‘A Wrestler Named Goldberg’
Season 1, Episode 22 - Aired May 6, 2014
When Barry is offered a place on the varsity wrestling team, Murray and Pops know that safety-crazed Beverly would never let her snuggle monster take part. With their help, Barry lies to his mother about joining the school play. Meanwhile, Adam is excited by the upcoming premiere of Star Wars Return of the Jedi, but he needs somebody to camp out in line with him. Adam blackmails Erica with an embarrassing video from her days as Star Wars fan. When Erica leaves the lines to hang out with her friends, Adam's hopes of seeing the premiere are dashed.
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: What is wrong with my children? Why won't they let me completely immerse myself in their lives?
Quote from Beverly
Barry: Mom? Are you kidding me right now? Move.
Beverly: I will not move. I will never move. You're my special boy. If you end up being just a head, then I have failed as a mother.
Quote from Murray
Beverly: Helen Cutler's son was in a wrestling match once and his head popped right off and now he lives his life as just a head.
Murray: There's no such thing as just a head! You need organs to live.
Beverly: Well, tell that to Helen Cutler as she's carrying her son around the grocery store like a football.
Murray: Well, where's his heart?! You need a heart to function.
Beverly: It's in his neck. He's got a little neck with organs in it.
Murray: Oh, so now he's got a neck! What else has he got? Maybe a body?!
Quote from Barry
Barry: You see, first you join the wrestling team, then you get the varsity jacket, then you get the power, then you get the women.
Murray: Everything you just said makes so much sense.
Quote from Barry
Barry: Who are these people? Tragedy befalls all of them, and I have no idea who they are!
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: How much will you be moving when a skate glides over your windpipe? It happened to Judy Muntz's nephew and now he can only communicate with a Speak & Spell he wears around his neck. Is that what you want?
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: That's what Essie Carp's son said and he got a big toe right in his eye. Now he can't see color. Is that what you want?
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: Ruth Rosner's grandson was doing the worm. He cracked every vertebrae in his body. Now he's two inches shorter. Is that what you want?
Quote from Barry
Coach Mellor: Nice moves, Goldfarb.
Barry: What?
Coach Mellor: I've been watching you, kid. I've seen you freak out and melt down all over school.
Barry: Go on.
Quote from Coach Mellor
Coach Mellor: You got that unhinged look in your eye. I like it. I like it a lot.
Barry: My mother says my eyes are the brownest brown.
Coach Mellor: I've seen browner.