Barry: It was early December. I was on my way to watch the Flyers play the Devils in New Jersey.
Murray: Stop! There's no cheesesteak story that ends in Jersey.
Barry: But there is. I took the wrong off-ramp and got lost. As night fell, I grew desperate and hungry. And then, like a cheesy beacon of hope, I saw a lone sandwich shop glowing in the darkness.
Murray: Stop. Just tell us the name of the sandwich shop already.
Barry: That's the thing. I was so overwhelmed by the flavor that I didn't get a chance to look up from my poppy-seed kaiser roll to get a name.
Pops: Poppy-seed kaiser roll on a cheesesteak? It can't be done!
Barry: Oh, they did it. It was the poppiest of rolls, combined with the whizziest of cheeses. It was like eating the sweet butt meat of an angel in- Hey! I'm still talkin'! I didn't finish my awesome true story!

Barry: Mmm, oh, yeah. That's the good stuff I remember.
Murray: I got to admit not bad.
Barry: Unh, it's got a little heat to it.
Murray: Whoa! Coming on kinda strong.
Barry: It's fighting back pretty hard.
Murray: Oh, that's a spicy punch to the mouth. The biting is relentless! What the hell did you put on this thing?!
Barry: Something called "Donkey Kick Sauce." It was in the condiment section, but sounded special, so I smeared it all over.
Crusty Old Man: He chose poorly.
Murray: What the [bleep] is wrong with that guy?
Barry: No idea!

Barry: Admit it it's the best, right?
Murray: You know what? Leaving those keys behind may be the smartest thing you've ever done.
Crusty Old Man: You chose wisely.
Barry: What is his deal?

Beverly: Look what I found and immediately read.
Adam: Oh, my Indy script? How'd you get this? I hid it under my mattress and sleeping body.
Beverly: Well, you may not know this, 'cause you're a very deep sleeper, but every night at 1:00 a.
m. sharp, I lead you to the bathroom to make a pishy.
Adam: I did not know that.
Beverly: Well, point is, I found it when I moved your unconscious body, and this, for sure, will be our calling card.

Barry: That's it. We're eating a Donkey steak if it's the last thing I do!
Murray: Sit down and do not mess with that man's sandwich.
Barry: We'll just switch it with our flaming hot one! He's a giant. He'll never notice the spicy.
Murray: That's not how spicy works.

Geoff: Can I be the prop guy? You know, everyone's always focused on the characters in the movie, but I'm always, like, "Where'd they get that salt shaker?"

Coach Mellor: What's with the flyer, Goldberg?
Barry: I made this life-changing bet with my dad, and I can't lose.
Coach Mellor: Blood feud with the old man, huh? I didn't talk to Coach Senior for six years until we finally arm-wrestled it out. He won. But I let him.

Murray: Stop playing with your food, moron.
Adam: I'm not playing! It's from "Close Encounters."
[Murray throws a bread roll at Adam's head]
Murray: There's your close encounter.

Naked Rob: Yo, bro.We heard ab out your movie. JTP wants in.
Adam: Seriously? You want to be in it?
Naked Rob: I was thinking more cameraman. Naked Rob's tired of always being objectified for his body.
Adam: Technically, you're the one who gets naked, but, yes.

Beverly: Whatcha doing, boofaloo?
Adam: Writing a script.
Beverly: Yay! [laughs] So, what's the name of your big, fancy new movie?
Adam: Let's see "Indiana Jones and the Thunder Glove of the Prime Mutant". That's it. "Indiana Jones and the Thunder Glove of the Prime Mutant." It writes itself!
Beverly: You looked around the room, and you came up with a title!