
Joey: Oh, I'm so sorry, I don't know any Spanish words.
Gene: [answer: Things That Burn] A match. A candle.
Joey: Things that go "tss" when you put them out.
Gene: A torch. A bonfire. Your pee.
Joey: Things that burn!
Gene: [answer: What a Dog Might Say] "I'd like to go for a walk." "Scratch my belly."
Joey: Dude. Dude, I think you're losing it.
Gene: "I have fur." "I like to bark."
Joey: Oh, oh, oh. What a dog says.
Gene: [answer: Pizza Toppings] Pepperoni.
Joey: Pizza toppings! Next.
Gene: [answer: Supermodels] Cindy Crawford. Christie Brinkley. Heidi Klum. Claudia Schiffer. Christy Turlington. Kate Moss.
Joey: Girls Chandler could never get?
Gene: Supermodels!
Joey: Where?

Joey: Oh, so we didn't win. But it's fun to play the game, right?
Gene: I got a kid starting college. I have to get surgery on my knee. You just lost me 10 grand.
Joey: Oh, wow. I'm so sorry. Okay, I promise, we'll do better next time.
Gene: Well, I will, because I won't be playing with you.
Joey: Hey, you know, some of those are pretty hard. Like, why would there be a ghost in my fridge? Yeah.

Officer Goodbody: Okay, ladies, can I have your attention, please?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah.
Officer Goodbody: Did someone call for the long arm of the law? I should warn you, I have a concealed weapon. I hope you're familiar with this state's penal code. Okay, okay. Enough teasing. Now for some pleasing. Whoa, whoa, whoa. She cringed.
Phoebe: This is how I look when I'm turned-on.
Officer Goodbody: You were talking about me before. Look, I don't need this.
I'm out of here. Where's my hat? Look, I've been in this business for a long time.
Phoebe: Shocking.
Officer Goodbody: Now, if you'll just pay me my $300, I'll be on my way.
Phoebe: $300? Are you kidding?
Rachel: No, that's okay. Just let me get my checkbook.
Phoebe: No, you're not gonna pay him. He didn't do anything.
Officer Goodbody: Didn't do anything? I took a bus all the way from Hoboken. I climbed, I don't know, like, a billion stairs. And it's not like I can take them two at a time.
Phoebe: I don't care. We're not paying you $300 for this.
Officer Goodbody: Well, it's not my fault if you're too uptight to appreciate the male form in all its glory.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Okay, I'm uptight. That's why I don't wanna watch a middle-aged guy dance around in what I can only assume is a child's Halloween costume.
Officer Goodbody: I may have borrowed this from my nephew but let me assure you, what's underneath is all man.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, did you say "all man" or "old man"?
Officer Goodbody: You're mean.
Monica: Look, officer- Sir?
Officer Goodbody: Damn it. Big surprise. The hunk of beef has feelings.

Joey: Hey, guys-
Monica: Wait! Let me tell them.
Joey: Sure.
Monica: Joey's gonna be a celebrity guest on a game show.
Ross: Really? Which one?
Monica: Fish. Seaweed. A sunken ship.
Ross: Things you find in the ocean. [gasps] You're gonna be on Pyramid!

Ross: It's so weird to see all these people again. Oh, my God, look. There's Jeffrey Klarik.
Chandler: Who?
Ross: He was roommates with John Rosoff. He went out with Andrea Tamborino. She dumped him for Michael Skloff.
Chandler: Did I go to this school?

Joey: I know it can be intimidating for regular people to be around celebrities but relax. I'm just like you, only better-looking and richer.