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‘The One with Joey's Fridge’ Quotes

Friends: The One with Joey's Fridge

619. The One with Joey's Fridge

Aired March 23, 2000

When Rachel needs a date for a charity event, Monica and Phoebe compete to find her a companion. Meanwhile, Ross obsesses over Elizabeth going on a spring break vacation, and Joey's fridge breaks down.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Well, that thing's clearly in the way. All right. Aha. Ow! Damn fridge.
Rachel: Hey, Joey. How ya doin'?
Joey: Great roomie.
Rachel: Yeah, I guess we are roommates now.
Joey: Yeah. I know. Well, now that you bring it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot, Rach.
Rachel: I'm not paying for half of that. I'm only staying here until my apartment gets fixed.
Joey: Look, Rach, my parents bought this fridge just after I was born. Okay? Now, I have never had a problem with it. Then you show up and it breaks. What does that tell ya?
Rachel: That refrigerators don't live as long as people?
Joey: All right, you know that the ATM only lets you take out $300 at a time, so l'll take a check for the other $100.
Rachel: You're jokin', right?
Joey: Of course I'm joking. I don't take checks.
Rachel: Thank God you're pretty.

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Quote from Chandler

Phoebe: Have you seen your guy's body?
Chandler: No. Our guy's just a floating head.

Quote from Joey

Joey: So, anyway, how do you want to pay me?
Chandler: Is this a service you're providing me?
Joey: No, no, no. For my new fridge. For our new fridge.
Chandler: "Our" new fridge? I don't live here anymore.
Joey: So what? Look, okay, suppose we were a divorced couple.
Chandler: Uh-huh.
Joey: And I got custody of the kid. Right? Now suppose the kid dies and I gotta buy a new kid.
Chandler: Okay.
Joey: Gimme $400!

Quote from Rachel

Rachel: There's a big charity ball this weekend and Ralph Lauren bought a table so I kind of have to go.
Monica: What's the charity?
Rachel: I don't know. Something, either trees or disease. Ralph mumbles a lot.
Monica: Does Ralph mumble when you're not paying attention?
Rachel: Yeah. It's weird.

Quote from Joey

Rachel: But the thing is, I need to find a date.
Phoebe: Well, what kind of guy are you looking for?
Rachel: Someone that has his own tux or the ability to rent a tux.
Chandler: So he has to be a male who has at least $50.
Joey: Ooh, so close.

Quote from Rachel

Ross: Anyone else? Bring 'em on.
Rachel: Ooh. When's her birthday?
Ross: I don't know, Rachel. Why?
Rachel: Well, you know it's just been so long since I've been to Chuck E. Cheese.

Quote from Monica

Monica: I like Elizabeth.
Ross: Well, thanks.
Monica: In fact, I like her so much that you tell her I want my cookies early this year. You know, a box of Thin Mints and some Tagalongs.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: I just thought of the perfect guy for Rachel to take.
Chandler: That's so funny 'cause we found someone, too.
Phoebe: That's good. I guess she'll have a choice between my guy and your weirdo.
Chandler: Why would our guy be a weirdo?
Phoebe: 'Cause that's just your taste.

Quote from Phoebe

Phoebe: Well, my guy is spectacular, okay? He's a massage client. And one time, when he was on the table, I looked at it. And I mean, all of it.
Monica: You're not supposed to look.
Phoebe: Yeah, like there are police for that.

Quote from Phoebe

Monica: All right, your guy may have a great body, but our guy is really funny.
Phoebe: [scoffs] Chandler funny?

Quote from Monica

Monica: Our guy's a great dancer.
Phoebe: My guy's well-read.
Chandler: Our guy has great hair.
Phoebe: My guy has great teeth.
Chandler: Our guys smells incredible.
Monica: Do you want our guy to be your guy?

Quote from Joey

Chandler: Well, you don't look good, Joe.
Joey: Well, the fridge broke, so I had to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limes. And hey, what was in that brown jar?
Chandler: That's still in there?
Joey: Not anymore.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Or, you could just, you know, you. [Joey pushes Ross against the refrigerator]
Ross: What the hell are you doing?
Joey: What the hell am I doing? You just broke my fridge!
Ross: What? How do you know it- How do you know it's even broken?
Joey: Oh, you think I don't know what breaks my fridge? Excuse me. [opens fridge door] Well, what do you know? Broken! That'll be $400.
Chandler: Joey, I saw you push him.
Joey: You pushed him.
Ross: Joey, I did not break this. Okay? That has been broken for a while.

Quote from Joey

Joey: Chandler, remember I told you about our fridge? I still haven't gotten the check for your half yet.
Ross: Do not give him any money!
Joey: I'm not talking to you. You broke my fridge!

Quote from Monica

Ross: What's the difference?
Monica: Well, a spring vacation, you're doing nice things with your grandparents. Spring break, you're doing frat guys.

Quote from Joey

Chandler: So, what did Elizabeth say?
Ross: Well, turns out she is going to Daytona for "spring break, woo-hoo!" That means wet T-shirt contests, guys doing shots off of girls' bodies, waking up next to people you don't even know.
Joey: Man, she is going to have a great time!

Quote from Chandler

Ross: Okay, she can't go.
Phoebe: Ross, you can't tell her not to go. You just started dating.
Ross: Then what am I supposed to do?
Phoebe: Nothing. You just have to be cool with it.
Ross: Well, what if she goes down there and then sleeps with a bunch of guys?
Chandler: Well, maybe you don't marry this one.

Quote from Ross

Ross: Did you pack that bathing suit?
Elizabeth: Yeah.
Ross: So it was pretty funny when I hid it for a while. Anyway. I am worried about that bathing suit. Not because it's revealing, which I'm fine with. No, I'm concerned about your health. Sun exposure.
Elizabeth: Oh, don't worry, I have plenty of sun block. It's SPF 30.
Ross: All right. Well, if what's in the bottle is actually 30. I mean, sometimes you get 30, sometimes it's 4 and I swear to God more often than not, it's just milk.

Quote from Rachel

Phoebe: Rachel, we're sorry for pushing those guys on you.
Rachel: That's all right. I ended up having a really good time. The charity was a big success, they raised a lot of money and awareness.
Chandler: So, what was it for, anyway?
Rachel: I wanna say a disease.


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