Beverly: [o.s.] Hey, I heard a new song on the radio by that man with the tushie... Uh, Bert Springbean? So, I went to Sam Goody, got in a fight with a man with a feather earring, and raced here with the cassingle.

Beverly: There's my schmoopaloopa. Where's your brother? He's got to hear this.
Erica: Yeah, he's indisposed.
Beverly: Hey, Barry, everything going okay in there?
Barry's voice: [from keyboard] Hi, Mom, this isn't a good time. This is Barry.
Beverly: But I haven't seen you all week. Open the door and let me hold your hand while you make poopalas.
Barry's voice: Thanks for stopping by! This is Barry.
Erica: Yeah, it's no bueno in there. Let me walk you to your car.
Barry's voice: Uh-oh! Barry did it again.
Beverly: [laughing] Oh! There you go, my big boy.
Barry's voice: This is Barry. I'm enjoying a shower.
Beverly: What? It doesn't sound like it.
Barry's voice: Testing. Erica, I don't think this is working.
Beverly: What a weird thing to say.
Erica: It really is, but he's obviously going through a lot, so let's not pull threads.
Beverly: Remind him to wash his bottom.

Adam: Pops, it's a dire romantic emergency.
Pops: Why do you think I hang out here all day buttering up bagels?

Geoff: Thank God it's over.
Barry: And yet it's not, young Geoffrey. With tonight's success, Mom will surely want to do this again every week.
Geoff: But I'll crumble under the weight of our thousands of lies!
Erica: It'll be fine. We'll do whatever it takes to keep our secret.
Beverly: What secret? That you guys are living together?
Geoff: Oh, no. She knows. Erica, she knows.
Erica: I know she knows. How do you know?
Beverly: I suspected, and also Geoff blurted it out three times tonight.
Geoff: It's true! We're living together! Why do I keep saying it? Pepperoni!

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Ah, the board games of the '80s. Nothing bonded families faster than a magical night spent rolling dice and trapping mice with loved ones. No one was more into it than my mom.
Beverly: Surprise! It's game night! [all groan] That's right. I blatantly lied to your faces to get you here.
Barry: So, I'm not getting an all-expenses-paid trip to Japan to have my own samurai sword forged from the iron of Mount Fuji?
Beverly: Not even a little bit.
Adam: So, pint-sized comedy genius Emmanuel Lewis isn't here to discuss future projects?
Beverly: You'll be the only tiny wonder in this house.
Erica: So, an A&R guy didn't reach out about a demo tape I made last year?
Beverly: You're a hit with me.
Erica: I ran here.
Pops: And my high school sweetheart didn't call, hoping to reconnect?
Beverly: She did call, but only to tell you to stop calling.
Pops: I'll stop calling when her nurse stops picking up.
Murray: So, no pizza?
Beverly: Phone's right there.
Murray: When will this deceit end?

Beverly: I just wanted one evening where we're all together in a focused seven-hour window.
Erica: Seven hours? That's almost half a night's sleep.
Adam: And aren't you forgetting we never actually play 'cause we can never agree on a game?
Beverly: While I do agree we've had some setbacks...
Pops: Setbacks? In a fit of rage, Barry kicked the Operation game and needed a real operation.
Barry: They sewed my toe back on, and now I have to think extra hard when I want to wiggle it.
Beverly: Despite Barry's zombie toe, we can still have a good night.

Beverly: The Game of Life?
Pops: I've already played it. Turns out, there are no winners. You'll see.

Adam: Everyone shut up. I'm pretty sure I've just been vibing with... Brea Bee.
Dave Kim: I heard you're not supposed to tell crazy people that they're crazy, but you're crazy.
Carla: Yeah, that makes no sense. You're wildly unappealing.
Adam: I'm having a hard time believing it, too. But there's something there. We both like Neil Simon.
Dave Kim: Everyone likes Neil Simon. He's the Brooklyn Bard. He makes your people folksy and relatable.

Adam: She's also a great person.
Carla: She can't be nice and hot. No one needs two ways to get stuff.
Dave Kim: In my experience, kindness and beauty do not go hand-in-hand.
Carla: He sees me.

Mr. Perott: So, we start with your signature look. For example, I always have a pair of sunglasses on me, just in case I need to dramatically toss them off like this. [sunglasses thud]
Adam: Your disregard for eyewear makes me know you mean business.
[cut]
Mr. Perott: Next, ABCG... Always Be Chewing Gum. That way, you look both busy and laid-back all at once.
Adam: Laid-back and busy. I'll be like a CEO from California.
[cut]
Mr. Perott: Third... Make sure you never give anyone your full attention. [snaps fingers] I'm over here. See how you got a little confused there, like there was something more interesting behind you? There wasn't. I just made that up.
Adam: So rude and effective.
Mr. Perott: And finally, whenever you're walking, play a kick-ass jam in your head.
Adam: Would the Ewok celebration song Yub Nub work?
Mr. Perott: I've never heard it before, but no.