Murray: Bevy, calm down, okay? Every time our kids leave the house, you assume that they're dead until they prove otherwise. Know that they're smart, responsible kids. Assume that they're alive.
Beverley: That's the stupidest thing you've ever said!

Beverly: And rule number ten, and this is the most important rule, call me when you get there. Always call me when you get there.
Barry: Why do I have to call you when I get there? I'm there. I know I'm there.
Beverly: But I don't know. For all I know, you could be stranded in the middle of nowhere, lying face down in a ditch.

Murray: You couldn't have been sitting up in a ditch? Or reclining comfortably in a ditch? No, you had to be face down, exactly like she said! And to think I told your mom you could be trusted, mostly 'cause I wanted to watch the game. But you know what? A small part of me actually thought, "Hey, he's not a complete moron."

Barry: Thanks for being so cool about this. I thought you'd be in the worst mood after the Phillies lost.
Murray: Get out. Lie down. I'm gonna run you over.

Adam: Pops? Pops!
Pops: Over here!
Adam: What happened?
Pops: I have fallen. And I cannot get up.

Erica: There's no phone here. It's the kegger in the woods. The woods!
Barry: Well, there's gotta be a house here somewhere. I mean, a lumberjack's camp. A ranger's station. A secret army base.
Erica: How deep in the woods do you think we are?

Beverly: Rule number seven - total focus on the road. No eating, no passengers, no music.
Barry: What?
Murray: No music!

Beverly: Rule number eight Doors must be locked and windows rolled up at all times.
Murray: All times!

Beverly: Which brings us to number nine, you only drive in safe areas.
That means stay within the green zone.
Barry: You got a map with plastic overlays? Who does that?
Beverly: I do.

Murray: Do the dishes, damn it!
Barry: Ditches, okay?! You're just blindly agreeing with her and have no idea what she's even talking about.