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If You Build It

‘If You Build It’

Season 10, Episode 1 - Aired September 21, 2022

The Goldbergs are all under one roof again as they mourn the loss of their patriarch, Murray. As Beverly helps Erica and Geoff clear out room for a nursery, Barry and Adam are forced to share a bedroom.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: There she is. The oven that's baking my delicious grandchild.
Erica: Don't love the greeting, but I need you.
Beverly: Of course you do. I'm the most important person in your life. And soon, your baby's life.
Erica: What a fun and totally insane way of looking at it.


Quote from Beverly

Geoff: Wait, are you bedazzling disposable diapers?
Erica: "Schmoopy's Poopies." Normally, I would say whatever keeps you busy, but I need help cleaning up the house.
Beverly: The day has come. I'm passing down the vacuum to you. Now, the first lesson is to pretend the carpet is a maze.
Erica: No. Yuck. Never. Do you know what "nesting" is?
Beverly: News flash. [chuckles] Like a blond kangaroo, I pushed three perfect babies out of my...
Geoff: I'm in the room.
Beverly: ...warm...
Geoff: Please stop there.
Beverly: ...mama pouch.
Geoff: That's not even how a kangaroo gives birth.

Quote from Beverly

Geoff: Choo-choo! Baby gift train heading to Closet Station.
Beverly: You can turn that engine into a caboose, 'cause this closet is full of hundreds of Grammy-Baby matching jammies.
Geoff: Um.
Erica: One set seems like too many, but, okay, we'll just use the hall closet.
Beverly: No! No! No, no, no! Not the closet! Not... Not the hall closet!
Erica: Mom, let me just open the door.
Beverly: I said no.
Bill Lewis: [enters] I got your message, Bevy, so I came over to lend a hand... [closet door opens] My God, it's like a shrine to the Mur-man.
Geoff: Whoa. There's like ten yellow ones. I always thought it was just the one.
Bill Lewis: They hid so many mustard stains.
Virginia Kremp: The label just says "Shirt." And the size is, uh, "Man."
Beverly: Okay, fine! You all know my little secret! I've saved my husband's stain-and-wrinkle-resistant shirts. Are you happy?
Erica: Mom, I know it's tough, but while we're cleaning, maybe you should do some cleaning of your own?
Beverly: Look, I meant to go through all of his things, but... ...I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Maybe it's time. Let's go get some boxes.

Quote from Matt

Adult Adam: [v.o.] My plan to Field of Dreams Barry was in full swing, and I had hit it out of the park.
Naked Rob: What's the plan here, Big Tasty?
Andy: Yeah, why'd you ask me to bring my can-do attitude and "enough money for three days"?
Matt: Am I gonna be in the sun long? My milky fair skin looks flawless, but that's only because I stay vigilant.

Quote from Bill Lewis

Virginia Kremp: Surprise! It's a new Laura Ashley recliner!
Bill Lewis: It's a real beauty. Test drove it myself. Bill Lewis certified! Huh? [laughs]
Beverly: You get that piece of [bleep] out of my house, you [bleep] monsters!
Bill Lewis: I told you to get it in blue. My name is on the line here.
Virginia Kremp: Okay. Well, we thought because you gave away Murray's chair...
Beverly: My husband's chair had a name, Ginzy. Mr. Chair!
Bill Lewis: I was there when he named it. He had no passion for creativity.

Quote from Beverly

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Turns out, I had gone a step too far in pranking my brother. Meanwhile, my mom was ready to go to great lengths to find my dad's recliner.
Beverly: Okay, the first 24 hours a chair goes missing are the most crucial. Bill, I want you to take these flyers, put them on every telephone pole, tree, and bus stop in the city.
Bill Lewis: I'm on it.
Beverly: Ginzy, I want you to follow every pickup truck in town and peek into their homes. If you get a positive ID, do not call for backup. Just go in alone.
Virginia Kremp: I-I'm probably just gonna ask around.
Beverly: Good. Improvise. Go where the chairs are. Now, the three of us will split up and begin our grid pattern search of every den, basement, and rec room in America.
Geoff: Feels like a lot of ground to cover.
Beverly: I'm gonna cover you in ground if you don't do what I say. Is that clear?
Geoff: Very.
Erica: Stop fighting her, Geoff, and maybe we'll get lucky.
Beverly: Oh, speaking of Lucky. Take a good sniff, girl. Breathe in Murray's essence. Go find that chair. [dog barks] Go, Lucky, go! Good Lucky!
Erica: And now we're missing a dog.

Quote from Adam

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Back in the '80s, every summer seemed to zoom by, especially the last one before I went off to college. It was a whirlwind of change. First, my sister Erica was pregnant, so she and Geoff moved home because they were gonna need a lot of help. [all other voices sped up]
Beverly: I'm gonna be a grandma! Whoo-hoo!
Adult Adam: And my brother Barry got into medical school.
Barry: I'm basically a doctor!
Adult Adam: But unlike most doctors, he decided the best prescription was to move back into his childhood bedroom...
All: JTP!
Adult Adam: ...and invite his buddies over to destroy our house on a daily basis. Even my grandfather, Pop-Pop, decided to crash in our basement, shortly after he burned down his own apartment by overcooking beans.
Pop-Pop: I overcooked the beans.
Adult Adam: As for me, I was never more ready to escape to college.
Beverly: Barry!
Adult Adam: Yep, life moves fast, sometimes too fast, because that year, there was one change that made everything stop. Just a few months ago, out of nowhere, we lost my dad. We will always love you, Dad. Always. And we'll find a way to continue on together, because after all, we're the Goldbergs.

Quote from Geoff

Adult Adam: It was September 21st, 1980-something, and my sister Erica and her husband Geoff were preparing for a baby.
Pop-Pop: Will you stop grinning so much? It's distracting me from the Phillies blowing this game.
Geoff: I'm just learning so much from this best-selling book about the miracle of childbirth... What to Expect When You're Expecting.
Pop-Pop: The only thing a man should expect is gallstones.

Quote from Erica

Virginia Kremp: Oh, there's the glowing mother-to-be!
Erica: Come on. I look like crap.
Virginia Kremp: [gasps] You're creating life. You look like God's perfect angel.
Erica: I'm in sweats stained with three different kinds of ranch.
Geoff: Three?
Erica: I'm pregnant! Leave me alone!
Geoff: Yeah. No. It's good.
Virginia Kremp: That's a fun peek behind your marriage curtain.

Quote from Erica

Virginia Kremp: Look what I brought for the baby.
Erica: Does it come in large?
Virginia Kremp: Well, the giraffe is a quiet animal. I thought that would be a good thing for this household.
Pop-Pop: We got no room for your oversized crap, lady!
Erica: Mrs. Kremp, you know my grandpa.
Virginia Kremp: Yes, Murray's eulogy was very short.
Pop-Pop: You know what's not short? That long-necked horse. Why don't you saddle it up and ride it on out of here?

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