Adult Adam: [v.o.] Ah, Fame. Back in the '8 s, this 0ale of artsy kids singing and dancing their way through high school delighted me, but not everyone got it.
Murray: They're all moving too much.
Adam: Aren't you swept up in their passion and devotion to the craft?
Murray: I'll give you a craft... plumbing. That's where they're all gonna be in 10 years, when their knees give out and the songs don't pay the bills.
Adam: How does every conversation end in your pro-plumbing stance?
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Turns out, I wasn't the only one obsessed with it.
Beverly: I have everything in common with these artistic children.
Murray: Oh, yeah? That last one just did a backflip off a fire hydrant. That's for official use, moron!
Adam: Us artsy types are an unpredictable bunch.
Murray: I'll give you a prediction... plumber, plumber, plumber, plumber.

Erica: Jean? Hey. Why are you wearing a party dress at 7:00 in the morning?
Geoff: Ooh, are you going to a Daytime Emmy watch party? Outstanding Game Show Host is a nail-biter this year.
Jean: I'm just heading home from an all-nighter. It was awesome. We pre-gamed at the Villanova tailgate, and then we post-gamed at this abandoned cookie factory, but that sucked, so I called my friend Alice. She was at Sammy's with this guy she's hooking up with. Y'all know Tater?
Geoff: I know tater tots, the fry's rambunctious cousin. Don't care for their shape.

Erica: So, Jean Jacobs is really getting after it. Are we getting after it?
Geoff: Of course. We just got the monthly rental record at West Coast Video. We beat out everyone, including that boy with no immune system who can't go outside.
Erica: You're right. We're crushing college.

Geoff: How'd you get in here? Also, I didn't even bake that lasagna yet.
Joanne: This is what you get for giving me a key in case of emergency.
Barry: And the emergency was, we wanted to see what was in your fridge. I combined all your juices into one giant tropical super-juice. It was horrible. I dumped it out.

Mr. Glascott: I love your Fame idea.
Beverly: Really?
Mr. Glascott: Yes. I'm a Fame-a-holic. I've seen it 19 times. The ticket guy at the theater thinks I'm mentally unstable.
Beverly: Well, you know, they have it on VHS, John.
Mr. Glascott: I was an early adopter of the Sony format Betamax. Its retail failure was also my own.
Beverly: Then why'd you double down and say my idea was terrible?
Mr. Glascott: Peer pressure and outie belly buttons are my greatest fears. But you don't know how many school musicals I've sat through, silently longing to be up there under those hot lights myself.
Beverly: Then, baby, they'll remember your name.
Mr. Glascott: That's from the movie! [both laugh]

Barry: Still feels like you've got to kick it up a notch. Like human bowling.
Joanne: [gasps] And axe-chucking.
Barry: A foam room.
Joanne: Snake racing.
Barry: Fire-breathing.
Joanne: Boxing, both regular and foxy.
Barry: A foam room.
Joanne: You said that already.
Barry: I'm repeating it for emphasis.

Mr. Glascott: Harrowing news, everyone. I was minding my business in the east hallway washroom, and I overheard a sinister plot. The seniors are going to, quote, "rag on those goofy teachers until they cry."
Mr. Perott: No way.
Mr. Glascott: Yes, way. Brian Corbett and Brian Walls are gonna tear us apart.
Mr. Woodburn: The Brians? So popular and catty.
Mr. Glascott: Oh, and it wasn't just them. There was a stream of pupils entering and exiting, each one more mocking than the next. Jason B., Xavier M., Rodney R., Jason B. again.
Beverly: All of those people came in and out while you were in the bathroom?
Mr. Glascott: Yes. We are lambs for the slaughter.
Beverly: I'm just concerned about how long you were in the bathroom.
Mr. Perott: You went before we even broke for lunch.
Helen: I thought he left for the day.
Mr. Glascott: We all have our own ways of managing pre-show jitters.
Coach Nick: I hope you at least brought a book.
Mr. Glascott: Focus, people. We're in real trouble here. We can't sing or dance, and look at these form-fitting costumes.

Beverly: Well, I hope you're ready for a joyless Quaker hymn. This one was written 200 years ago to thank God for a bountiful harvest... so just close your eyes and imagine that wheat.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Yep, my mom had a bad case of Fame fever.
Beverly: [drumming] Look at me. [glasses dinging]
Geoff: Fun stuff, Mrs. G. But why exactly are you drumming on my glass of Tang?
Adam: She's trying to re-create the magical, rhythmic energy of the "Hot Lunch Jam" number from Fame.
Barry: Stop Fame-ing us during dinner. Those were high school kids. You're like 100! It's embarrassing.
Adam: Don't resist. We all know this rat-a-tatting is gonna end in some family hip-shaking and booty-quaking.
Joanne: This reads as super crazy to me, but do your thing.
Beverly: Unh! There you go, Geoffrey. Feel the throbbing pulsations with your future mother-in-law.
Erica: Geoff, don't you dare let the beat in.
Geoff: It's too late. Beat's knocking. Sorry, babe. Geoffy's gotta open the door!
Beverly: Whoo!
Barry: Gah! I truly hate this, but the sound is incomplete without my beatboxing. [beatboxing]
Adam: Joanne? Any interest in making sweet, sweet music with us?
Joanne: Uh, the wording is questionable, but I make a habit of never saying no to anything.
Beverly: Uh-oh! Look what I found carelessly placed in front of Erica!
Erica: No, it's not going to happen. I feel nothing. It doesn't work on me.
Beverly: Come on.
Erica: Fine.
Beverly: Ooh! Whoo! [beat music plays] Unh-unh! Bring it on down. [Geoff humming] Whoo, yeah! Come on, Adam. Get on Mama's shoulders. It's time to take this to the street.
Adam: The power of the rhythm makes me believe that's a good idea.
Beverly: Hot Lunch!

Erica: Well, our night was bananas, too. We watched a bartender do crazy bottle tricks, and then he got into a fight with his boss, who's also a bottle juggler, and then he moved to Jamaica.
Jean: Isn't that the plot to the movie Cocktail starring Tom Cruise?
Geoff: Yeah, we rented it and ordered in Chinese. The egg rolls were heavy, so I fell asleep and don't really know how it ends.
Erica: Oh, he gets the girl.
Geoff: Oh, nice.
Jean: Aww. I forgot you guys are all locked down, just engaged and crap.
Geoff: Well, one woman's crap is another man's mountaintop of utter bliss.
Erica: Don't oversell it, Geoff.