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Season 9, Episode 18 -  Aired April 13, 2022

Adam is horrified when Beverly becomes his physical education teacher. Meanwhile, Barry and Geoff apply for the same medical internship.

Quote from Adam

Adam: Adam: Wow. You look like Alyssa Milano in Teen Steam. I only know that because Barry rented it. We watched it in dead silence and went our separate ways.
Brea: Ignoring all that. Your mom is teaching during lunch since the other class filled up.
Adam: Neat. Now none of my peers have to miss out on watching her glisten like Kathleen Turner in the erotic thriller Body Heat. Barry rented that, too.


Quote from Mr. Glascott

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Back in the '80s, everyone was getting physical. Walks were powered, bodies were Jaked, and Richard Simmons made sure oldies were sweated to. No one liked moving their body more than my mom.
Beverly: [gasps] Thank you, Richard Simmons. Your naggy nudginess continues to challenge and inspire.
Mr. Glascott: Is it weird that it's his job to constantly work out, but yet his body looks like mine after Thanksgiving?
Beverly: He is ripped and shredded with enthusiasm.
Mr. Glascott: You're just defending him because you share the same tank-top glitter-er.
Beverly: I wish. All my sparkle comes from these hands.
Mr. Glascott: And that smile. [chuckles] I have an adult friend!

Quote from Mr. Glascott

Adam: Who's ready for the best news in the world?
Mr. Glascott: Did Giuseppe's change their policy and are now accepting parties of one? New Year's Eve, here I come.
Adam: No, and wow.

Quote from Geoff

Geoff: There's my bro!
Barry: There's my bro!
Geoff: Isn't it so cool now that I'm married to your sister, when I call you "bro," it's, like, a fact?
Barry: Totally! I used to toss around "bro" like it meant nothing. Like when someone gets mad at you for cutting them off in traffic, "Enh! The hell, bro?"
Geoff: Or like when it's a guy you kinda know, even slept at his house once as a kid, but you can't remember if his name is Greg or Craig? "Hey, bro!"
Barry: No more. I hereby declare "bro" a sacred term reserved for our special brotherhood.
Geoff: And I will always honor that, bro. Unless I run into Greg/Craig. His dad lent me boxers to sleep in once. I remember his name was Dwayne.
Barry: I'd love to keep bro'ing it up, but I got a thing.
Geoff: I got a thing, too, bro! Bro you later?
Barry: Later, bro.

Quote from Erica

[cuts back and forth between Barry talking to Joanne and Geoff talking to Erica:]
Barry: If I won, it'd be like the pudding incident all over again.
Geoff: We were freshmen. There was one pudding left in the cafeteria, and we both reached for it at the same time, and, knowing how he'd react, I let him have it.
Barry: I took what was mine. With an air of emotional and physical recklessness that he couldn't deal with.
Joanne: Oh, baby, no one can.
Geoff: He then accuses me of being selfish 'cause I brought my lunch and he forgot his. He didn't talk to me for days.
Erica: Lunch has always been Barry's favorite meal. Right after breakfast, dinner, and something he calls "midnight madness."

Quote from Mr. Glascott

Adult Adam: [v.o.] As Geoff and Barry made their minds up about the summer internship, my mom was determined not to take the cancellation of P.E. sitting down.
Beverly: How could you, Earl? This isn't some silly thing that they're never gonna use like Spanish. This is physical education!
Mr. Glascott: [runs in] Oh. A meeting with a concerned parent. Was this on the books or impromptu? Either way, I'm here. We can begin.
Principal Ball: We've already begun. Mrs. Goldberg wants us to rethink the decision to pull the plug on P.E.
Mr. Glascott: I'll handle this. Beverly, I'm so sorry. Our personal relationship notwithstanding, that ain't gon' happen. [chuckles] See, you can delegate to me. A-And she's twisting my arm! Literally!

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Earl, as Quaker Warden, I feel a sense of responsibility to send these kids out into the world with healthy habits for life.
Principal Ball: That's all great and weird, but we got no P.E. teacher here.
Beverly: Then I will personally teach an exercise class.
Principal Ball: You?
Mr. Glascott: I was gonna say, "You?"
Beverly: Based on my relentless input, Aubrey, who teaches over at Jenkintown Shape 'n' Sculpt, has often asked, "Uh, Beverly, would you like to lead the class?"

Quote from Dave Kim

Adult Adam: [v.o.] The only problem was, my mom had no idea just how lazy we'd become.
Adam: I never thought P.E. was a class I'd actually look forward to.
Dave Kim: I know. I finally found a good use for a badminton racket. [scratches back] Ahh. This is why we take the field.

Quote from Barry

Adult Adam: [v.o.] While my mom wasn't gonna go down without a fight, Geoff was prepared to give up his internship to his number-one bro.
Geoff: Yo, Brobi-Wan Kenobi.
Barry: My man Dominique Bro-ilkins.
Geoff: Some work better than others.

Quote from Barry

Geoff: So, look, I've been thinking. About that internship with Dr. Solit? I don't think I'm gonna do it.
Barry: Me neither.
Geoff: You've got to. You're a shoo-in.
Barry: If anyone's shoes are in, it's you.
Geoff: That's not the expression.

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