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27Quotes from ‘Call Me When You Get There’

The Goldbergs: Call Me When You Get There

107. Call Me When You Get There

Aired November 5, 2013

After Barry finally gets his driver's license, Beverly sets out her groundrules for driving, including the most important: "Call me when you get there!" When Erica gives Barry a lesson on how to get around Beverly's rules, Barry uses his newfound knowledge to attend a kegger in the woods. Meanwhile, Pops is insulted when Beverly gives him a Life Alert bracelet.

Quote from Beverly

Murray: Bevy, calm down, okay? Every time our kids leave the house, you assume that they're dead until they prove otherwise. Know that they're smart, responsible kids. Assume that they're alive.
Beverley: That's the stupidest thing you've ever said!

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Quote from Beverly

Beverly: And rule number ten, and this is the most important rule, call me when you get there. Always call me when you get there.
Barry: Why do I have to call you when I get there? I'm there. I know I'm there.
Beverly: But I don't know. For all I know, you could be stranded in the middle of nowhere, lying face down in a ditch.

Quote from Murray

Murray: You couldn't have been sitting up in a ditch? Or reclining comfortably in a ditch? No, you had to be face down, exactly like she said! And to think I told your mom you could be trusted, mostly 'cause I wanted to watch the game. But you know what? A small part of me actually thought, "Hey, he's not a complete moron."

Quote from Murray

Barry: Thanks for being so cool about this. I thought you'd be in the worst mood after the Phillies lost.
Murray: Get out. Lie down. I'm gonna run you over.

Quote from Pops

Adam: Pops? Pops!
Pops: Over here!
Adam: What happened?
Pops: I have fallen. And I cannot get up.

Quote from Barry

Erica: There's no phone here. It's the kegger in the woods. The woods!
Barry: Well, there's gotta be a house here somewhere. I mean, a lumberjack's camp. A ranger's station. A secret army base.
Erica: How deep in the woods do you think we are?

Quote from Murray

Beverly: Rule number seven - total focus on the road. No eating, no passengers, no music.
Barry: What?
Murray: No music!

Quote from Murray

Beverly: Rule number eight Doors must be locked and windows rolled up at all times.
Murray: All times!

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Which brings us to number nine, you only drive in safe areas.
That means stay within the green zone.
Barry: You got a map with plastic overlays? Who does that?
Beverly: I do.

Quote from Murray

Murray: Do the dishes, damn it!
Barry: Ditches, okay?! You're just blindly agreeing with her and have no idea what she's even talking about.

Quote from Murray

Murray: I'm tired of coming to you for this every single time I work late. All right? Gotta do it myself. Teach a man to fish. You ever heard that saying?
Adam: You promised to teach me to fish two birthdays ago!
Murray: Stop aggravating me! This is important! The Phillies are in the world series! It might be another century before this happens again.

Quote from Murray

Murray: Hey, just give me the remote. Give me the remote.
Adam: Here.
Murray: Let me do this. The hell? It's covered in buttons. Covered!

Quote from Adam

Pops: I can only stay a few minutes. I got a date with one of the sisters. Which one again?
Adam: Miriam.
Pops: She's the sexy one, right?
Adam: I don't know. I don't see what you see.

Quote from Murray

Beverly: So you're just gonna sit here and watch a baseball game when our son might be laying facedown in a ditch somewhere.
Murray: Might be. But might not be.

Quote from Murray

Beverly: How do you sleep at night?
Murray: Not as good as I do during the day, but not bad.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Yes, I'm calling to see if my son might have been brought into your emergency room earlier tonight. Uh, he is 5'8", dark hair, fair skin, beautiful brown eyes. Oh, he was just the sweetest little baby you've ever seen.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: He's not in the emergency room, or the police station, or the roller rink, or the batting cages, or any of the four ice cream shops in the green zone. And I have failed as a mother.
Murray: You're good at other things.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: What is wrong with you? Why aren't you worried? He's out there. He could be injured or cold or hungry. What if he has to make? He doesn't use public bathrooms!

Quote from Murray

Murray: Excuse me, officer. Did you see a high school kid driving around here? Curly hair, kind of lumpy?

Quote from Pops

Pops: Easy. Little more. Whoa!
Adam: Pull your robe down.
Pops: It's a kimono.
Adam: Pull your kimono down.
Pops: It's designed to be showy.
Adam: Well, it's working.
Pops: Just don't look down!
Adam: What did I just see? It was like a Robin's nest!
Pops: It's an unflattering angle.
Adam: What's going on down there?
Pops: Stop looking down and get me to the couch already!

Quote from Barry

Barry: Only some of this happened 'cause I'm a complete moron. The rest is 'cause of mom's stupid rules.

Quote from Murray

Murray: I almost died when I saw your jacket in the road.
Barry: You worry about me, too?
Murray: Oh, don't put words in my mouth. Of course I do.

Quote from Murray

Murray: Your mom can't know anything about this.
Barry: What? You're gonna lie to mom?
Murray: Absolutely! She finds out about this, you're not gonna be allowed to leave the house until you're 40, and then my life is ruined, too!
Barry: Nice! I'm off the hook, then.
Murray: You are so grounded. Secretly, though. You will choose to stay in every weekend for the next three months. And for the love of God, when I do let you back out in the world, you will call me when you get there.

Quote from Pops

Beverly: Dad, you live alone. What happens if you fall and you can't get up?
Pops: In my whole life, I've never once tripped, slipped, or fallen.
Adam: Yeah! This is an insult! I'm rock solid.
Pops: Go ahead, sock me in the kidney. Do it.
Adam: Go ahead, Mom. Hit Grandpa.
Pops: Do it.
Beverly: I'm not punching you in the kidney, Dad.

Quote from Pops

Pops: Are you kidding me? Why don't you get me a sweatshirt which says "I'm old" and send me out to the duck pond to feed the ducks?


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