Previous Episode Next Episode 

31Quotes from ‘For Your Own Good’

The Goldbergs: For Your Own Good

118. For Your Own Good

Aired March 11, 2014

Murray is a creature of habit and does not take well to change, so he is not happy when Beverly replaces his much loved chair. After Beverly insists she did it for Murray's own good, he sets out to make changes in her life. Meanwhile, when Adam is bullied by a kid on the school bus, he looks to his big brother to fix things. After Barry takes over the school bus and enforces his own reign of terror, Adam soon regrets asking Barry for help.

Quote from Murray

Beverly: You know, scientific research shows that you need to let your privates breathe, especially if we're gonna have more kids one day.
Murray: First, I will never wear shorts under my pants. It's madness! And second, having more children is literally my worst nightmare!

Rate

Quote from Barry

Adam: So that means we're cool, too, right?
Barry: You led a mutiny against me, dude. We are most definitely not cool.
Adam: I didn't have a choice. You went mad with power!
Barry: Listen, I know from the outside it may seem like I have a perfect life, but the truth is there are a lot of jerks at school that aren't so nice to me. It was cool to have a place where I had respect for once.
Adam: I didn't know that.
Barry: Here, take your Garbage Pail Kids back. You don't need to pay me to protect you. I want to because you're my brother.

Quote from Murray

Murray: You never liked that chair. You've always been jealous of what we've had together.
Beverly: "We"? Who's "we"?
Murray: Me and Mr. Chair. That's right, it had a name.
Beverly: Well, it's not a very good one.

Quote from Adam

Adam: That's my big brother, Barry. He's clinically insane.
JC Spink: For real?
Adam: The doctors gave up on him. He's too crazy for their modern medicine.

Quote from Barry

Barry: (on the phone) The dude on TV said my football phone would be here in eight weeks. It's been ten! I mean, what am I supposed to do, huh? Make phone calls on a phone-shaped phone like some kind of animal? I say good day to you, sir.

Quote from Barry

Adam: Speaking of difficult problems, is there any way you would start riding the bus to school with me again?
Barry: Huh? Why would I ride the bus with you when I carpool with Erica and her smoking-hot friend Lainey who secretly loves me but is too afraid to act on it?

Quote from Barry

Barry: I've given it a lot of thought, and I'm respectfully declining your stupid-ass invitation.

Quote from Barry

Barry: I'm in.
Adam: For real?
Barry: Listen, bro. You're literally the most annoying, un-athletic, four-eyed, almost girl-like dork I've ever met.
But you're my brother, and no one beats you up but me.

Quote from Murray

Murray: No, stop! Once the chair molds to your body, there's no going back! It's imprinted to you for life!
Erica: Wha?
Murray: The first 48 hours are the most important. Get up! Get up! Aw, damn it. Now it's got your tiny girl imprint. This is truly the worst thing to ever happen to me.

Quote from Pops

Barry: Popcorn in four minutes!
Pops: Ooh. A cure for polio, a man on the moon, and now this.

Quote from Beverly

(Beverly smacks the microwavable popcorn out of Pops' hands)
Pops: Hey! Are you nuts?
Beverly: That food's been radiated. It's like poison in a bag.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: You're playing a very dangerous game. Are you sure you want to take me on?
Murray: Oh, I'm sure. In honor of my fallen comrade, Mr. Chair.
Beverly: Your fallen comrade smelled like an envelope full of farts!

Quote from Barry

Barry: I think it's time you leave my little brother alone or I'll spit at you. Without a ball! It'll be all spit.
JC Spink: No ball? Come on, man. That's crazy.
Barry: That's right. And there's a good chance I have mono, 'cause I sleep an insane amount.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Listen up, little bus people. There's a new sheriff in town, and his name is Barry Norman Goldberg. If you have anything to say to my little bro, you say it to me first.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Oh, morning, sweetie. Would you like some microwaved egg rubber?

Quote from Murray

Beverly: Look who finally came around on the boxers.
Murray: Nope.
Beverly: But you're dressed for work.
Murray: Yep.
Beverly: So everything's just all free in there?
Murray: Yep.
Beverly: No! You're an adult man in society. You need another layer! People won't see it, but they'll sense it.
Murray: You wanted my boys to breathe. Well, they're taking a big breath. That's right. The three amigos, they're dining alfresco.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: What did you do? What did you do? Holy [bleep]. Where's my Aqua Net?
Murray: Oh, your can of hair spray?
Beverly: Yeah.
Murray: I got rid of it for your own good. Did you know it's burning a hole in the ozone layer?
Beverly: I don't want to hear about some imaginary layer in the sky. I'm leading a PTA meeting in 30 minutes, and I need to command respect with my giant hair!

Quote from Erica

Beverly: It fried my hair!
Erica: Like, really quickly. It's so unhealthy. It's like you have a head full of sagebrush.

Quote from Barry

Barry: What just happened on your shirt?
Adam: Oh, it's hypercolor. The color changes when you touch it. I bought it with my lawn-mowing money.
Barry: I want it.
Adam: What? No! You'll stretch it out.
Barry: Good point. Then you will use your hard-earned money to buy me one that accommodates my muscular body.

Quote from Adam

Adam: Okay, look, everybody. Come here. We all know where we sit on this bus. Some of us are back-row material. Some, like me, kind of float in the middle. A few of us totally suck and sit in the front. But for once, let's forget about what row we sit in. For once, let's work together and take our bus!

Quote from Pops

Pops: Whoa, stop! Don't park your pants at the door. Rumor has it you're going alfresco.
Murray: Oh, damn it. I forgot. I miss my underpants.
Pops: Ah, you'll get used to it. I've been going alfresco since the '70s.

Quote from Pops

Murray: What the hell?
Pops: TV's gone, mur.
Murray: Yeah, I see that.
Pops: Beverly took it.
Murray: I figured that.
Pops: You lost the war, pal.
Murray: Stop talking.

Quote from Murray

Pops: You know, I've been watching these fish for 10 minutes, and I got to tell you, it's some entertaining stuff. These two fish, they're complete opposites. They'll never get along, but they have to. They live in close quarters.
Murray: Stop talking!

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Isn't it great? It's like being in the lobby of a Benihana. And the best part about it is you need to constantly tend to it.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: So sue me if I want you to sit in a chair that's not a disgusting fart trap that ruins the scheme of my entire living room.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Listen, I was just at the goodwill, and I was told that you purchased something that I need. That's my chair, sweetie.
Nitrous: No way, lady. I will never give you my chair. This thing's my throne. It's shaped perfectly to my body.
Beverly: Not your body, my husband's body, which also is very similar to your body.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: You don't need boobs. You need your laundry done. You need your bed made. You need to scour every surface in this house before one of you gets a wicked staph infection.
Nitrous: It's just, we don't know how.
Beverly: Mama's here, Nitrous.


 Episode 117 Episode 119 
  Select another episode