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26Quotes from ‘Edward 'Eddie the Eagle' Edwards’

The Goldbergs: Edward 'Eddie the Eagle' Edwards

316. Edward 'Eddie the Eagle' Edwards

Aired February 24, 2016

When Barry sees underdog Eddie the Eagle in the Olympics, he decides to popularize Ball Ball in order to gain respect at school.  Meanwhile, Beverly catches wind that Murray’s store sales are down and intervenes by selling the latest furniture craze.

Quote from Barry

Erica: You're never going to win at... Curling? What the hell is that?
Barry: Isn't it genius? No one knows.
Adam: It's a sport where you sweep a rock across a sheet of ice. It takes incredible focus and patience.
Barry: Mmm...
Adam: Moving on. How about "dressage"?
Barry: Yes! I'll win the gold at whatever that is.
Adam: It's an equestrian event, which is the elegant art of horse dancing.
Barry: It told you, bro. I will never dance with a horse! Never!
Erica: What is your deal with horses?
Barry: They know what they did.

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Quote from Barry

Barry: Yes! Left field, which is your right, so it still counts.
Adam: Dude. How do the Phillys not recruit you right now, fresh out of high school.
Barry: That's what I ask when I call them!

Quote from Beverly

Vic: Do me a favor. Don't tell Murray you heard it from me, okay?
Beverly: Of course, Vic. I permiss.
Vic: Did you just say "I permiss"?
Beverly: No, I said "I pormiss."
Vic: Por... Por...
Beverly: I pormiss?
Vic: Wait, what?
Beverly: Got to go!

Quote from Coach Mellor

Coach Mellor: Goldberg, what the hell are you doing? I said Ruben Amaro, Jr.
Barry: What? How is that even possible?
Coach Mellor: Well, he's an athletic superstar, and you are our mascot. Now, put on the giant head and dance for our champ.

Quote from Murray

Pops: He's right, Mur. It's freezing in here. At least start a fire.
Murray: Are you nuts? You think firewood grows on trees?
Pops: Yes, that's what trees are. Wood.
Murray: Well, keep your hands off. And turn off the damn lights. We don't support the electric company.
[Murray turns the lights off. The room is pitch black]
Adam: Hey, we're still in here.
Murray: It's after 6:00. Go to bed.

Quote from Pops

Pops: Look, Mur, when I first opened this place, business was lousy. It was so bad, my in-laws would buy furniture they didn't even need. Every room in their house had three beds.
Murray: Why would they do something so stupid?
Pops: To help me. That's what family does. We take care of each other. There's no shame in that.
Murray: Yeah, well, it feels like there is.
Pops: I know that's how it was in your family, but now you're my family. And this is how we do it.

Quote from Lainey

Barry: Anyone could play baseball. I play Wiffle.
Lainey: Yes, the only sport where the equipment is sold in a pharmacy.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Well, at the very least, Coach should recognize my insane hoop skills.
Lainey: Sweetie, you're not even on the basketball team.
Barry: 'cause I play streetball. My flash and pizzazz can't be contained in a gymnasium. And don't get me started on my boomerang skills.
Lainey: I won't.

Quote from Adam

Murray: Which one of you morons cranked up the heat to 55?
Adam: How is that cranked up? I'm wearing my Spider-man long underwear, which, yes, feels like a fun little secret, but it shouldn't be necessary in the house.

Quote from Murray

Murray: Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's two whole ounces of milk right there. Pour it back.
Erica: But it's blue from all the Boo Berry.
Murray: Berries are healthy. Pour it back.

Quote from Barry

Adam: Moving on. Rhythmic gymnastics.
Erica: Oh, you mean ribbon dancing? Yes, please do that. I beg you.
Barry: I sense your mocking tone. You know who else got mocked? Edward "Eddie the Eagle" Edwards.
Erica: His name is Edward Edwards?
Barry: Look, I don't know all the details. I'm just basing my life on him. Geez.

Quote from Adam

Erica: Giant problem. Some dumbass game you play in the basement will never be an Olympic sport.
Barry: That's what they said about soccer.
Adam: He's right. I heard that.
Erica: No, you didn't.
Adam: I didn't, but he said it with such confidence I agree.

Quote from Murray

Murray: Wait, what if I told you I have a bed combined with a small lake? You see that? You see how it's gently rocking me to sleep?
Customer: Waterbed. [Sighs] Yeah, I don't know. It seems kind of '70s.
Murray: This bed is so damn relaxing!
Customer: Really? 'Cause you look more agitated.
Murray: It's like being in the freaking Bahamas. Come on. Lay down next to me. Lay your body next to mine and feel what I feel.

Quote from Adam

Adam: All I know is, first, you kick me out of the game we created. Then you sucked at it and lost it forever.
Barry: Sucked?
Adam: Sucked! For years, I thought you were the greatest athlete on the planet. Turns out, you're, like, not good. Just like me.
Barry: You take that back.
Adam: Never! You and me are the same.
Barry: That is the single-most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to me.
Adam: The same.

Quote from Murray

Beverly: Did you... Fold stuff?
Murray: Figured you gave me a hand, thought I could return the favor.
Beverly: Look, Murray, I know selling furniture is your thing, and I'm sorry that I...
Murray: Oh, no, no, no. This is on me. The store... It's struggling, Bevy. And truthfully, I could really use your help.
Beverly: I never thought you'd ask.


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