The Goldbergs Quote of the Day
Tuesday, December 1, 2020
Monday, November 30, 2020
Adam: No way. I won't have room for you, too.
Beverly: Well, we'll convert the garage into a cosy little in-law suite.
Adam: The garage is my space. That's where I watch movies and display my collectible figurines.
Beverly: Well you can move all that down to the basement.
Adam: So now I'm getting banished to the basement? I work my ass off and this is all I get?
Sunday, November 29, 2020
Mr. Glascott: And that is how you perform CPR on a man. Whoa, Mr. Goldberg, what is that you have there? Is that another note?
Adam: What? You just-
Mr. Glascott: You know the rule. If you get caught with a note, you have to stand up and read it out loud so that everybody can hear it.
Adam: "Hey, Adam. Who's your favorite teacher? I know mine's old Glascott. He's hip like us. Dude just gets it. Did you know he's in a funk fusion band called Funk and Games? I heard he's playing at the farmer's market this weekend." I can't read any more. I'm just gonna eat it.
Mr. Glascott: You can't eat paper! It'll plug you up!
Saturday, November 28, 2020
Virginia Kremp: Yoo-hoo! [glass clinks] Why don't we go around the table and everyone say one thing that you're thankful for.
Pops: Can someone send some turkey to the foyer?
Beverly: I'm thankful my daughter hasn't changed at all since going to college. She's still the same as she's always been.
Virginia Kremp: Aww! Shady and selfish.
Pops: Shellfish?! We're having shellfish?! What kind of Thanksgiving is this?
Friday, November 27, 2020
Murray: I like that Steve Guttenberg. He's got a lot of range.
Barry: Dad, don't you care about what you just saw? There could be a mushroom cloud outside our window at any moment.
Murray: I say, "Bring on the cloud," 'cause then maybe you'll shut up and I can get back to watching my shows.
Thursday, November 26, 2020
Erica: Geoff, you being here is the perfect gift, really.
Geoff: But you know what's an even better gift than just the two of us celebrating your birthday?
Barry: Wait, it's your birthday? You all told me we were coming here so I could be scouted by the Washington Bullets.
Erica: Oh, my God! You invited my whole family! To dinner. In public. Why? How?!
Adam: We all drove down together.
Pops: Murray made me pump gas.
Murray: Nobody rides for free.
Erica: Do you mind giving me a sec with my special guy so that I can thank him properly?
Wednesday, November 25, 2020
Wednesday, December 2, 2020
Thursday, December 3, 2020
Friday, December 4, 2020
Saturday, December 5, 2020
Sunday, December 6, 2020