Beverly: Your finances are a mess.
Pops: Oh, please.
Beverly: You're late paying your bills, you've been forgetting to cash your checks, and you've made some very questionable investments.
Pops: I believe in that alpaca farm. The alpaca is the dog of the future.

Barry: Mom, leave him alone. A handsome sixty-year-old has the right to do whatever he wants.
Pops: You think I'm 60? Get over here.
Beverly: And stop giving cash to the kids every time they lie to you about your age.
Murray: Bevy, leave the man alone. He's doing damn good for a 40-year-old.
Pops: This guy!

Adam: I, of course, will be Mikey, leader of the Goonies. *Uses inhaler* That was both in reference to my character, also to help my seasonal allergies.

Dave Kim: Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop. Question. Which Goonie am I?
Adam: Oh, yeah, Dave Kim. Good question. Who's left? Let's see. Hmm, tough call. Well, Brand is taken, so-
Dave Kim: You wanted me to be Data.
Adam: What? No. I just invited all of my closest friends over to hang out.
Dave Kim: You've literally never invited me over before.
Adam: So you don't think we're friends. That really stings, Dave Kim really stings. But since you're here, you might as well wear this elaborate gadget and trench coat.

Barry: Why would Christian Slater change his last name to Goldberg?

Murray: Albert, you're not going to win, so let's end this and get your finances in order. Let me help you. Here, I even made you a budget.
Pops: This is a cruel joke, right? $200 a month for clothes? Are you nuts?
Murray: It's more than enough.
Pops: I wear silk. It costs me a fortune. Little worms make it. Little worms make my clothes!
Murray: Well, then don't wear silk.
Pops: You're lucky I don't punch you in the face right now.

Murray: Fine, $300 for clothes, but it's coming out of your food budget.
Pops: No way. It's already unreasonably low. How can I buy waffles for an entire restaurant on $400?
Murray: You can't.
Pops: Selfish son of a bitch.

Beverly: So where's mom's good jewelry? It was all in there.
Pops: I gave it to you.
Beverly: No, you didn't.
Pops: I clearly remember handing it directly to you. You had a colorful sweater and big hair, and you were on your way to tell somebody how to run their life.
Beverly: Okay, now you're just describing me on any given day.
Pops: So you remember it, too.

Murray: Okay, fine $500 for food, but I am not budging on entertainment.
Pops: You only have me budgeted for three massages a week. It's insanity. Do you know why this skin is like butter? 'Cause it's rubbed with butter. A woman named Rhoda comes to my house and rubs butter on me. Now, do you want to deprive me and her of that experience?
Murray: Yes.

Murray: What's this?
Pops: It's a little thank-you in advance for helping me do my budget and pay my bills and two years of back taxes. It's a bit of a cluster[beep].
Murray: Yes.
Pops: But I require no less than four massages a week. I'm not an animal.