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29Quotes from ‘Bill/Murray’

The Goldbergs: Bill/Murray

223. Bill/Murray

Aired May 6, 2015

When Erica dreams of getting in to Julliard, Adam and Beverly help her film a music video to stand out among the other applicants. Meanwhile, Murray bonds with Bill Lewis, Lainey's father, but Murray struggles to be a friend in need for Bill.

Quote from Murray

Murray: I'll tell you what's happening. This schmuck lives in Philadelphia yet he roots for the Dallas Cowboys. Who does that?

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Quote from Erica

Adam: Wow, what's with the stool, honey?
Erica: Don't call me honey. It's weird.

Quote from Murray

Murray: Why did you call me when it's usually my wife who handles this annoying school crap?
Principal Ball: Well, truthfully I couldn't reach her. And, more truthfully, I didn't try because she scares me.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: You don't know the things I've done for my children. You don't want to know.
Guidance Counsellor: I kinda wanna know.
Beverly: You cannot know.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: You've been watching this Music MTV Television for six hours, enough is enough. Go do your homework.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Well, my passion is snuggies, which I'm going to shower you with if you don't leave right now. Go before I kiss your belly.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Oh, yes, it's happening. You're growing up. Oh, no, it's happening. I'm not ready for this. Make time stop, make it stop.

Quote from Pops

Pops: I'm proud of you, Mur. Never thought I'd see the day where you made a friend.
Murray: What are you talking about? I've got friends.
Pops: Name one.
Murray: Vic.
Pops: He's your employee. You pay him to be around you.
Murray: What about Deli Guy? Love Deli Guy.
Pops: You only love him 'cause he gives you corned beef.

Quote from Pops

Pops: Play it cool. Tell him you're on the other line with another friend.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Hon, I love the spirit and the passion and everything you're doing here. But it's like, gag me with a spoon. I'm sorry, do you kids still say that?
Erica: We never really did.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: You need a video that stands out, like the ones on your MTV Music Television.

Quote from Murray

Murray: He cried on my shirt. On my shirt! Deli Guy never cries on my shirt.

Quote from Beverly

Adam: You know, I could probably cover a lot of this with smoke.
Beverly: A lot of [beep] smoke.

Quote from Adam

Erica: I can't decide if that guys hotter as a human or as a cartoon.
Adam: If Jessica Rabbit taught us anything, cartoon.

Quote from Adam

Erica: I mean what did we even do before MTV existed?
Adam: I think we just listened to music like animals.

Quote from Erica

Erica: If you think about it, I'm going to be a musician so this is my homework.

Quote from Adam

Adam: And if you really think about it, my life's passion is making films so this is my homework, too.

Quote from Beverly

Erica: One option is the London Conservatory of Music.
Beverly: Ocean between us. Pass.
Erica: There's also an awesome music program at UCLA.
Beverly: Country between us. Pass.
Erica: Boston School of Music.
Beverly: A Connecticut between us. Pass.

Quote from Murray

Murray: Well, we have a saying here. You're bald.

Quote from Murray

Principal Ball: I've got to say it surprises the friction that exists between the two of you considering how similar you are.
Murray: Please.
Bill: Come on.
Principal Ball: For example, you're both fathers, you're both small business owners, you both seem very angry.
Murray: That is true.
Bill: I'll give you that.

Quote from Murray

Bill: You're a Giants fan? Why the hell do you live in Philadelphia?
Murray: He's got a point. Unlike the Giants last season.

Quote from Murray

Murray: I just had lunch with Bill Lewis. You know, once you get past the shiny head, not so awful.

Quote from Barry

Murray: Barry, get off the phone! I can hear you breathing.
Barry: Ask him how he's feeling, then compliment his phone voice.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: You focus on the music and leave the rest to us. By the time we're done, Juliard will be begging you to go. Just trust, momma.
Erica: Nothing crazy.
Beverly: You got it, schmoopie.
We gotta figure out how to get a white stallion down here.

Quote from Adam

Adam: Okay, I watched seven straight hours of MTV and I cracked their formula. A music video is one part thumping bass, one part big hair, and one part animated dancing cat.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Don't you dare hurt him. He's a wonderful person, and the gatekeeper to the only hot girl I ever tricked into liking me.

Quote from Beverly

Erica: Are you seeing what I'm seeing? There's robots punching dragons. And I'm a droopy-eyed stick figure riding a unicorn. Gag me with a spoon!
Beverly: See, I knew you still used that phrase.

Quote from Pops

Murray: Maybe it was nice to have someone to hang out with, even though he cried.
Pops: Murray, that's what friendship is. You've got to be there in the good times and in the bad.
Murray: I guess I'm just not cut out for that kind of thing.
Pops: No, you are. 'cause of all the friends I ever made in my life, you're my favorite.


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