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29Quotes from ‘Mama Drama’

The Goldbergs: Mama Drama

202. Mama Drama

Aired October 1, 2014

Adam's dream of being the lead in the school's production of "Jesus Christ Superstar" is quashed when he's cast as Todd the Apostle. Believing her son is lead star material, Beverly helps Adam be the lead in his own rival production, but the fame goes to his head and leaves Beverly with a difficult decision to make. Meanwhile, when Murray's hatred of traffic leads to him and Barry missing a historic hockey goal, Barry refuses to go to any more hockey matches with his dad.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Are you crying?
Adam: No.
Beverly: Who hurt you? Tell me and I will hurt them tenfold.

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Quote from Adam

Beverly: I'm gonna ask you a question which you need to answer with complete honesty. Is there a world in which you are not the deserving child for this role?
Adam: There's no such world.
Beverly: Honey, I can get involved. I want to get involved. But I need to know that's what you want.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Usually when my mother wanted to mix in, I'd push her away as far away as possible. This was not one of those times.
Adam: Do it, mama. Make me Jesus.

Quote from Murray

Murray: Green light, people! Green light! Why aren't you moving? Son of a [beep]! You're letting him in?! He's part of a funeral! That could be a hundred cars! What kind of crossing guard crosses one kid at a time?! You got to group 'em and herd 'em!

Quote from Murray

Murray: Come on! Green light, people! Green light! One car went through! One car! Move it, lady! What are you, Sally Field?! Put your makeup on at home! Oh, there's a baby on board?! I'll tell you what, there's a moron on board! Moron! Son of a [beep]. Car full of morons!

Quote from Murray

Murray: You're gonna make a thing out of this?
Barry: You made me miss the greatest moment of my life! And for what? Traffic!
Murray: It isn't that bad! Stop right there! You should be thanking me.
Barry: Thanking you? For what?
Murray: You don't know the traffic that I've seen. Miles of cars lined up for hours, horns blaring.
Barry: I know what traffic is!
Murray: Grown men with their shirts off walking around 'cause it's so damn hot! And A/C's not meant to run that long. It's not!

Quote from Barry

Barry: It's hockey season! It's cold outside! No one gets shirtless!

Quote from Beverly

Miss Cinamon: Look, I am sorry. Adam is very enthusiastic, and he works so hard. He's just not as skilled as like, say, Dave Kim.
Beverly: If I may, I just have one question. Are you [beep] kidding me?

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Boopie, I've heard you sing in the shower, m'kay? Not just heard, listened. Not just listened, taped. And sent to Star Search. I gotta call them back, I haven't heard from Ed McMahon. I'll just drop him a line and see what's up.

Quote from Adam

Adam: This putz? You made this putz Jesus? Unreal!

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Well that's on you. You wouldn't know a good Jesus if he came in here and punched you in the face.

Quote from Erica

Erica: Sorry I quit the play, but in my defense it's a turd on wheels.

Quote from Beverly

Adam: I know every part. The question is, which one do I audition for?
Beverly: There is only one role suitable for my talented, delicious little boy. My baby is Jesus.

Quote from Adam

Adam: Miss Cinoman! I think there's been some kind of mistake because I'm pretty familiar with the musical, and there is no Todd the Apostle.
Ms. Cinoman: Oh, there's no Darnell the apostle, either.
Ms. Cinoman: But there was such a large turnout, I took the liberty of expanding Jesus' followers, from 12 to 30.
Adam: 30? You can't fit that many people at the last supper.
Ms. Cinoman: Oh, yeah, there's gonna be another, smaller table off to the side.
Adam: I'm at the kids' table at the last supper?!
Ms. Cinoman: I'm sorry. There was a lot of competition this year. Remember there are no small parts, only small actors.
Adam: But there are small parts! Very small! Like Todd!

Quote from Murray

Murray: Twenty-nine minutes, door to door. A brand new record.

Quote from Murray

Murray: If I could, I'd go back in time and do it all over again. As a matter of fact, I'd leave earlier!
Barry: That's what you'd do with a time machine? You'd go back and miss traffic? You wouldn't help people?! Save President Lincoln?
Murray: Oh, I'd help Abe. I'd go to the theater, I'd say, "Hey, man, you ought to leave early tonight. Traffic's horrible, trust me." Boom, just saved his life!

Quote from Beverly

Principal Ball: Okay. I'm glad to see that we're all calm now. Some ugly things were said. And done. Mostly by Mrs. Goldberg.

Quote from Pops

Murray: Gimme the remote.
Pops: What? I thought you had it.
Murray: I just came in the door! Why would I have a remote?
Pops: I don't know. I figured you took it to work.
Murray: Why would I take the remote to work?
Pops: Who the hell knows? You're a quirky guy.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Tell me something, Earl. Uh, how's your wife?
Principal Ball: She's fine.
Beverly: Lovely woman. Pam, is it? Remind me again how you two got together.
Principal Ball: Well, you knew her from jazzercize class. You introduced us.
Beverly: Did I, now? Oh. And how was the wedding?
Principal Ball: You were at the wedding. You made a speech, even though nobody asked you to.
Beverly: Well, from what I remember, that was the night you said, "How can I ever repay you?" And I said, "One day, I will come to you, and I will ask you for a favor. And you said, "But of course, Beverly. But of course." That day is today.

Quote from Adam

Adam: I can't believe I'm doing a rival play! Now the question is, what's our show? It's got to be big bigger than Jesus.
Beverly: Music Man?
Adam: Yawn.
Beverly: Guys and Dolls?
Adam: Seen it.
Beverly: Phantom?
Adam: You want to cover half of this face?

Quote from Erica

Beverly: Hello, daughter. Have a seat. I just happened to be digging around in your closet, and guess what I found. Three beers, a fake ID, and sick notes for school that I don't remember writing.
Erica: There is a simple explanation for all of that. I just need half an hour to collect my thoughts.

Quote from Murray

Murray: You're crowding me. Come on, man. Your your jacket's puffing into my side.
Pops: So what? It's cold as hell in here. You think you can get them to turn the heat on?
Murray: No! There's a huge block of ice out there.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: How did my sweet, little boy turn into such a monster?
Erica: You shifted the world so it entirely revolves around him.
Beverly: Of course! It's what I do! But usually someone steps in and stops me.

Quote from Murray

Murray: Hey.
Barry: Busy.
Murray: Too busy for the greatest rivalry in the history of hockey?
Barry: The Flyers-Rangers game? No way! Still not interested.
Murray: What if we stay till the end?
Barry: And get stuck in traffic? Why would you ever do that?
Murray: I miss you.
Barry: Say it again.
Murray: No.
Barry: You love me more than you hate traffic, say it!
Murray: You're a moron.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: I love you, Todd the apostle!


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