The Goldbergs Quotes

The Goldbergs

The Goldbergs

A movie-obsessed teen documents his life growing up in an outrageous yet loving family in the 1980s.

Starring: Sean Giambrone, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Troy Gentile, Hayley Orrantia, Jeff Garlin, George Segal, Sam Lerner.
Recurring Actors: Bryan Callen, AJ Michalka, Tim Meadows, Matt Bush, Noah Munck, Shayne Topp, Kenny Ridwan, David Koechner.
Original Run: 2013-.

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Quote from Beverly in Adam Spielberg

Adam: I thought I was clear, no Mom on this movie.
Beverly: No, you said I couldn't be on set, which is why I'm here, acting as your agent. But don't worry.
I'll take my 10% in belly kisses.
Adam: Ahah-ah-ah! No! I don't need an agent.
Beverly: Food. What about food? Let Mama do the catering. You know I can make a lasagna so dense it can feed 62 people.
Adam: Fine! You can be my craft-service lady, but only 'cause a fed crew is a happy crew.

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Popular Quotes

Quote from Beverly in The Darryl Dawkins Dance

Beverly: [beep] me sideways. I have raised some thoughtful children.

Quote from Beverly in Happy Mom, Happy Life

Beverly: Somebody stole my baby. Well, not real baby, fake baby. It's a toy. Somebody stole my toy! I'm going to get attitude from my son's pretend wife. Can someone call the police? Or Toys 'r Us? I don't [beep] know any more.

Quote from Beverly in I Drank The Mold

Virginia Kremp: Oh please, I've seen Adam doing horseplay when I have specifically requested no horse play. He's no angel.
Beverly: Oh, he is an angel. He could literally sprout wings and take flight at any moment.

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Quote from Murray in The Beverly Goldberg Cookbook

Geoff: Bar, those letters were written about me. And they need to be sent in sealed so the admissions people know they're legit.
Barry: So, you're saying I'm going to actually have to ask a teacher to write nice stuff about me?
Erica: Ha! You're not going to college.
Murray: College-what? Who said college?
Matt: Whoa, where'd he come from?
Andy: For a big man, he moves like a phantom.
Murray: Because college is the only thing that matters to me. That and the thermostat.

Quote from Barry in I Drank The Mold

Murray: No more music crap! First I bought you records, then eight-tracks, then cassettes, where does it end?
Barry: Here. The technology ends here. CDs are so good that scientists have given up and quit. It's all over the paper. They're unemployed.

Quote from Murray in Jedi Master Adam Skywalker

Murray: Marvin, this isn't a get-rich-quick scheme. We sell furniture.
Marvin: Um, bean bag chairs are furniture. They're soft, colorful balls of furniture. How are you not getting this?
Murray: Damn it, Marvin. No person wants to sit on a sack of beans.
Marvin: Yes, they will. Just pull up a bag and sit on it!
Murray: I will never sit on a bag of beans.
Marvin: Sit on the beans.
Murray: I don't want to sit on the beans!
Marvin: No!
Murray: Come on!
Marvin: Try it!
Murray: Stop it! I don't want to try it!
Marvin: Ease on down to comfy town.
Murray: I don't want to! I just don't!
Marvin: Yes. Now let the tiny beans work their magic.
Murray: Damn it! I'm stuck! The more I push, the more I sink!