TV Quotes

Beverly: Are you crying?
Adam: No.
Beverly: Who hurt you? Tell me and I will hurt them tenfold.

Adam: Question? Why is the state so determined to make us move our bodies?
Dave Kim: Yeah, why focus on us?
Dan: It's like, what are they running from?
Coach Mellor: This run is not up for debate. It is law written clear as day in the state's constitution.
Adam: Balls. You've won this round, Pennsylvania, but you've messed with the wrong inactive citizen.

Adam: I can't sit with my mom at lunch. I'm already the sweaty jacket kid. It would ruin any shred of cool I have left.

Barry: Or there's option 3: pick one of the names I've carefully crafted for you.
Adam: "Spazitron Spazzowitz." "Nads Asshattington." "Turd Smugglins."
Pops: No! Who would name their child Turd if their last name was Smugglins?! Who?!

Murray: Hey, peanut. I heard about the kid with the hair. So, you're not going to the dance, huh?
Erica: Honestly, I hate dances. And the nice thing about being here alone is that there's no one here bothering me, acting like a moron. Oh my God, Barry's right. God, I'm just like you. Sorry.
Murray: I get it. But there's hope.
Erica: Why?
Murray: Well, things work out. I met your mom. She sees the best in everybody, even a grump like me. All I'm saying is, just give people a chance. Don't be a moron.

Erica: Damn it, I like stupid Geoff Schwartz.

Barry: Behold Andre Agassi! The greatest player in the world. You know why?
Adam: Skill?
Barry: Partly. But the other part? A deadly combination of splash, flash, and mullet.
Adam: A mullet can do that?
Barry: A mullet doesn't have a boss. It takes no orders! It's above the law! Like Steven Seagal!
Adam: But Seagal has a ponytail.
Barry: Which is just a fancy mullet tied with a rubber band. Why aren't you writing any of this down?