‘Baré’
Season 4, Episode 18 - Aired March 15, 2017
When Lainey gets accepted to fashion school in Georgia, Barry considers abandoning his dream of being a doctor. Meanwhile, Adam and Erica are annoyed that Murray is more loving towards the dog than them.
Quote from Murray
Erica: I can't believe you, dude! How could you save the dog over us?
Murray: It's a dog! She doesn't know from fire alarms!
Quote from Barry
Barry: Step 1, take my GED, graduate tomorrow. What's next?
Beverly: Four years of pre-med at college.
Barry: I'll do it in six weeks. Done. Next. What else you got?
Beverly: Actual medical school, which takes another four years.
Barry: I'll knock it out in a month. Boom! Cutting out hearts and playing God.
Beverly: But to be a cardiologist, you need to do a residency at a hospital, and that's at least another two years.
Barry: I'll do it in two days. Done! Where are my golf clubs? Dr. Tasty's ready to save lives.
Quote from Barry
Barry: So if I got to choose between being a regular-aged doctor and being with Lainey, I choose her.
Beverly: Stop. What are you saying?
Barry: If it's between saving millions with my doctoring or saving one with my loving, then I choose to let millions die.
Beverly: But I was looking forward to letting my friends ramble on about their boring sons, and when they asked me about you, I'd smugly say, "He's a doctor."
Barry: Not anymore.
Beverly: But I was gonna get personalized license plates that say "Doc's Mom" and steal all your cream samples and bother you on family vacations when I find a weird bump.
Barry: Not anymore.
Beverly: Honey?
Barry: Goodbye, tongue depressors. I guess I ate all those Popsicles for nothing.
Quote from Adam
Barry: Well, I was crazy wrong. Good thing you went to the hospital for a second opinion.
Adam: The first and only opinion! Seriously, what's wrong with everyone?
Quote from Barry
Barry: Doctoring!
Murray: Oh, no! Why?!
Barry: Just checking your reflexes. Patient lacks muscle response and also see highly agitated.
Murray: Damn right I'm agitated! You just hit my knee with a hammer!
Quote from Murray
Murray: [snoring] [gags] Oh, God! What's happening?!
Barry: Patient's throat seems red and inflamed, especially that dangly part in the back.
Murray: Stay away from me! Damn it! Come back and get the remote I just threw at you.
Quote from Barry
Barry: Okay, I've decided I'm either gonna be a doctor for the Phillies or the president's personal brain surgeon.
Mr. Glascott: Hey guys. I heard the amazing news.
Barry: That my idea for Barry Goldberg Appreciation Day has been approved by the school board?
Mr. Glascott: I told you they said no.
Quote from Mr. Glascott
Mr. Glascott: I'm referring to how Lainey got accepted into the Savannah College of Art and Design.
Lainey: I think Mr. Glascott might be mistaken.
Mr. Glascott: No, it's right here on official stationery.
Barry: How is this the first I'm hearing about this?
Lainey: Well, I must have gotten in this very second. Yay!
Mr. Glascott: No, this letter says you got in over a month ago.
Barry: That's impossible! Lainey would never hide something so big from me.
Mr. Glascott: Yes, that would be a terrible betrayal that would rock the very foundation of everything that you hold dear.
Lainey: Read the room, dude.
Mr. Glascott: Roger that.
Quote from Lainey
Barry: Okay, fine. But you can't go to that school without me and surround yourself with all those fashion boys.
Lainey: Fashion boys?
Barry: Yeah, they're all stylish and tan and love dancing the night away with each other.
Lainey: I really don't think you have to worry about fashion boys.
Quote from Erica
Erica: Okay, very important question. On one hand, Florida has beaches, but on the other hand, Georgia has peaches. So it's beaches versus peaches. See my predicament?