Previous Episode Next Episode 

20Quotes from ‘Wingmom’

The Goldbergs: Wingmom

309. Wingmom

Aired December 2, 2015

Inspired by "Top Gun," Barry decides to join ROTC. Convinced it will help discipline him, Murray orders the Captain to prevent Barry from quitting when the going gets tough, prompting Beverly to join Barry, too! Meanwhile, Adam helps Pops get his swag back with a special librarian.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: I knew one day my kids would join the workforce, so like a good mother I compiled a list of occupations that are strictly off limits.
Barry: Why can't I be a construction worker?
Beverly: Eating lunch on a suspended beam with your legs dangling down? No way!
Barry: No pro-sports?
Beverly: Except golf, but you can't drive around in one of those buggies with no seatbelts.
Barry: Astronaut?
Beverly: Your sensitive tummy at zero-G?
Barry: Deli guy?
Beverly: Meat slicer.
Barry: Government clerk?
Beverly: Papercut.
Barry: Robot technician?
Beverly: Robot uprising.

Rate

Quote from Barry

Murray: Good stuff. What branch?
Barry: The one with the planes and boats. You're welcome, America.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Question, when do we get our nicknames assigned? Because I'm thinking I'm gonna be Sky Shark.
Andy: I call Sky Tiger.
Rob: Dude, I told you Sky Tiger was my nickname.
Andy: No one's Sky Tiger. I'm Sky Shark. There can't be two Skys.
Geoff: I was kinda thinking Thunder Shark.
Barry: No, bro, I'm the shark!

Quote from Barry

Erica: Dear God, you have been flipping knobs for five minutes. Just go already.
Barry: We ain't going anywhere until Tower clears us for take-off.
Erica: You're clear!

Quote from Barry

ROTC Co-ordinator: Morning, gentlemen. Interested in joining up with ROTC? I need able-bodied leaders with fire in their bellies looking to make a difference.
Barry: That's so weird. I'm an able-bodied person with a fiery belly who's ready to fly your jets and push your envelopes, and play shirtless beach volleyball.
ROTC Co-ordinator: What?
Barry: It's proven to be a nice diversion from the pressures of flight school.
ROTC Co-ordinator: What's your name, son?
Barry: Barry Norman Goldberg. Nickname not yet decided. You'll be amazed by our strength and determination, sir.

Quote from Erica

Erica: Oh my God, Pops actually bought a place in Florida?
Adam: Right, it's a nightmare.
Erica: Hello! We're gonna have our own beach condo. Think of all the spring breaks, the Latin guys, the romantic walks on the beach with the Latin guys.
Adam: Why do I come to you?

Quote from Barry

Barry: Shut up. Everyone shut up, I've got Barry news.
Beverly: Everybody stop talking.

Quote from Barry

Murray: And one more thing, if you do this, there's no quitting. I mean it.
Barry: 10-4, good buddy.
Murray: That's trucker talk.
Barry: Aye-aye, matey.
Murray: That's pirate.
Barry: Hmm.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Barry Norman Goldberg, reporting for duty.
ROTC Co-ordinator: Son, I told you three times. I know you're here.

Quote from Barry

ROTC Co-ordinator: Enough! Instead of nicknames, how about this? Give me twenty push-ups.
Barry: If my body's already in peak physical condition, can I pass and practice instead?
ROTC Co-ordinator: Practice what?
Barry: Volleyball.
Geoff: You know, for when we go to the beach and flex our young, glistening bodies.
Barry: I'm kinda body-concious so I'm not going to pop off my t-shirt at the beach, if that's cool.
Rob: He's got an outie.
Barry: Sshhh.

Quote from Beverly

Barry: Dad won't let me quit, but Captain Wallace is super demanding and angry. He called me worthless!
Beverly: Are you [beep] kidding me?
Barry: I know, right.
Beverly: Worthless? Well, obviously he's never seen you ride a tandem bicycle with your mother.
Barry: I was doing most of the peddling.
Beverly: Are you sure he called you worthless? Maybe he called you wonderful.
Barry: No.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: According to the school handbook, any parent is permitted on school grounds to tend to the wellbeing of their child. That gives me the legal right to be my son's wing-mom.
ROTC Co-ordinator: Beverly: Wing-mom.
ROTC Co-ordinator: Beverly: Oh, it is.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: You can't go on a secret mission. They won't let you call home. And they don't know what kind of cheese binds you up.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Don't worry, snuggie boo. I'll get you out. Now, drop and give me twenty ... huggies!

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: What is it, snuggle monster?
Barry: I joined the military. Boom!
Beverly: What's that now?

Quote from Beverly

Barry: I just need you to sign this permission slip.
Beverly: Absolutely not. Being a soldier is number one on my list of jobs too dangerous for my children.

Quote from Beverly

Barry: This is nuts. Pops was in the army.
Beverly: And he is a hero. Couldn't be prouder of him.
Barry: But I want to be a hero.
Beverly: And you can be as an orthodontist. Or a Maitre'D. Or as one of those guys who tests pillows for softness.

Quote from Pops

Pops: Where you going?
Adam: To my other grandpa. The one who'd never leave me.
Pops: Pop-Pop? You really want to replace me with that spiteful old bastard?

Quote from Pops

Pops: Who is this Frankie and why does he want me to relax?


 Episode 308 Episode 310 
  Select another episode