Murray: Look at this garbage. You're cocky and overrated, Bears!
Barry: The team and the animal. You think I can't grab a trout from a stream? I can!

Guy: Look, we always appreciate donations, but we can't take these insane jackets.
Murray: Yeah, yeah, okay.
Guy: There's just so many of them, and it quickly became clear that we were gonna be stuck with them forever.
Murray: Yeah, that's a lot of information.
Guy: We have a few crazy bag ladies who will literally take anything off our hands. But in this case, the jackets just agitated them.
Murray: No need to go on.
Guy: We then dumped them in the alley, but all the stray cats instinctively attacked the jackets.
Murray: Now I got to be rude! [slams door]

Adam: Well, if there's one thing I know, it's that you can't just quit.
Barry: Dude, enough with your dumb sports movies.
Adam: This isn't from a movie. It's what I learned. Even if I don't ever get a chance to play, I can still help my team.
Barry: Like how you film the baseball games like a weird creep?
Adam: It's game film. It helps them improve.
Barry: Or like when the basketball rolls under the bleachers and you climb under to get it?
Adam: I fit in small spaces.
Barry: So even though you're an unbearable loser with no athletic ability and everyone talks about you behind your back, you still find a way to make a difference?
Adam: And you can, too. Also, what?

Murray: So, this QVC, it's a TV show?
Beverly: It's a whole channel.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] That's right. Before QVC.com was a world leader in online retail, they invented at-home shopping with their groundbreaking TV channel.
Beverly: People can shop from their home using just a phone and a credit card.
Murray: Who would do something like that?
Pops: Yes, I'm calling about the exciting shower radio.
Murray: Hang up my phone, Al!
Pops: But this amazing product allows me to listen to music while I'm wet!
Beverly: See, Murray, QVC is just regular people like me selling big ideas.
Pops: We're living in the future.

Beverly: Oh, my goodness. I can't believe I made all this money.
Murray: That's what happens when you sell out all of your jackets. Aren't I right, Al?
Pops: Rightaroo, Captain Choo Choo.
Murray: What the hell are you talking about?
Pops: I hate lying. Don't make me a part of this.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was February 28, 1980-something, the year of my mom's Bevolution, where she tried new things, like cutting my hair with a vacuum.
Adam: Oh, balls. Do you know what you're doing? I feel like you don't know what you're doing.
Beverly: That's the beauty of the Flowbee haircutting system. I don't have to know what I'm doing.
Adam: I prefer the old system, where we go to your salon and Chantal washes my hair, which feels way too good, and then I ask her to do it longer, but then it gets weird, and she stops.

Barry: I'm unconscious! I'm unconscious! I've been knocked unconscious!
Player: Um, Coach, Goldberg says he's unconscious even though he's talking.
Coach Mellor: You okay, Goldberg?
Barry: Just a little unconscious, Coach. Hey, just thought of something. Do you have any of those Fig Newtons? They always perk me back up. Lot of athletes don't know this, but the Newton is a power food.

Coach Mellor: 31 to nothing in the first half?! What a disgrace!
Ruben Amaro, Jr.: Coach, we're doing our best.
Coach Mellor: Save the excuses for Ruben Amaro Sr., Ruben Amaro Jr.!

Adam: What is the deal with these lyrics? Who says "kerfuffle" and calls out their own silky smooth skin?
Barry: When you got it, flaunt it.
Andy: It's true. It's almost buttery.
Adam: It's all very odd.

Murray: What the hell is this?
Beverly: I'm experimenting with my Flowbee. It only takes two minutes to go from drab to fab. Done.
Adam: That's it? Chantal usually hands me a mirror to look at the back and brushes the hair off my neck, leaning in ever so close to inspect her work.
Beverly: Please go.