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37Quotes from ‘Colors’

The Goldbergs: Colors

517. Colors

Aired March 28, 2018

Beverly and Barry's friend groups start a turf war over control of the backyard. Meanwhile, Adam's tries to show Murray how much musical theater means to him.

Quote from Coach Mellor

Coach Mellor: Why are you never this fired up in gym class?
Adam: 'Cause I'm a theater geek, Coach, not that you'd ever understand.
Coach Mellor: [blows whistle] That's a flag on the assumption.
Adam: Really? You like musicals?
Coach Mellor: Last month, my lady love, Ms. Cinoman, dragged me to a community college for an evening of theater. I had prepared myself for a night of misery, when out of nowhere, this troupe of cats came crawling down the aisle. They were singing, dancing, with their athletic thighs and their gymnastic voices. I wish I could remember what that show was called.
Adam: "Cats."
Coach Mellor: No, that's not it. It'll come to me.

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Quote from Beverly

Essie Karp: Bev, we're your best friends. We help each other out through thick and thin, right?
Beverly: Of course.
Essie Karp: Then it's our job to tell you that boy manipulates the hell out of you!
Linda Schwartz: Played you like a fiddle.
Beverly: Please. I invented emotional blackmail and guilt. That's my jam.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Well, then, we must seek guidance from the only person who knows how to outsmart Beverly Goldberg: my sister, Erica.
Erica: No. [hangs up phone]
Naked Rob: So no Erica? At all?
Barry: That is all we're gonna get.
Geoff: Aw. But I was really looking forward to seeing her this week.
Barry: Well, if you think about it, she's off at college, so it really makes no sense why she'd be involved in any of this.

Quote from Coach Mellor

Ms. Cinoman: Class, a very angry parent has informed me that some of you felt excluded from the "Joseph" tour. So, to make it right, I hereby change the school musical to "Joseph" instead of "Cats."
Coach Mellor: "Cats"! That's the title!

Quote from Murray

Adam: Dad, I have amazing news. All I need is for you to drive me to play rehearsal in downtown Philly during the height of rush hour for the next three months. Oh, that was the first time I said that out loud. Can I go back?
Murray: Wait a minute. This is every day? What about homework?
Adam: Homework is for people who can't do this.
Murray: Stop. I'm not gonna have you flunk out 'cause of some goofy play.
Adam: Goofy? Okay, let me put this in terms you'll understand. This would be like if I was asked to do a hockey thing for, like... What's the Broadway of hockey?
Murray: There's clearly no answer that's gonna work for both of us.

Quote from Beverly

Virginia Kremp: Beverly, this match is inspired.
Beverly: I know. I dug down deep and pictured myself being thanked at their wedding.
Coach Mellor: Hey! We're sharing a private, supercharged, erotic moment over here!

Quote from Barry

Barry: I just punished my insides.
Naked Rob: I got to unbutton.
Geoff: Tummy so full.
Barry: I'm a ticking time bomb.
Beverly: What happened to my eggs Florentine, crusty sausage puffs, and fluffy Bevcakes?
Barry: Oh, that was for you guys?
Beverly: Yes. Who else would it be for?
Barry: We just thought someone abandoned a four-person brunch, so we were like, "Let's go to town."

Quote from Beverly

Essie Karp: It's fine. We can just have the bagels.
Beverly: Linda, look out!
Virginia Kremp: They're back.
Linda Schwartz: I don't even know how they got here.
Beverly: They're like raccoons. Get! Get! Get!

Quote from Barry

Barry: Man, I always thought "Red Dawn" was the most awesome movie about colors, but it's "Colors."

Quote from Barry

Beverly: Barry, we're having Sunday Funday in the backyard, so you kids go play in the front yard.
Barry: Fine. We'll just play at Andy's house. His awesome mom is always so welcoming and makes the best snacks.
Geoff: [whispering] It's Barry's new tactic to bend Bev to his will.
Beverly: Please! I make mine with love and lots of mayonnaise.
Andy: [whispering] She literally can't stand the idea of being replaced by another mom.
Barry: Yeah, but she always makes you feel at home, you know?
Beverly: My body was your home for nine months.
Barry: Yeah, so you claim.
Andy: [whispering] Watch the master at work.
Barry: Have fun with your pals, Mrs. Goldberg.
Beverly: Barry, wait. Take the backyard.
Barry: [gasps] My real mom's love has brought me back! Ladies, always a pleasure.

Quote from Coach Mellor

Coach Mellor: All right, you musical scrubs! It's my understanding that you guys are the theatrical equivalent of bench riders. So, I'm gonna whip you into shape with some suicide scales and some voice sprints.
Adam: Those aren't real things, Coach.

Quote from Coach Mellor

Adam: That's it. If I can get my dad to see "Joseph," then he'll turn into a theater geek and finally get me.
Coach Mellor: All it took for me was seeing one dancing cat show. I think it was called "Pets."
Adam: "Cats"! It's called "Cats"!
Coach Mellor: All right, smarty pants. Drop and give me 20!
Adam: 20 what?
Coach Mellor: Monologues. Stage laps. No, wait. Vocal tongue twisters. Move it!

Quote from Naked Rob

Barry: This turf belongs to the JTP.
All: JTP!
Beverly: Only turf I see belongs to us. Ain't that right, Frentas?
All: Frentas!
Andy: Oh, no. They did a call-and-response.
Naked Rob: Took us years to get there.

Quote from Matt

Barry: Now we take our yard back. We're in a real-life turf war, JTP, two rival gangs going head-to-head, just like in that movie "Colors."
Matt: I don't think this is anything like that.
Barry: We were there first, and they came and took our backyard. What's different?
Matt: "Colors" is an incredibly real and poignant movie about socioeconomic factors that created a political tinderbox within-
Barry: Now you get it! We're in a real-life war, just like in that movie "Colors."
Matt: Guys, we live in the suburbs of Jenkintown. It's super offensive to compare our-
Andy: Bro, just get on board. He's not letting this one go.
Matt: Fine. We're in a turf war.

Quote from Adam

Murray: You suck, Winnipeg Jets!
Adam: Oh, my God, they're the Jets. It's like "West Side Story" on ice!

Quote from Adam

Adam: Now I know why Barry never takes off this dumb Flyers shirt. It's like I'm part of the team, and I want everyone to know it.
Murray: I can't take it. This is too much, too fast. I'm gonna give you a hug.

Quote from Murray

Murray: Never again. That was so boring! I've never felt such exhaustion in my life.
Adam: Exhaustion?! You slept through half the show and missed all the best Pharaoh songs.
Murray: That's another thing. What's with all the singing?
Adam: It's a musical!
Murray: Who sings that much? Who does that?
Adam: Just think. There had to be something that you liked.
Murray: Yeah, that part in the middle where I thought it was over.
Adam: The intermission?!
Murray: What do you want from me?! I don't get theater, Adam.

Quote from Adam

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Thanks to Barry, my mom had her crew back, and the great Goldberg turf war came to a close. To be clear, it was nothing like the movie "Colors."

Quote from Murray

Adam: Man, I am so jealous of you right now, your first musical. There's nothing like it.
Murray: You know what? I think this won't be so bad.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] With that, Andrew Lloyd Webber's opus began, and my dad was totally digging it for about 10 seconds. After that, he was squirming.
Murray: These seats are so small. It's worse than an airplane.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] And he was hungry.
Adam: Let me do it.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] And finally, he was sleepy. Very, very incredibly sleepy.
Adam: Dad, wake up! It's the curtain call.
Murray: Ah. Great. Let's go.


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