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35Quotes from ‘The Lost Boy’

The Goldbergs: The Lost Boy

216. The Lost Boy

Aired March 25, 2015

When Adam attends a Phillies game with Murray, he gets lost after Murray decides he is old enough to walk through the stadium on his own. Elsewhere, Beverly invites herself along with Erica and Barry to go see a movie. After Pops teaches Erica and Barry how to beat Beverly's guilt tricks, they are prepared when Beverly threatens to walk home if they don't bend to her will and spend the night bedazzling clothes with her.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Wow, I am being rejected by two people who were tethered to my body for nine months by a food cord. That's right, everything I ate you got a tiny mushed up version of. Everything!

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Quote from Barry

Barry: You know that thing mom does when she storms out of the car and you have to beg her to get back in?
Pops: Oh yeah, the big guns.
Barry: Well, we left her on the side of the road like an old mattress. Boom!

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: I'm going to die one day, but have fun with your friends.

Quote from Pops

Erica: Pops, if your thing was so simple, we would have done it a long time ago.
Pops: You're right. I'm just a silly, old man. I should just go home, ball up my socks, and go to bed.
Erica: No. I'm sorry.
Barry: Don't do that. We love you.
Pops: It's not real! Don't feel!

Quote from Adam

Adam: Isn't there some private executive washroom with scented soaps instead of a giant metal river of wizz?

Quote from Murray

Murray: Hello, wonderful family who I'm not going to be seeing for next six, glorious hours.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Here I go. I'll probably get flattened by a truck. Not that you'll care.

Quote from Erica

Erica: Is our mom okay?
Officer: She's fine. I gave her a lift. Luckily for her, I driving down Old York Road and was temporarily blinded by the sunlight reflecting off her bejeweled jacket.
Barry: Where is she?
Officer: In the back of my cruiser with a little pack of tissues. She's pretty certain she failed as a mother.
Erica: I know this looks bad, but you have to understand, she uses guilt to get her way.
Officer: So she's like every mom? Except in this case, you abandoned her on the side of the road. Shame on you. Shame.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: I have one thing to say to you. That was [beep] up.

Quote from Pops

Pops: Have you ever wondered why they love hanging out with me so much? Because I don't force them to. Also, I'm pretty frickin' delightful.
Beverly: You are pretty delightful.
Pops: And so are you.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: This is literally my dream come true. Now they're under my thumb forever. I get to decide how they live, who they marry, where they take me on vacation. And all because they left me on the side of the road.

Quote from Adam

Murray: Again with the ghosts? There are no ghosts.
Adam: Sure. People don't die with unfinished business. Must be nice to live in your world.

Quote from Erica

Barry: You heard her. She could be flattened by a truck.
Erica: She's not a squirrel. We're ten minutes from home. She'll be fine.

Quote from Barry

Barry: It's a picture of you. See, you're smiling like you used to before we ditched you on the side of the road like human trash.

Quote from Beverly

Erica: This is so brutal.
Beverly: But one day, when you abandon me in an old age home and never visit, you'll look at these pictures and remember how much I loved you.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Baby, if you don't eat, then I have failed as a mother.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: When I die, don't have a funeral. I don't want to take up anyone's time.

Quote from Barry

Erica: Get back in the car, mom. We want to have a picnic with you, okay?
Barry: Yeah, I'm so stoked to eat chicken salad on the ground.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Movie? I thought we had plans to bedazzle all day.
Erica: I think you might have dreamed that.
Beverly: Well, it's possible, but we're all set up, so let's make those drab clothes sparkle.

Quote from Beverly

Barry: Oh my God, what is that?
Beverly: It's a harlequin clown, riding a unicorn, high fiving a dolphin. Duh.

Quote from Beverly

Barry: Yeah, now I think we're gonna pass on the debazzler.
Beverly: Okay, now you're embarrassing yourself. It's bedazzler, as in regular items become dazzled.

Quote from Murray

Beverly: You never told me that. Did you mark it in the calendar?
Murray: You have a calendar? Where's this calendar?
Beverly: It's on my desk.
Murray: Wait, you've got a desk? Where's this desk?

Quote from Murray

Murray: Come on, Bevvy, can't the boy stay home alone for the day? I mean he is eleven. Or fourteen. Or whatever.

Quote from Adam

Adam: What's that?
Murray: It's a trough. Aim for a cigarette butt and make a game of it.
Adam: Where's the dividers? Where's the handle to flush? Where's the dignity, man?

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: So, which boy is lost? His mother must be going insane. Oh, I snuck in some snacks. I've got microwave popcorn, some chips, and a beautiful tomato.
Barry: I don't want a tomato.
Beverly: Well, it's the last day before it turns. Somebody's gonna eat it.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: I'm gonna make us a dinner reservation at Red Lobster. Now, it's not Lobstober, or Shrimptember, or Clamuary, so you're gonna have to order carefully.

Quote from Barry

Pops: It's natural for teenagers to separate from their parents, but your mother loves you so much she'll never let that happen. That's why it's my job to- Why are you wearing that outfit?
Barry: You're gonna teach us how to fight mom, right?
Pops: No! I'm gonna teach you to combat at her guilt.
Barry: Oh, that makes more sense. Should I go change back?

Quote from Adam

Murray: When will this hand holding end already? For once in your life, be a man.
Adam: You don't think I'm a man?
Murray: All right, let me answer that question with this question. What superhero is on your underwear right now?
Adam: I outgrew those months ago!

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Wow, I am stuffed. What do you say we go home and burn off some of these calories with a little bedazzling?

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: If spending time with your mother is some kind of torture, then I'll just walk home. Stop the car.

Quote from Murray

Security guard: This kid of yours. What's he look like?
Murray: I don't know. He's a boy. He's normal looking. He's got hair, a face. I don't know. I don't look at him much.
Security guard: Okay. And how old is this boy?
Murray: Eleven. Or fourteen.

Quote from Pops

Pops: What are you nuts? You don't leave your mother on the side of the road. Who does that?

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Thank you for seeing me home safely, officer. It was very kind. You must be a wonderful son.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Your shading and tones don't quite capture my loving essence but I appreciate the effort.

Quote from Pops

Pops: Have you noticed when your mom tries to guilt me, it doesn't work? That's because of my simple mantra. It's not real, don't feel.
Barry: What's not real?
Pops: The pain she's in. The guilt and tears are just a manipulation.


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