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20Quotes from ‘The Facts of Bleeping Life’

The Goldbergs: The Facts of Bleeping Life

203. The Facts of Bleeping Life

Aired October 8, 2014

Inspired by Prince Charles and Lady Diana's approaching wedding, Beverly decides that she and Murray should renew their wedding vows. Murray's lack of interest threatens to derail Beverly's dream of a second wedding. Meanwhile, Barry and Adam form a garage band, which Barry hopes will impress Lainey.

Quote from Barry

Barry: You could share my mike. It's great for duets.
Lainey: Your breath smells like cat food.
Barry: I can assure you, it's people food.

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Quote from Beverly

Virginia: Now, tell me why Murray is sitting down during your vows.
Beverly: He got woozy. Big day, low blood sugar. He ate a plum. It was fine.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Oh, you should hear the vows he's writing for me.
Virginia: What did he say? I got to hear. I got to hear.
Beverly: It was a private moment. I don't really remember what was said.
Virginia: Oh, fair enough.
Beverly: But it was definitely this. "I bet we've been together for a million years. And I bet we'll be together for a million more.It's like I started breathing on the night we kissed."

Quote from Murray

Beverly: You take the good. You take the bad. You take them both, and then you have the Facts Of Life.
Murray: Oh, boy.
Beverly: The Facts Of [beep] Life!
Murray: Clearly, you're angry. And I'm willing to take some of the blame, up to 30%.

Quote from Beverly

Murray: How'd you make tears so fat?
Beverly: They're always there. Lying in wait, because I feel so deeply.

Quote from Barry

Adam: You know, if we're gonna be selling out mega-stadiums, maybe we should learn more than one song?
Barry: It's not about the music. It's about the showmanship and pageantry, and smoke machines, and glitter cannons, and giant hair, and cod pieces.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Well the front man gets all the ladies, so I make all the decisions for Barry and the Hendersons.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Look at her. She really is the people's princess. I'll never be anyone's princess. My destiny is to die alone.

Quote from Murray

Murray: Hey, Bevy, what kind of mustard do I like?
Beverly: You like ketchup. We have company. Put on pants or leave.
Murray: Yeah. You win this round.

Quote from Adam

Adam: Man, I can't wait to be famous. All the kids at school who call me a nerd are gonna beg to be my best friend.
Barry: And I'll buy a Ferrari for every day of the week.
Adam: And I will have every Garbage Pail Kid ever made.
Barry: And Chuck Norris will be my personal trainer till his wife falls in love with me and it gets awkward.
Adam: And I'll buy bubbles the chimp from Michael Jackson and give him a new name with dignity, like William or Professor Bananas.
Barry: And Charles Barkley will beg me to join the sixers.
Adam: And we'll live in a mansion in Miami, and Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine will be our neighbors.
Barry: And we're gonna paint the name of the band on the roof so everyone can see it from the sky! We'll be Rock Gods.

Quote from Erica

Erica: No! I will kill you! I am not kidding. I will go to jail, I will do my time. I may come out a different person, but it'll be worth it!


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