Dave Kim Quotes Page 1 of 4

Quote from Have a Summer

Principal Ball: I call your name, and then you go up and get the piece of paper. But no showboating, no speeches, and no doing the worm, Dave Kim. I am onto you.
Dave Kim: This is America, man.


Quote from Goldbergs Never Say Die

Dave Kim: Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop. Question. Which Goonie am I?
Adam: Oh, yeah, Dave Kim. Good question. Who's left? Let's see. Hmm, tough call. Well, Brand is taken, so-
Dave Kim: You wanted me to be Data.
Adam: What? No. I just invited all of my closest friends over to hang out.
Dave Kim: You've literally never invited me over before.
Adam: So you don't think we're friends. That really stings, Dave Kim really stings. But since you're here, you might as well wear this elaborate gadget and trench coat.

Quote from Hersheypark

Dave Kim: Well, I told my mom, "No more! Dave Kim is a grown-up who doesn't need his mommy on some field trip! Now sign my permission slip and lay out my clothes!"

Quote from Double Dare

Dave Kim: Bro, you don't have a prayer.
Adam: Shut up, Dave Kim. This face was made for TV.
Dave Kim: But that voice, youch. You two can't compete with Handsome Ben.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] He was right. We all had one growing up, the vicious rival who always won.
Dave Kim: Who always beats you out for class president?
Adam: Handsome Ben.
Dave Kim: And who always gets the lead in the musical?
Adam: Handsome Ben.
Dave Kim: Who was first in line to see "Temple of Doom"?
Adam: Handsome Ben.
Dave Kim: You had to sit in the second row, like a chump.

Quote from Double Dare

Dave Kim: Well, looks like you're gonna need a new partner.
Handsome Ben: For sure. Hey, Amy, be my partner?
Amy: Definitely. You're handsome.
Dave Kim: Dave Kim always a bridesmaid.

Quote from The Pina Colada Episode

Dan: Gym is pointless, and so is Mellor.
Dave Kim: All he does is push us out of our comfort zone. The zone I love being in!

Quote from Fiddler

Dave Kim: Dude, I got Lazar Wolf, the handsome town stud. That's typecasting Dave Kim likes.

Quote from Sixteen Candles

Dave Kim: We're gonna relive all of the classic "Sixteen Candles" party moments.
Emmy Mirsky: Like what?
Dave Kim: I'm talking beer-can pyramid. Pizza on the record player. Irreparable house damage! Somehow, foam gets in your vents. Toilet paper trees. And, obviously, a dweeb will be imprisoned in your glass coffee table.
Adam: But what about Long Duk Dong?
Dave Kim: No! There will be no discussion of the Donger.
Adam: I'm trying to-
Dave Kim: Say he's hilarious? Well, he's not.
Adam: Get off your totally warranted soapbox, Dave Kim. I'm trying to say I'm in.

Quote from So Swayze It's Crazy

Murray: You're my son's friend, right?
Dave Kim: Uh, yes.
Murray: And you've been in love with Erica for a long time?
Emmy Mirsky: Like, forever.
Murray: She finally loves you back. Mazel Tov.
Emmy Mirsky: Did that just happen?
Dave Kim: Don't question it. Everything's coming up Dave Kim.

Quote from Recipe for Death II: Kiss the Cook

Adam: This is my big ticket to get him to finally pony up some dough for a homemade action movie.
Dave Kim: Dude, when are you gonna learn?
Adam: What?
Dave Kim: It's like every week you go to your dad and ask him to support one of your insanely geeky hobbies.
Adam: [scoffs] Name one.
Dave Kim: Robots, swords, video games, Space Camp, D&D, Magic, Fraggles, a new computer so you could "Weird Science" up a hot girl.
Adam: I live a rich life, Dave Kim! But this time's gonna be different 'cause for the first time, we love the same thing. He can't say no.
Dave Kim: And yet, I think he'll find a way.

Quote from Have a Summer

Dave Kim: No! Wait! No showers! My turtlenecks shrink when they get we-e-t!

Quote from Have a Summer

Dave Kim: No! This is my graduation turtleneck!

Quote from Globetrotters

Naked Rob: One drop touches me and you're dead.
Dave Kim: Yes, Mr. Naked, sir.
Naked Rob: Now pour it on yourself. Do it.
Taz: Dear Lord!
Dave Kim: My beautiful hair!
Pops: Have some pride, Dave Kim.
Dave Kim: This is so demeaning.

Quote from MTV Spring Break

Geoff: I'll go get Erica.
Adam: She's in Florida on Spring Break.
Geoff: Wait, my girlfriend went to MTV Spring Break and didn't even tell me?
Dave Kim: Sounds like trouble in paradise. Dave Kim smells a door opening.
Geoff: What?
Dave Kim: I'm not gonna hide my feelings, bro. I'm actively rooting against you.

Quote from I Lost on Jeopardy

Adam: Gah!
Dave Kim: Chill, bro. It's me, Dave Kim. I'm the new mascot.
Adam: Since when, Dave Kim?
Carla: Since me.
Dave Kim: My girlfriend's super into it.
Carla: I got a thing for older men with giant heads.
Dave Kim: I can't feel anything, but I feel something great is happening.

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