TV Quotes

Beverly: [beep] me sideways. I have raised some thoughtful children.

Erica: Mom, I need you to get heavily involved with your son in an inappropriate way.
Beverly: I'm in. You name it. I'll do it.

Pops: Wanna know my secret? Hanging out with my best friend keeps me young. Now, what do you say you run your grandpa over with the car?
Adam: I'd love to.

Pops: Look, everyone has their time. But I'm here, I'm awesome and I'm not going anywhere any time soon, kiddo.

Beverly: Somebody stole my baby. Well, not real baby, fake baby. It's a toy. Somebody stole my toy! I'm going to get attitude from my son's pretend wife. Can someone call the police? Or Toys 'r Us? I don't [beep] know any more.

Beverly: Are you crying?
Adam: No.
Beverly: Who hurt you? Tell me and I will hurt them tenfold.

Virginia Kremp: Oh please, I've seen Adam doing horseplay when I have specifically requested no horse play. He's no angel.
Beverly: Oh, he is an angel. He could literally sprout wings and take flight at any moment.