‘The Day After the Day After’
Season 4, Episode 22 - Aired May 3, 2017
When Adam is invited to spend the weekend with Jackie at the beach and Erica is accepted to college in Georgia, they both try to manipulate Beverly on Mother's Day. Meanwhile, Barry is freaked out by the apocalyptic movie "The Day After".
Quote from Coach Mellor
Mr. Glascott: Okay, everyone, welcome to "The Day After" emergency assembly. First of all, I just want to assure you that everything is gonna be okay.
Coach Mellor: It will not be okay! There's nowhere to hide in a nuclear winter!
Mr. Glascott: Whoa. (chuckles) What Coach means is that there could be a nuclear winter, but it definitely won't happen.
Coach Mellor: Till it does.
Mr. Glascott: Does not, because it was just a movie.
Coach Mellor: That will, for sure, come true.
Mr. Glascott: Look, I know a lot of you are scared that the President is gonna snap, push a button, and incinerate us all, but I assure you, it will not happen.
Coach Mellor: When it does, I'll be safe and snug in my fallout shelter while the rest of you mutants scrounge for cockroaches.
Quote from Mr. Glascott
Coach Mellor: What, you got no argument for that one?
Mr. Glascott: No, you're right. That movie has shaken me to my core. I have so many regrets.
Coach Mellor: You got about a week to fix 'em, Andre.
Mr. Glascott: Well, let's start with that one right there. My name is not Andre. I only said it was in college to make myself seem more interesting to the ladies.
Coach Mellor: Let it out.
Mr. Glascott: My name is Jonathan. And I love you, Lunch Lady Bernice! Are you out there? You're probably mashing potatoes.
Quote from Barry
Murray: I told you you're not building a dopey bunker in the basement.
Barry: Thank you for keeping an open mind. I will also need money for the following items. "700 pounds of poured concrete, lifetime supply of potatoes, seven bottles of ketchup for the potatoes"
Murray: There's one in the fridge. Just take that and go.
Barry: There's more. We need, "a chicken, a cage for the chicken, medicine for the chicken, a chicken exercise-wheel, a lady chicken to keep the other chicken company."
Murray: Please stop asking me to build a life for this chicken!
Quote from Barry
Barry: I know you're all worried about a nuclear apocalypse after seeing that scary movie on TV, but I want you to know everything will be okay. I call it Barry's Bunker. Sadly, there's limited room in the bunker, so some of you will be left outside to melt or be eaten by post-apocalyptic zombies.
Lainey: So, who goes and who stays?
Barry: Obviously, you're in, 'cause you're my foxy lady, but the rest of you much prove your worth. Geoff Schwartz, what skills do you have?
Geoff: I know which berries are poisonous, 'cause I once ate some bad ones.
Barry: Super useful. Next, Naked Rob. What skills do you have? And don't say "being naked."
Naked Rob: Come back to me.
Barry: Andy, clearly you're in, 'cause you have tiny little fingers that are perfect for shelling nuts. Plus, you can sleep in a drawer.
Andy: Very insulted, but it's more important to live.
Barry: Matt Bradley, looks like you're in serious trouble here.
Matt: I was an Eagle Scout and a lifeguard, and I learned how to frame a house when I did Habitat for Humanity.
Barry: Fine, I guess you could cook or something.
Quote from Barry
Barry: Don't worry, guys. We won't have to deal with this joker when we're in our titanium-reinforced bunker.
Murray: You do know I raised myself since I was six, so if there's an end-of-the-world situation, you'd want me there real bad.
Barry: Yelling at a sandwich for having too much mustard on it is not a skill.
Murray: Well, I can repair a radio, rebuild an engine, swing a hammer, catch a fish, start a fire with small sticks. What can you do?
Barry: I can basically do anything. I can break-dance, kick a light switch on and off, use a hockey stick as an old-timey cane.
Lainey: Sweetie, those aren't really survival skills as much as they are adorable things I love about you.
Barry: Whatever. I'm your leader. That's my skill.
Quote from Murray
Geoff: It kind of seems like your dad's our leader, 'cause he's the oldest and wisest and actually knows how to survive.
Andy: It's settled. Your dad will keep us safe when the mutant zombies attack.
Quote from Pops
Pops: Did he say yes to the bunker?
Murray: I said no!
Pops: Did you tell him about the chicken?
Murray: I don't wanna hear about the chicken!
Pops: The chicken's the whole thing!
Murray: He doesn't care about the chicken!
Pops: Murray, just buy the boy a chicken.
Murray: No chicken!
Quote from Adam
Beverly: Oh, look at my special calendar hanging in a high-traffic area. How'd that get there?
Adam: That's odd. Didn't notice.
Beverly: You wanna take a peek, see if there's any special day in May that you need to remember?
Erica: Nah, I got Cinco de Mayo on lock.
Barry: I think she's talking about French Labor Day.
Adam: No, it's "Star Wars" Day! May the 4th be with you, right?
Erica: How could I forget.
Barry: That's right. I gotta go shopping.
Erica: I love "Star Wars" Day.
Quote from Naked Rob
Murray: What are you dummies going on about?
Matt: Tonight, they're airing a gnarly made-for-TV movie called "The Day After," where America's in a nuclear war with Russia.
Naked Rob: Jason Robards, y'all!
Barry: All of the teachers at school warned us not to see it, so we have to watch it to send a clear message of "Suck it."
Quote from Barry
Murray: If I say yes, will you shut up?
Barry: This is gonna rock!
Adult Adam: [v.o.] But it did not rock. Not at all.
Barry: This does not rock. Not at all.