Barry: My biggest weakness? I'm honest and I'm lazy. What's your biggest weakness?

Barry: Hey, it's me, Barry.
Erica: I told you to never come where I am.

Beverly: F as in fail? No, that's literally humanly impossible. My children don't fail.

Erica: This is a total double standard.
Barry: No, it's not. Dad's just giving me special treatment because I'm a boy and you're not, so you lose.
Erica: That's the definition of a double standard, you idiot.

Barry: Who do I think would win a fight between a tiger and a bear? That's a good question. One you didn't ask, but I'll discuss.

Barry: Minimum wage? No, no, what's maximum wage?

Murray: Ah, look at you. How's the first day on the job?
Barry: Not bad at all. Made a ton of dough. Pizza dough. It's a joke we say around the shop because dough is another word for money, but we also cook with it.

Barry: Dude, it's like you have no respect for me.
Murray: It is like that, yes.

Murray: No, no, no, stop. Come back here and be a weight on my spirit.

Pops: Okay, I got to stop you before this gets nuts. Clearly this is the one subject the kid struggles in. You can't blame the teacher. It's the boy.
Beverly: It takes a very special educator to teach such a strange exotic language with all the squiggles over the letters and the crazy upside down question marks, and the rrrs.