Previous Episode Next Episode 

28Quotes from ‘Family Takes Care of Beverly’

The Goldbergs: Family Takes Care of Beverly

205. Family Takes Care of Beverly

Aired October 29, 2014

After Pops accidentally burns down his apartment during a Halloween party, he gets evicted so Beverly moves him into the family home. Murray is put out by Pops' active lifestyle and decides to look at other housing options. Meanwhile, after Barry stops Erica from eating Pop Rocks candy with soda, he believes he saved her life and that she owes him.

Quote from Erica

Barry: I just saved your life.
Erica: What?
Barry: According to the way of the Samurai, you're my servant until the debt is repaid.
Erica: That's not a thing.
Barry: Oh, it is. It's the Bushido code.
Erica: Well, that sounds like complete Bushido.

Rate

Quote from Pops

Murray: Rule number four: no coming in after 10 o'clock.
Pops: Ten in the morning or ten in the evening?
Murray: Why would anyone come in at ten in the morning?
Pops: Why would anyone come in at ten in the evening?

Quote from Adam

Adam: No way. I won't have room for you, too.
Beverly: Well, we'll convert the garage into a cosy little in-law suite.
Adam: The garage is my space. That's where I watch movies and display my collectible figurines.
Beverly: Well you can move all that down to the basement.
Adam: So now I'm getting banished to the basement? I work my ass off and this is all I get?

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Fine. Take the garage. I'll just live down in the basement like a mole person. Is that what you want?

Quote from Adam

Adam: Roomies! We can finally be roomies.
Pops: Kiddo, I don't want to cramp your style. What if you bring a girl back to the room?
Adam: We both know that's not going to happen.

Quote from Pops

Pops: This is not my fault. I had a necktie hanging on the door. When a necktie's on the door, the pants are on the floor. Everyone knows that.

Quote from Barry

Erica: I didn't expect you to do some love rap to Lainey about Turner and Hooch. They weren't even a couple, dude. One is a dog.
Barry: That dog took a bullet for Tom Hanks! That's love!

Quote from Beverly

Murray: Son of a bitch.
Pops: You got that right. How'd you pull this off in two days?
Beverly: Oh, it was nothing. I just dusted, moved some boxes, dry walled, did a little electrical work, added a bay window. You know, a mother's touch.

Quote from Barry

Barry: There's something wrong with my insides! Aah! Oh, no. Oh, God, it's happening! Pop rocks and cola! I'm Mikey!
Erica: It's not real!
Barry: Oh, this is real. It just took longer to take me down 'cause my body's in peak condition.

Quote from Pops

Pops: It appears I have popped another waterbed while entertaining a female friend.

Quote from Beverly

Adam: That's my Halloween candy. Let me just eat it already.
Beverly: Not until we take it to the hospital and have it x-rayed. Ellen Shorstein's son found a handful of aquarium gravel in an almond cluster. Tore his braces right off.

Quote from Murray

Murray: Bevy, it's time we discussed other options. Stop it right there. I have said this a thousand times.
Beverly: We're not moving my dad into a home. Shady Willows is not a home. It's a leisure community for active seniors. I don't trust Shady Willows. "Shady" is in the name.
Murray: That's because old people love shade. They have trees. They have umbrellas. You name it, they got it.

Quote from Beverly

Adam: Wait, what? Since when are you living with me? What about Erica?
Beverly: Lovely girl, but deal with those mood swings? No thank you.
Adam: Well, go live with Barry.
Beverly: Aw, sweetie, it's more than likely we'll be taking care of him.

Quote from Erica

Barry: Did you tell her I can bench 200?
Erica: Yep.
Barry: Did you tell her I can pop like three wheelies in a row?
Erica: I did.
Barry: Did you tell her I'm a self-taught dancer?
Erica: She was not impressed.
Barry: Did you tell her that I give no excuses - and take no prisoners?
Erica: No dice.
Barry: Did you tell her I'm silky smooth but cut from steel?
Erica: Totally.
Barry: Did you tell her I can kick as high as my head and I used to own a python?
Erica: I told her everything.

Quote from Beverly

Adam: Why does Barry get to live on a commune while I'm stuck with you?
Beverly: Hon, not just me. You'll have your lovely wife and four beautiful boys for support.

Quote from Adam

Adam: I'm never coming home. This place has a sauna, an early bird dinner at four-thirty, and a seat in every shower. All my life I've been washing my body standing up, like a yutz!

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Finally! All my boys under one roof! It's happening!

Quote from Beverly

Murray: Taco Tuesdays, Fajita Fridays! It's all there!
Beverly: That is way too much Mexican food for him.

Quote from Murray

Murray: Damn it! I'm working my ass off trying to get people to move out of our house. Stop trying to move people in!

Quote from Murray

Murray: I can't unsee what I just saw. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It was like a couple of hairless cats fighting in a pile of pizza dough.
Pops: It was a very bad low angle.

Quote from Erica

Erica: An obstructed bowel. Didn't see that coming.
Barry: Who knew eating 12 full-sized Taffy bars and drinking all that pink goop would block me up?
Erica: Most people.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: There you are! My delicious little baby, I am so sorry I wasn't home when they called.
Barry: Mom, please!
Beverly: Your poor, clogged bottom!
Barry: Nurse! Nurse!

Quote from Beverly

Barry: Dude! You just, like, saved my life! Thank you.
Beverly: You don't have to thank me. It's my job! But according to Bushido code, you will have to re-pay me.
Barry: You know about Bushido code?
Beverly: Oh, I watched Shogun. That Richard Chamberlain - Meow.
Barry: Fine. What'd you want?
Beverly: I want snuggies.
Barry: Oh, come on!
Beverly: I want huggies, and cuddlies and smoochies.
Barry: No!
Beverly: I want 'em.
Barry: No!
Beverly: I want 'em.
Barry: I chose the warrior death instead. Put the taco back in my mouth!
Beverly: Bushido code! You have no honor.

Quote from Lainey

Barry: (Rapping) I'd do anything for a girl named Lainey Yeah! I'll punch a tiger, swim the Allegheny. I know it's creepy 'cause I'm her best friend's brother but I love her, and we should be together. Like Joanie loves chachi, Tango loves Cash, she's the Turner to my Hooch, I'll be the bangers in your mash.
Erica: Oh, my God! Stop!
Barry: Don't stop! "L" to the "y" to the "n" to the "e" that spells Lainey. That's a rap from Big Tasty.
Lainey: First of all, you spelled my name horribly wrong. And secondly, Erica never talked to me about you.

Quote from Beverly

Adam: Wait, what? So now I'm taking care of you and Barry.
Beverly: Just me. We'll find a place for Barry. Maybe the merchant marines or a commune.


 Episode 204 Episode 206 
  Select another episode