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31Quotes from ‘Lucky’

The Goldbergs: Lucky

307. Lucky

Aired November 11, 2015

Barry begs Murray to get a dog, and when they finally do, Barry is disappointed to find the dog would rather spend more time with Murray than with him. Meanwhile, Erica and Lainey plan a girls-only sleepover… without Beverly. But when Erica finds out she wants to join them, it puts a rift in their mother-daughter relationship.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Holy crap, puppies! They're so fluffy and adorable. They're like the kittens of dogs!

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Quote from Barry

Barry: She needs a name. From this point on, this animal will only be known as Jean-Dog Van Damme. No, wait, Arnold Schwarzendogger. No, wait, Dogvester Stallone. No, wait, Lucky.

Quote from Barry

Barry: I spent the entire afternoon in a puppy pit cheating death. You always said the reason we can't get a dog is because of me.
Murray: Forgot what happened in the puppy pit. That was a fluke. You are crazy allergic to dogs.
Barry: Wrong! My insanely strong immune system has grown so powerful that I'm no longer allergic to anything on earth.
Murray: No, stop. Don't think that.
Barry: It's the truth. I'll go outside right now and roll around in poison oak, you'll see.

Quote from Beverly

Erica: Are you spying on our pajama party?
Beverly: Before you say anything, I gotta know, is it Heather G. or Heather S?
Erica: I don't even know what to say. You have never, ever stooped so low.
Beverly: I have. You just haven't caught me.

Quote from Adam

Barry: Shut up and listen. I have narrowed down the breed of dog that best matches my personality and lifestyle.
Adam: Good morning to you, too.
Barry: Our dog will either be the kind that looks like a sheep-
Adam: A sheepdog.
Barry: Cujo.
Adam: A book, not a breed.
Barry: A McGruff.
Adam: That's a cartoon crime dog.
Barry: Or, a bear crossed with a poodle.
Adam: Not possible.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Get some rest, Lucky. I'll teach you how to karate chop a board with your paws tomorrow.

Quote from Beverly

Erica: I'm sorry, but this week has proven that I'm an adult and I can take care of myself.
Pops: I don't have all the facts, but I think this one goes in the loss column.
Beverly: This is the worst thing to happen to me since Adam learned to walk.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Why isn't this working? I'm lifting with my back like you're supposed to.

Quote from Barry

Barry: I know I'm not the alpha or the beta. I'm whatever comes last in the Greek letters. I think it's zorbo.

Quote from Erica

Beverly: Oh my God, this is going to be so fun.
Erica: No. Take off the mom pajamas and stop doing what you're doing.

Quote from Erica

Beverly: Please let me be your Shelley Long. We'll call it Troupe Beverly just like in the old days.
Erica: That's when we were too young to know how unbearably annoying you were.
Beverly: No offense taken.

Quote from Pops

Pops: Look, that one's falling asleep while standing up. I've done that.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Dad! You won't believe it. I'm alive. I'm actually alive.
Murray: Ask your mother.

Quote from Murray

Barry: Do you realize you've denied me the sidekick I've always longed for?
Murray: I'm okay with that.

Quote from Murray

Murray: Look, I've got enough ungrateful kids around here to take care of. The last thing I need is an ungrateful animal to take care of.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Yes! Now I'm not the only one in the house who has to take his pill in cheese.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Wait, you got a dog without me? It better be a grizzly-poodle. Seriously, if it's not a grizzoodle, I don't want it.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Erica, come see how sweet and not awful I am.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Oh, Erica, come meet Lucky. It's a perfect name because she's so lucky to live with a family that's so loving and forgiving.

Quote from Murray

Barry: What the hell is Lucky wearing? Did you make my dog an Eagles jersey?
Murray: Sure did.
Barry: You put effort into something?
Murray: Can you believe it?

Quote from Barry

Barry: You can't watch Lucky. Your terrible changing voice will hurt her sensitive dog ears.

Quote from Adam

Adam: Dad hasn't turned Lucky against you. The Dog just listens to him because he's the alpha male.
Barry: The what?
Adam: The boss. Numero uno. Lucky has to follow Dad, it's nature.
Barry: Nature is an idiot. I'm number uno.
Adam: In Lucky's eyes, you rank number four in this family.
Barry: No way.
Adam: Clearly Dad's one. Pops is an elder so that makes him two. I have a power-alliance with Pops so that puts me at three and you at four.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: You haven't missed my backscratches?
Erica: No.
Beverly: How I lay on your sheets to warm them up before bed time?
Erica: God no.
Beverly: The love notes I write you on the steamy shower door.
Erica: No.
Beverly: The way I suck out the pits of your olives?
Erica: No.

Quote from Lainey

Erica: My God, I can't believe how easy it is to sneak downtown when you don't have a mom in your life.
Lainey: Yeah, mine's been gone since I was twelve. It's the best.

Quote from Murray

Barry: Murray Terrence Goldberg, I challenge you to feats of strength.
Murray: Terrence? Do you actually think that's my middle name?

Quote from Murray

Murray: She's family! You can't return family. Believe me, I've checked.

Quote from Pops

Officer: Any idea how fast you were going?
Pops: Fifty?
Officer: Three.
Pops: Fifty-three?
Officer: Just three.
Pops: Well, that sounds very safe.
Officer: It's not.

Quote from Pops

Pops: Eat my grits, Porky!


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