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41Quotes from ‘Mini Murray’

The Goldbergs: Mini Murray

103. Mini Murray

Aired October 8, 2013

When Adam tricks Pops in to taking him to see a scary movie, he is not prepared for how frightening the movie will be. Back home, a scared Adam rushes into the arms of his mother, but a bigger horror awaits when his she finds out about his trip to the cinema. Meanwhile, when Barry wants Murray to buy him an expensive pair of sneakers, Murray teaches him a lesson about the value of a hard day's work. However, after Barry excels at the job and decides the furniture store is his future, Murray wonders whether he is teaching the right lesson.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: If that's what you really think of me, then I have failed as a mother.

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Quote from Pops

Pops: Where the [beep] was the mouse?

Quote from Barry

Murray:You're fired.
Barry: What? Why?
Murray: It's not working out.
Barry: Yes, it is. It's working out awesome. You just can't randomly fire me. I mean, you have to have cause.
Murray: Okay. It's 'cause you're a moron.
Barry: No. This is not happening. In fact, I fire you. That's right, you're fired.
Murray: (to the customers) You don't have to go.
Barry: No. No, no, no. You guys leave and come to my store instead.
Murray: He doesn't have a store.
Barry: Oh, yes, I do have a store. I'm opening one right across the street.
Murray: He's not opening across the street.
Barry: I just did!
Murray: No, you didn't.
Barry: And Ron Jaworski's really gonna go there.
Murray: You don't know Ron Jaworski.
Barry: And people are gonna treat each other nicely. It's gonna be a friendly working environment! Who's coming with me, huh? You! Vic, I'm doubling your salary. You work for me now.
Vic: Wait, for real?
Barry: For real, for real.
Murray: No, he's not going with you.
Barry: Toodle-oo!
Vic: His store sounds nice.
Murray: His store isn't real!

Quote from Barry

Adam: What are you doing?
Barry: Rejecting all furniture. What are you doing?
Adam: There's a ghost in the TV.
Barry: That's just stupid.

Quote from Murray

Murray: You're bruising the plums. What do you think I'm made of, fresh produce?

Quote from Barry

Barry: What if I told you one day there'd be a piece of technology that can guarantee I play professional basketball? Well, that day has come. The Reebok Pump. A cushion of air around the foot that literally allows you to defy the laws of gravity. And the amazing part? It's only $175.

Quote from Barry

Beverly: Honey, I've got a pair of Reeboks upstairs you can have.
Barry: Oh, really? Can I please borrow your beige mom sneakers? My dream is to be a basketball superstar, not a nurse!

Quote from Murray

Barry: You have the money. Just get your pants and give it to me.
Beverly: Barry, your father's pants are not a bank.
Murray: Money comes from hard work, you moron.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Fine! But when I get to the NBA, and you want my autograph, I'm signing it, "Worst wishes Barry."

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Barbara Fishman's neighbor's nephew saw that movie. Three days later, he had a terror stroke.
Adam: A terror stroke? That's not even a thing!

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: You can see this movie.
Adam: "The Great Mouse Detective"?
Beverly: He's got a little magnifying glass. Ooh, take Pops. He loves talking animals.

Quote from Pops

Adam: Thanks again for bringing me.
Pops: Of course. Popcorn, milk duds, a mouse detective what's not to like?

Quote from Murray

Murray: Hey, Vic, say hello to my son.
Vic: What? Little baby Barry? Get outta here! That's a good-looking kid there, Mur. He must get it from his mom!

Quote from Murray

Murray: Where does Vic Jr. get it from? Carl down at the loading dock?
Vic: Oh, man, come on!
Murray: That's part of the job. We bust balls.

Quote from Murray

Barry: So this is what we do all day? It's pretty cool.
Murray: No, no, no, no. This is what I do all day, okay? You sweep. And then you move some furniture, and you sweep around that. I'll see you for lunch.

Quote from Adam

Adam: I just can't stop thinking about that movie. It's really gone to my head, Pops.
Pops: Aww, buddy. It's all make believe.
Adam: It's not. Ghosts are real. They're what keep the Ghostbusters employed.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: "Poltergeist"? I told him not to see that movie. Unbelievable! He's scared. That's why he wants snuggies.
Erica: Hey, if you're looking for some snuggies, I-
Beverly: You're not going to that party.

Quote from Murray

Barry: Why is it so low?
Murray: Taxes! You got federal, state, social security, F.I.C.A.
Barry: What are you talking about? Those aren't real things.
Murray: Did you ever go to school? Taxes? Those are totally real things.

Quote from Erica

Erica: Why'd you take the remote outside?
Beverly: It's not what you think.
Erica: I think you're scaring Adam so he'll give you hugs.
Beverly: It might be what you think. But is that so wrong?
Erica: Yes, it's wrong! Very, very wrong.

Quote from Barry

Vic: Hey, Barry, there's a woman on the phone who said that you set aside two nightstands for her?
Barry: Yep. And set aside a one-night stand for your wife.
Vic: Wha-
Barry: Just busting balls. It's what we do.
Vic: Come on. That's what we do.

Quote from Barry

Murray: What the hell are you doing? Get out of my chair, go outside, play basketball. Or something.
Barry: Ah, screw basketball. It was a stupid dream. You were right. But furniture? That's where it's at.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Oh, look at you! Ha, ha. You're a mini Murray! Chip off the old block.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Damn right he fired me. And you know why? 'Cause he's jealous. That's right. I sold the pink couch. And for a brief moment, you got to see what a good furniture salesman looks like. This. Yeah. Soak it in.

Quote from Barry

Barry: I'm done with you, I'm done with the store, and I'm done with furniture forever!
Murray: What does that even mean?
Barry: I reject all furniture! I'm going up to my room and getting rid of everything. I'll never be comfortable again.

Quote from Pops

Adam: Thanks for sleeping over, pops.
Pops: I'm sorry I didn't come sooner, kiddo. No man should have to bunk up with his mom for a week. No man.

Quote from Pops

Beverly: And you shouldn't have let him see something so scary.
Pops: Not my fault. That movie was wildly mis-titled. There was neither a mouse nor a detective.

Quote from Murray

Beverly: We're bad parents, aren't we?
Murray: We're not great, that's for sure.
Beverly: But who really is?
Murray: Well, uh, the blond people down the block. The ones with all the bikes. They're making it work.

Quote from Adam

Beverly: Here. I know you love Bill Murray and you wanted to see "Stripes", and I wouldn't let you. It's playing at the Dollar Theater.
Adam: Not interested.
Beverly: I hear they show boobs.
Adam: How many?

Quote from Beverly

Adam: Fine. One hug a week.
Beverly: One a day, Monday through Friday, weekends off.
Adam: Every other day, two seconds max.
Beverly: Five seconds.
Adam: Three and a half seconds. That's my final offer.
Beverly: Deal.

Quote from Murray

Barry Go away. Not talking to you.
Murray: That's okay. I'll do the talking.
Barry: Why? Did mom send you here?
Murray: Of course she did.

Quote from Murray

Murray: When I was your age, my dad he wasn't around much. I had nobody looking out for me. So I had no direction. Boy, if I hadn't met your mother, I don't know where I'd be today. And then Pops gave me a job at the store, and suddenly I'm a guy with a family and a future. What I'm trying to say is, for me, selling furniture was was a big deal. But I want more for you.


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