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35Quotes from ‘A Kick-Ass Risky Business Party’

The Goldbergs: A Kick-Ass Risky Business Party

301. A Kick-Ass Risky Business Party

Aired September 23, 2015

Lainey, Erica and Barry plan a big "Risky Business" inspired party at her home, just like the movie, while Lainey's dad is out of town. Later, when the party gets out of control, Beverly jumps to the rescue and Lainey is happy to have a mother figure like Beverly in her life, but for how long? Meanwhile, Adam's relationship with Dana by talking to her for hours on the phone angers Murray. As a result, Adam tries a bunch of new ways to contact her since she's moved away.

Quote from Barry

Barry: What happened? What did she do? I'm so angry even though I don't have any of the information.

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Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Do not be fooled by my sweater. I am not flappy. I'm very flangry.

Quote from Barry

Erica: Stop right there. I told you. I don't need or want your help.
Barry: Please, take up tennis. Have a leisurely lunch with a friend. Just let us be.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: So then you're gonna say to yourself, that's too much cheese. But you know what? It's never too much cheese.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: I have failed as a mother and as a temporary mother.

Quote from Mr. Glascott

Mr. Glascott: I've been in a long distance relationship for the past seven years.
Murray: Really?
Mr. Glascott: Ellen lives in Tampa. And I'm lucky, too, because Ellen has a male roommate to keep an eye on her when we're apart.
Murray: She lives with a guy?
Mr. Glascott: Yeah, Todd. He's a life guard, so he can totally give her CPR if she ever gets in any trouble. He's a real stud. I mean, does he even own a shirt?
Adam: See, Dad, it can work.
Murray: Kid, pay attention. This might be helpful to you. This long distance girlfriend you got. You see her much?
Mr. Glascott: Well, not since she went to Paris. And of course Todd tagged along, since he speaks French. He's a good egg.
Murray: It sounds like she's with this Todd guy.
Mr. Glascott: No, no, no. She's taking his last name for insurance purposes. Point is, long distance can work.
Adam: I wanna believe you, but your story has some holes.

Quote from Barry

Beverly: What did I tell you about Tom Cruising the floor? It's incredibly risky.
Barry: Risky. That's the point.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Sweet Rebecca De Mornay, it's happening. We're gonna throw a real-life Kick-Ass Risky Business Party.

Quote from Barry

Beverly: She's hot-rodding, failing her classes, spending time with shady friends-
Erica: Hey!
Beverly: - and showing questionable taste in boys.
Barry: That's fair.

Quote from Lainey

Lainey: Maybe this is all a blessing in disguise. I really could use some of your amazing mom wisdom, Mrs. G. I mean, I've always admired you and your store-bought sweaters.
Beverly: Oh no, I made this myself.
Lainey: What? You should be a business owner and a millionaire by now.
Beverly: See, this makes me very flappy. You two learn from her.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: We're going to have so much fun. I'm going to show you how to make my famous shrimp parm. Have you heard of it? Of course you have, it's famous.
Lainey: Yum!

Quote from Lainey

Beverly: Oh, snuggle monkeys, I'm not here for you. I'm here for Lainey.
Lainey: Me?

Quote from Beverly

Principal Ball: No, no. You see, you can't just walk in here, demanding excellence for other students. That's not how school works. You can only parent your own child.
Beverly: Oh, I'll parent every damn child in this school if I have to. Hell, I'll even parent you.

Quote from Barry

Barry: All I wanted was a kick-ass Risky Business party and a free pass to Princeton. Was that too much to ask?

Quote from Erica

Beverly: It's so surprising and unsettling to hear that you've had a boyfriend all this time, and none of us knew about it. Say, what was his name?
Erica: His name?
Beverly: Uh-huh.
Erica: His name was, uh, Shrimpson.
Beverly: Shrimpson?
Erica: It's Dutch!

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Lainey! Lainey! Come to temporary mommy.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: I know I told you to never Tom Cruise a floor, but sometimes you just got to say, what the [beep].

Quote from Murray

Murray: How about if I let you call her again?
Adam: Wait, seriously?
Murray: Ten minutes a night. Would that work?
Adam: Really?
Murray: Ten minutes. Not a second more. I mean it. I've got a stopwatch in the drawer.

Quote from Pops

Pops: You're a smart kid. Find a creative way to connect with her. You know, I once dated a Filipino woman via telegram.
Adam: Really?
Pops: 'course Western Union had to shut us down as Malak could get very filthy in just three sentences.

Quote from Mr. Glascott

Mr. Glascott: Oh, hell no. This is the teacher's lounge. This place is sacred. So help me God, you are in so much trouble. Ooh, someone took a tab from my flyer for guitar lessons. Wow. You are so lucky this day has turned around for me. Oh no, wait a minute. I forgot. I did it myself to get the ball rolling. Damn it. You are in so much trouble again.


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