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30Quotes from ‘The Most Handsome Boy on the Planet’

The Goldbergs: The Most Handsome Boy on the Planet

209. The Most Handsome Boy on the Planet

Aired December 10, 2014

When Barry is approached by a modeling representative in the mall, Barry is convinced he’ll be famous but Erica believes it’s a scam so Beverly threatens the modeling rep to give him a gig or else. Later, Adam runs into his Pop Pop, Murray’s grumpy dad, and thinks he can help mend the fences between estranged father and son.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: I've been saying it for years but now it's finally been confirmed. My little monkey is the most handsome boy on the planet!

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Quote from Beverly

Beverly: It's just the normal fireworks of a creative partnership. We really are the Lennon-McCartney of mother-son modelling teams.

Quote from Murray

Murray: I didn't even like the stupid movie. Dumb little alien. All he wanted to do was go home, then he turns all white and crusty like an old dog turd. He loved that boy, but still he had to leave. I don't want to talk about the damn movie any more.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: There may not be an actual Kokomo, but we're gonna make enough supermodel money to build one.

Quote from Beverly

Barry: Great news, everyone. I've been personally selected to be a world famous model.
Beverly: Well, I think you're limiting yourself at world famous, but continue.

Quote from Barry

Barry: No, my plan is to retire this face at thirty-eight because I'm realistic and I know these looks won't last. So I start a super popular fashion line called Barry Comfortable, and then boom. I retire to a beach mansion in Kokomo without you.

Quote from Murray

Murray: Wait a minute, you've seen this movie that many times? Why are you dragging me here with the damn holiday crowds? It's about a puppet!
Adam: A puppet? Is Fozzie Bear just a puppet? Is Alf just a puppet? Is Yoda?
Murray: Yes, those are all puppets.

Quote from Pops

Adam: Unless it's not the puppet, but what the puppet represents. We all know that E.T.'s about an absent father, right?
Pops: No. What movie were you watching? All I saw was a magic frog-man make a telephone out of a Speak & Spell.

Quote from Barry

Barry: I just learned that something we're really stoked about's a total sham. There is no Kokomo.
Beverly: What?
Barry: I just made some calls to the airlines to price up tickets, turns out the Beach Boys made it up.

Quote from Barry

Barry: I think I got upset because no one ever told me I was handsome before.
Beverly: What? Every day I tell you you're the most handsome boy in the world.
Barry: But here's the thing. Your words mean nothing to me. But when a stranger said it, then I realized it was true. And nothing can change that. Even you being a model, too. So let's do it. Let's supermodel together.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: You think you'll survive in Kokomo without your mother? Wrong! Kokomo will chew you up and spit you out.

Quote from Adam

Adam: Who watches E.T. and sides with the FBI agents? Who does that?

Quote from Barry

Talent scout: Sweet butt mug, bro.
Barry: Sure is.
Talent scout: Have we met before? Perhaps at the Gucci show in Milan, Italy?
Barry: Mmm, no.
Talent scout: Oh, sorry. Where do you model?
Barry: Where do I what?
Talent scout: Model. I mean, clearly someone with your symmetrical face, perfect bone structure, and jazzy hair is already working the circuit, right?
Barry: You know, that hadn't occurred to me yet, but it makes total sense.

Quote from Beverly

Photographer: You see, I get a ton of calls for mother/son teams, but it's always actors playing a part. I've never seen a mother love her child so much.
Beverly: That's because no mother ever has loved her child so much.

Quote from Adam

Adam: I don't get it. How do you not feel bad for E.T.?
Pop Pop: I felt sorry for those poor feds because they couldn't examine him properly 'cause that stupid kid was always getting in the way.
Adam: What?
Pop Pop: That Elliott ought to be locked up. You see something, you report it.
Adam: Who watches "E.T." and sides with the FBI agents? Who does that?!
Pop Pop: An American. That martian had a magic finger. We don't know if he can weaponize that.
Adam: It's not a weapon. That finger's for healing purposes only.
Pop Pop: But we don't know till we cut him up and see how he ticks.

Quote from Barry

Erica: Dude, you're not a model.
Barry: Just for saying that, you're not invited to my ocean-side condo in Kokomo where I'll windsurf with the Beach Boys.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Hey, Barry was born to model. Okay, maybe not born because of his skull shape. But when that helmet came off, it was like looking at a baby boy version of Cheryl Tiegs.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hands off the money maker.

Quote from Adam

Adam: Man, I'm so psyched that we're seeing ET again. It's the tenth time but it feels like the third.

Quote from Pops

Pops: After twenty-five years, the man cries at a puppet. It makes no sense.

Quote from Pops

Pops: That is not a nice man. Watch this. Long time no see, Ben. Looking good.
Pop Pop: So you think you're better than me, huh?

Quote from Barry

Barry: Now, if you excuse me, I need to get some beauty rest. Wake me in 14 hours.
Beverly: Wait. Why don't you put some cucumbers on your eyes like the models do?
Barry: Ahh, oh, yeah. I feel it burning already.
Beverly: Burning?
Barry: Aargh, it burns so much!
Beverly: Oh, no. I already dressed the salad. It's lemon pepper vinaigrette.
Barry: Argh, argh. My eyes, my beautiful deep brown eyes!

Quote from Adam

Erica: No way. That's impossible. Dad doesn't cry, ever.
Adam: I know what I saw. Human tears coming out of his face.

Quote from Adam

Adam: You cried! When E.T. phoned home, he left, and you cried, and I saw it.

Quote from Adam

Adam: What's your favorite thing in life?
Pops: One word family.
Pop Pop: When I was 6 years old, I worked in a button factory. There was a terrible fire, but I got two days off. Two glorious days!

Quote from Adam

Adam: What's your best memory with your kids?
Pops: The day Bev was born.
Adam: Pop Pop?
Pop Pop: I got hit by a car when I was 29. It was a terrible accident. But I got some money in the settlement, and decided to invest it in a new company called 7-UP. Well, until my genius son talked me out of it. He hated clear soda. And I missed out on the biggest opportunity of my life!
Adam: That's your best memory?
Pop Pop: I thought you said worst.


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