Dave Kim Quotes Page 1 of 13    

Quote from The Strangest Affair of All Time

Dave Kim: "Reasons Not To Live With DK." Unbelievable!
Adam: Well, you don't know. [chuckles] "DK" could stand for Donna Karan. Or Donkey Kong.
Dave Kim: Turtlenecks! Bowl cut! My profound sleep apnea?! Only you and Dave Kim's mom know about that!
Erica: So we're trying to help our little brother not be a social disaster before he even starts college. It's not personal. Sorta.
Dave Kim: [scoffs, chuckles] You're gonna go there? Because you're just a married lady who can't sing. Drop out of another school, why don't you?! Because your best years are behind you!
Erica: Whoa!
Barry: Ha! He got you bad.
Dave Kim: And you. With your stupid fingers and gross shirts and fake bravado masking colossal insecurity. You're a buffoon who can't rap, runs weird, and no one likes you!
Barry: What are these words?!
Adam: Let's just take a beat.
Dave Kim: You're the worst of all. 'Cause you listened to them. Unum-dip-shnee-[whistles]-vici-ate-you-hay.
Erica: What'd he say?
Adam: Horrible, horrible things.
Barry: [after writing "Mean!" on the chalkboard] Mean.


Quote from Have a Summer

Principal Ball: I call your name, and then you go up and get the piece of paper. But no showboating, no speeches, and no doing the worm, Dave Kim. I am onto you.
Dave Kim: This is America, man.

Quote from Goldbergs Never Say Die

Dave Kim: Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop. Question. Which Goonie am I?
Adam: Oh, yeah, Dave Kim. Good question. Who's left? Let's see. Hmm, tough call. Well, Brand is taken, so-
Dave Kim: You wanted me to be Data.
Adam: What? No. I just invited all of my closest friends over to hang out.
Dave Kim: You've literally never invited me over before.
Adam: So you don't think we're friends. That really stings, Dave Kim really stings. But since you're here, you might as well wear this elaborate gadget and trench coat.

Quote from Double Dare

Dave Kim: Bro, you don't have a prayer.
Adam: Shut up, Dave Kim. This face was made for TV.
Dave Kim: But that voice, youch. You two can't compete with Handsome Ben.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] He was right. We all had one growing up, the vicious rival who always won.
Dave Kim: Who always beats you out for class president?
Adam: Handsome Ben.
Dave Kim: And who always gets the lead in the musical?
Adam: Handsome Ben.
Dave Kim: Who was first in line to see "Temple of Doom"?
Adam: Handsome Ben.
Dave Kim: You had to sit in the second row, like a chump.

Quote from Double Dare

Dave Kim: Well, looks like you're gonna need a new partner.
Handsome Ben: For sure. Hey, Amy, be my partner?
Amy: Definitely. You're handsome.
Dave Kim: Dave Kim always a bridesmaid.

Quote from Sixteen Candles

Dave Kim: We're gonna relive all of the classic "Sixteen Candles" party moments.
Emmy Mirsky: Like what?
Dave Kim: I'm talking beer-can pyramid. Pizza on the record player. Irreparable house damage! Somehow, foam gets in your vents. Toilet paper trees. And, obviously, a dweeb will be imprisoned in your glass coffee table.
Adam: But what about Long Duk Dong?
Dave Kim: No! There will be no discussion of the Donger.
Adam: I'm trying to-
Dave Kim: Say he's hilarious? Well, he's not.
Adam: Get off your totally warranted soapbox, Dave Kim. I'm trying to say I'm in.

Quote from Hersheypark

Dave Kim: Well, I told my mom, "No more! Dave Kim is a grown-up who doesn't need his mommy on some field trip! Now sign my permission slip and lay out my clothes!"

Quote from Fiddler

Dave Kim: Dude, I got Lazar Wolf, the handsome town stud. That's typecasting Dave Kim likes.

Quote from The Pina Colada Episode

Dan: Gym is pointless, and so is Mellor.
Dave Kim: All he does is push us out of our comfort zone. The zone I love being in!

Quote from Quaker Warden

Dave Kim: And how can a turtleneck be too risqué? I haven't seen my own neck in years!

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