Erica: Dad! Wherever you are sitting or eating in this house, come to my room immediately. It's an emergency.
Murray: I was both sitting and eating, so this better be worth it.

Barry: Minimum wage? No, no, what's maximum wage?

Virginia Kremp: Oh please, I've seen Adam doing horseplay when I have specifically requested no horseplay. He's no angel.
Beverly: Oh, he is an angel. He could literally sprout wings and take flight at any moment.

Adam: I'm approaching the natives now. They seem to have a leader.
Erica: Dude, no! I told you not to do this.
Adam: Greetings, Colonial settlers. I have come from the year 2032 to warn you of impending doom.
Ren Bans: Everyone disregard. Time travel is not part of the tour.
Adam: Not part of the tour! See, I knew you'd say that, proving that I'm from the future, where robots have taken over and their power source is pure, thick, rich butter.
Erica: I'm starting up the Adam jar again. It's for your own good.
Adam: One of the female followers is a sad loner with no boyfriend.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Next, Barry would have his traditional middle-child meltdown over the struggles of being left-handed.
Barry: Damn it, Geoff, stop!
Geoff: What?
Barry: You're mashing your dominant hand into mine. [knife clatters] I can't eat like this.
Erica: Ignore him. Barry just acts like a big baby because he's a lefty.
Barry: You don't know the pain of the southpaw. I feel like a left-handed prisoner of war.

Pops: There it is. He lobbed it right in there.
Beverly: He was so good! Oh, he's a natural!
Adam: He didn't even throw from the mound.
Beverly: They're gonna sign him! They're gonna sign my baby!
Pops: Just let her have this. He's a pro all right!

Erica: Don't think of it as dropping out. Think of it as me transferring to your house.
Murray: This school rejects your application. You go now.
Beverly: He doesn't mean it, love bug. It's the Manischevitz talking.
Murray: Damn right I mean it! What makes her think she can move back in here, eat our food, sit on our furniture like she's one of our children.
Beverly: She is one of our children, Murray.
Murray: Fine, the dummy can stay as long as she pays for food and rent like a normal person. I'm putting my foot down on this.
Erica: Come on. This is my home. You can't make me pay for goods and services.
Murray: Plus rent. The foot has spoken.