Barry: How could I ever thank you in a way that doesn't include money or effort?
Virginia Kremp: I'll tell you what, Barry. You can repay me by working here until Charles gets back. I can offer you minimum wage.
Barry: I'll counter with maximum wage.
Virginia Kremp: No.
Barry: I'll take it.

Erica: This is a terrible idea. Why are you two helping her?
Adam: She's gonna tell Mr. Perott to give us a ride on the back of his motorcycle.
Geoff: I'm gonna feel the power of a thousand horses between my legs.
Erica: Please never say that again.

Geoff: Check me out. I'm all geared up to ride Mr. Perott's hog.
Erica: So much to process. Uh, I guess, first, is that my leather jacket?
Geoff: Yeah, and the gloves are my mom's pruning gloves. Bad boys borrow without asking.

Joanne: Adam and I were talking about how sweet you've been lately.
Adam: I didn't get it at first. I thought the cactus had a camera in it and you wanted to catch me doing something weird, like giving my ALF doll a back massage.
Joanne: No examples needed, Adam.
Adam: It's just for practice. Carmen likes to have her shoulders rubbed, and with that responsibility comes pressure.

Beverly: Okay, I'm deciding which sweater to wear on my date with Joe. Does this say romance to you?
Erica: It says "Run, I'm a dork."
Beverly: Poo! Ben, what do you think?
Pop-Pop: You got a brown sweater. I like brown. Well, I don't like brown. But I don't hate brown neither.
Beverly: Very helpful. Adam?
Adam: Mr. Perott's great. He once pulled me aside on the playground to explain I was confusing the words "dunking" and "boinking."
Beverly: There's a difference?
Adam: A big one. And it's that very knowledge that makes me want to have no part of this.
Erica: Who in their right mind would?

Geoff: Okay, so, I sorted these by color and word count. But I'm still partial to this number with the fun little forest scene. [chuckles] The muskrats are holding hands.
Erica: What the hell are you doing, dude?
Geoff: Oh, I'm the wardrobe consultant.
Erica: I see that. Take it off.

Beverly: [doorbell rings] Oh, great, he's here.
Erica: You need to change. Geoff, find anything.
Geoff: Uh, okay.
Adam: Oh, no! Carmen is here, too. And he has the pants!
Erica: Geoff, sweaters! Go! Go! Go!
Adam: There's a note pinned to them that says "In case Adam Goldberg has an emergency"!
Beverly: Okay, everybody stop panicking. [doorbell rings] The man has a hunger, a hunger for a steaming plate of Bev.
Adam: Now Carmen's examining the pants! And he's explaining them!
Erica: Just put anything on!
Adam: Her face is a horror show of emotions! I need to do something! [doorbell rings]
[Beverly is wearing a sweater which has "Slam Boink" printed and bedazzled on it next to a picture of a basketball about to dunk in the net]
Pop-Pop: [chuckles] "Slam Boink." You did it. I don't hate brown anymore.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Good thing he knew just where to get a last-minute gift that would fix everything, our neighbor, Virginia Kremp.
Barry: Stop what you're doing! I'll need a dozen roses for my bedroom associate.
Virginia Kremp: Ah, Joanne. I remember that morning years ago at the park when Lou looked away from the swing, how far she flew. And now she loves you. Anyhoo! Charles is away at a hydrangea convention. And since I'm the only one here, you're gonna have to wait.
Barry: Fine, I'll do it myself. [sighs] Argh! Thorns! More thorns!
Virginia Kremp: Stop! [gasps] Satan's hearth, why is your body giving off so much heat?
Barry: I run hot when I'm stressed out. The doctor says it's because I gestated for 50 weeks.
Virginia Kremp: We need to cool you off. Come with me.

Barry: [sighs in relief] This is nice.
Virginia Kremp: Yeah, I spent two days in there during the heat wave of '73.
Barry: I bet it'd be nice to be a flower.
Virginia Kremp: Hmm. Why is that?
Barry: Well, flowers don't worry about med school, rent, or forgetting to get a gift for their Sweet Drawers. That's Joanne.
Virginia Kremp: I gathered.
Barry: She also calls me Sweet Drawers.
Virginia Kremp: Well, you're not creative, but you like each other.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Meanwhile, my mom and Mr. Perott were on their first real date, which was off to a slow start.
Beverly: Big menu, huh?
Mr. Perott: It is, yeah.
Adult Adam: Despite their history of flirtation, my mom and Mr. Perott had already run out of things to say.
Beverly: The bathroom stalls were, like, super big, too. [chuckles]
Mr. Perott: Oh.
Beverly: And the... The seats were comfy, good height.
Mr. Perott: Uh-huh.
Adult Adam: Yep, she was really digging deep for anything.
Beverly: Were the men's room seats a good height?
Mr. Perott: I haven't, uh, sat yet.
Beverly: Maybe before dessert. That's when my dead husband liked to... sit.