TV Quotes

Beverly: [beep] me sideways. I have raised some thoughtful children.

Erica: Mom, I need you to get heavily involved with your son in an inappropriate way.
Beverly: I'm in. You name it. I'll do it.

Pops: Wanna know my secret? Hanging out with my best friend keeps me young. Now, what do you say you run your grandpa over with the car?
Adam: I'd love to.

Pops: Look, everyone has their time. But I'm here, I'm awesome and I'm not going anywhere any time soon, kiddo.

Murray: This might partially be my fault. I may have said something along the lines of old people die and he may have come to conclusions.
Pops: What conclusions?
Murray: You know if you're at the deli counter of life, and you've got your ticket. You're gonna get your sandwich sooner than other people will.
Pops: What is this horrible deli? I hate this deli.
Murray: We all gotta eat there sometime.
Pops: Well I'm just gonna have a pickle.
Murray: Can't just have a pickle.
Pops: I can and I will.
Murray: You can't just have a pickle.
Pops: I'm in better shape than you! Check out these guns!

Adam: You don't understand. Optimus was murdered in cold blood.
Murray: The Greek exchange student staying with the Applebaums?!
Adam: No, that kid's name was Nico. I'm talking about the robot I like from the cartoon.

Beverly: Just so you know, I've picked out the perfect person for each of my children. So whenever you're ready, I can introduce you to your soulmate.

Beverly: I know I am your mother but I think I can say this without bias. You are an Adonis, cut from marble, sent from heaven to be scrumptious.

Adam: About that, there were some rewrites. In the new scene, Optimus Prime eats a fiber-rich breakfast and goes for a heart-smart walk.
Pops: Okay, I'm not understanding my character here. You told me I was a badass.
Adam: You are. And after this scene, you're gonna rest up with some hot tea under an afghan, like a badass.

Lainey: Evelyn Silver? How can you go to the dance with Evelyn Silver?
Barry: She asked me! Well she kinda told me. She's pushy in a way that feels familiar and safe.

Erica: Are you and Barry together?
Lainey: No. Not really. I mean, kinda. He repulses me, but I'm still drawn to him.
Erica: Ew!
Lainey: I know! He's clumsy and annoying and has those big, brown eyes and cute dimples when he smiles.
Erica: Ew!
Lainey: I know!
Erica: Lainey, we're talking about my brother. This has to stop!
Lainey: I know!
Erica: Ew!
Lainey: I've tried, but I keep getting pulled back in. It's like he annoys me so much, I just want to kiss his stupid face.
Erica: Ew!
Lainey: I know!

Erica: He's in a serious funk because nobody's asked him to the Sadie Hawkins dance.
Beverly: Well when you're that delicious, it can be intimidating.
Erica: That's a theory.

Beverly: Oh, it's finally happening. My children are coming to me to find love.

Murray: What the hell are you doing? That's my chair!
Adam: Now it's Optimus Prime's command center. I'm making an awesome movie.
Murray: For how long?
Adam: We're thinking five/six months.
Murray: What?
Adam: I know. It's gonna be tough with the late night shooting, the crew taking over the house and the huge water bill; I gotta flood the basement.

Barry: I like your sweater. I find it oddly comforting.

Murray: What ya doing?
Pops: Signing up for skydiving lessons. I'll show him who's old.

Adam: I'm making a new movie. Stop motion animation. You know what's good about that? No actors!

Pops: I know your dad talked to you about the deli of life. But you need to know, I'm not eating a sandwich just yet.
Adam: Maybe it's because I'm super tired, but you're making no sense.

Adam: It's the world's greatest cartoon. They just came out with an animated movie.
Murray: They took this and made it longer? I don't get it.

Pops: Come on, he's just a cartoon robot.
Adam: To you. To me, he's a hero. If I made that movie, Optimus would live forever, and he would bring peace to Cybertron.
Pops: I don't know what you're talking about, but sure let's make that movie. We'll right the wrongs of those Hollywood bastards.

Pops: Feels like you're taking the teeth out of this thing.
Adam: Well, I'm the director, and this is my vision. Now, take a calcium supplement and stand on your mark in the shade.

Barry: I know you. You're the girl at school who always argues with the teachers.
Evelyn: Only when they're wrong.
Beverly: Which is a lot.

Barry: Forbidden love is the best kind of love, right after tender and jungle.

Murray: Don't you come after baseball. It's America's pastime.
Adam: And robots are America's future. Deal with it!
Murray: Deal with what? Robot's aren't even real.
Adam: Oh, you'll see how real they are when cyborgs take over and outlaw your precious baseball.
Murray: Never. And you know why? We will rise up with our bats and destroy those metal bastards!
Adam: A bat against a plasma cannon? Good luck mining steel for your robot overlords.