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30Quotes from ‘Big Orange’

The Goldbergs: Big Orange

323. Big Orange

Aired May 11, 2016

Adam tries to hold onto his childhood when Murray wants to tear down the tree house. Meanwhile, Beverly and Lainey team up to spruce up Barry's wardrobe.

Quote from Barry

Barry: I don't know who I am anymore. Am I big or tasty? No one knows!

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Quote from Beverly

Beverly: What the- Why are you here?
Lainey: To get Barry back.
Beverly: That's what I was trying to do, but now you're screwing me in the pooper!
Lainey: Oh, sweet God!
Beverly: What? What'd I say? Is that bad?

Quote from Barry

Beverly: You wear that thing all the time. Just look at these pictures from last year. Wrestling team, orange shirt. Beatboxing club, orange shirt. Nunchucking Society, orange shirt.
Barry: Don't forget Zombie Survival Club. Colleges are gonna snap me up.

Quote from Beverly

Lainey: It's just a shirt, babe. We didn't know how much it meant to you.
Beverly: And in our defense, we didn't know we'd get caught.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: And I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling kids.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Look at me and know this. I will never take off Big Orange. I will get married in this shirt. I will win the Super Bowl in this shirt. I will become President of the United States of America in this shirt.
Beverly: Well, then I'm not gonna come to your inauguration. Who am I kidding? Of course I'll be there. And I'll iron that shirt.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Happy anniversary, babe!
Lainey: Dude, I spent hours on my make-up, fixing my hair, and squeezing into this dress.
Barry: I'm so lucky I'm a boy. I woke up like this. I was wearing this shirt and everything.

Quote from Lainey

Beverly: God, I hate that shirt.
Lainey: He looks like a walking circus peanut.
Beverly: He looks like an angry Cheez-It.
Lainey: It's like I'm dating a glass of Tang.
Beverly: Once, when he was wearing it, a panhandler gave him change.
Lainey: I had a dream I married it and we had little orange shirt babies.

Quote from Lainey

Beverly: I can't wait for you to try these on. You're gonna be the handsomest boy in the whole world.
Barry: But you said I'm already the handsomest boy in the whole world.
Lainey: Now you can break your own record. Just like Wayne Gretzky.
Barry: The great one? Yes!
Beverly: Distracting him with hockey people. You're good.
Lainey: I learned from the best.

Quote from Erica

Barry: No! Wait! You guys got to help me find out who did this. Big Orange's spirit will not rest until the perpetrator has been found and paid his debt.
Erica: And what's in it for us?
Adam: You mean besides the justice served?
Erica: Yeah, I'm gonna need something real.
Barry: I'll also pay you $7,000.
Erica: Um, yeah, no brainer. It's my bar mitzvah money. I've been saving it up for a moment exactly like this.
Barry: For when someone destroyed your $10 T-shirt? Don't you want to save it for a trip to Europe or a down-payment on a h-
Erica: Don't answer that. The Goldberg Gang is on the case.

Quote from Adam

Adam: At long last, the Goldberg Gang was back on the beat! But before we could catch the culprit, we first had to go over the usual suspects. Okay. This investigation is officially open.
Erica: It was Mom.
Adam: Too obvious! We need to think outside the box.
Erica: It was Mom.
Adam: Figure out who has the means the means, opportunity and motive.
Erica: Which spells "Mom".
Adam: Coincidence!

Quote from Adam

Adam: Fortunately for us, I've narrowed it down to only 36 suspects. Suspect number one, Pops. Put a few martinis in him, he's capable of anything.
Erica: It was Mom.
Adam: Suspect number two, me. Am I guilty? Probably not, but I do sleepwalk.
Erica: It was Mom.
Adam: Suspect number three!
Erica: What is that?
Adam: A ghost, classic Scooby Doo villain.
Erica: Again, it was Mom. This is not a mystery, we're not detectives, and this is not our headquarters.

Quote from Murray

Adam: This case is heating up, man.
Murray: Enough with the case! I don't want you out there, running around like a loose cannon, because it's my ass on the line, and I won't have it!
Adam: I got to find the truth!
Murray: It's gotten too personal. You're off the case. Give me your magnifying glass and your hat.
Adam: You can't shut us down, old man! Me and my partner will not rest till we track down and interrogate every single option.

Quote from Lainey

Lainey: This is bad. Real bad! They're closing in on us.
Beverly: Hold it together. They got nothing.
Lainey: There's bleach on my hands.

Quote from Adam

Lainey: It was your mom and I. We're, like, totally guilty.
Adam: I have one question. Who are you covering for?
Lainey: What? No one. I literally just confessed.
Adam: Well, isn't that convenient? Typical patsy taking the fall for a network of criminals above you.
Lainey: Why is he talking like that? I, like, literally confessed.

Quote from Barry

Barry: From this moment on, I officially declare I have no girlfriend and no mother.
Lainey: You can't do that.
Beverly: Yeah, you can't do that. Well, you can do it to her, but you can't do it to your mother. I say this all the time, you only have one mother.
Barry: Well, I'll find another one.
Beverly: You wouldn't dare.
Barry: I will. I'll tell that nice, old lunch lady who always calls me "son" to put her money where her mouth is.

Quote from Murray

Murray: I told you not to go off half-cocked like a cowboy, but you had to play by your own rules! That's as much anger as I can muster for something so stupid.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: I know you're upset, sweetie, but don't throw out the Beverly with the Lainey water.

Quote from Pops

Pops: Hey, hey! Look what I sewed back up! Large Orange, now everyone's happy.
Barry: That's Garfield! I need to punch something. Adam, I need you!
Beverly: That did not go well. It's over. I have no son.
Lainey: And I have no boyfriend.
Pops: I think Garfunkel is sporty and I'm keeping this thing.

Quote from Pops

Pops: Wait, that's what this is? A shirt funeral? Damn it. I missed a real funeral for this.


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