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‘The One with All the Jealousy’ Quotes Page 1 of 3    

Friends: The One with All the Jealousy

312. The One with All the Jealousy

Aired January 16, 1997

Ross is sure that Rachel's new co-worker, Mark, is trying to lure her away from him. Meanwhile, Monica dates a poetic busboy at the diner and Joey is forced to teach a Broadway cast to dance after a lie on his resume catches up with him.

Quote from Gunther

Ross: It's just, what you have to realize is, this whole Mark thing is really hard for me.
Rachel: Honey, why is it hard? We've been together for almost a year now.
Ross: Well, I was with Carol for like eight years, and I lost her. And now, if it's possible, I think I love you even more. So it's hard for me to believe that I'm not going to well, that someone else isn't going to take you away.
Gunther: Let it be me. Let it be me.


Quote from Ross

Chandler: Hey, what are you doing Friday?
Ross: Why?
Chandler: I need you to come to this bachelor party for my weird cousin Albert. You know, he's the botanist?
Ross: Oh, God. Yeah, botanists are such geeks.
Chandler: Yeah. Is that a dinosaur tie?
Ross: Yeah. [roaring]

Quote from Joey

Joey: It is me. It's a musical version of "A Tale of Two Cities," so I think I'm going to sing "New York, New York," and, uh- Oh, "I Left My Heart in San Francisco."
Ross: Uh, Joey, I don't think you get to pick the cities.
Joey: What?
Ross: Mr. Dickens gets to pick them.
Joey: Who?
Chandler: I'll get you the CliffsNotes.
Joey: The what?
Chandler: The abridgment.
Joey: Oh, okay. Ha, ha. [to Ross] The what?

Quote from Ross

Mark: Rachel Green's line. How may I help you?
Ross: Hi. Is Rachel there?
Mark: And who may I say is calling?
Ross: This is Ross.
Mark: Ross of?
Ross: Of "Ross and Rachel."

Quote from Joey

Chandler: Meanwhile, she is talking to him about you, and he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive. And she starts thinking, "Maybe this guy is for me because he understands me."
Joey: And before you know it, she's with him. And you'll be all, "Oh, man," and he'll be all, "Yes." Huh? And us, we'll be like, "Oh, dude." And pretty soon, you'll be like, [sad voice] "Hi." And, and, and, "Well, I can't go. Rachel and Mark might be there." And we'll be like, "Man, get over it. It's been four years."
Chandler: He paints quite a picture, doesn't he?

Quote from Chandler

Ross: Bye, Chandler.
Chandler: Listen, this pen's getting kind of boring, so can you pick me up some porn?

Quote from Chandler

Rachel: Okay, hey. Does everybody hate these shoes?
Chandler: Oh, yeah. But don't worry. I don't think anybody's going to focus on that when you're wearing that towel dress.

Quote from Chandler

Phoebe: Rach, I'm here with the purses.
Chandler: It must take you forever to find your keys.

Quote from Phoebe

Rachel: Is this actually a lunch box?
Phoebe: Um, no. It's a purse, and there's a thermos in it.

Quote from Chandler

Ross: He's very excited about the bachelor party, though. I think actually the only reason he's getting married is so he can see a stripper.
Phoebe: A stripper at a bachelor party. That is so cliche. Why don't you guys get a magician?
Chandler: Well, if a magician can open my beer with his butt cheeks, then all right.

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