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‘A Goldberg Thanksgiving’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Goldbergs: A Goldberg Thanksgiving

207. A Goldberg Thanksgiving

Aired November 19, 2014

After Erica mocks her mom's Jazzercise obsession, Beverly bets Erica she couldn't handle her work-out routine. When Erica wins the challenge, she gets out of cooking Thanksgiving dinner with Beverly, despite it being one of her mother's most treasured traditions. Beverly tries to win Erica back, but she wins another bet and decides to spend Thanksgiving at Lainey's house instead. Meanwhile, Uncle Marvin is in town and bonds with Adam over a share love of video games, which Murray doesn't understand.

Quote from Adam

Adam: Stop bunting!
Murray: I can't stop bunting!
Adam: Just push the "pause" button.
Murray: Well, which is the "pause" button?
Adam: Stop mashing the buttons with your giant sausage fingers.

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Quote from Barry

Barry: You're running. That's against the rules. But I'll allow it 'cause I don't care.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Oh, it hurts. Ow! Something happened in my downstairs. It's just north of my vajingo.

Quote from Barry

Murray: We'll order Chinese.
Barry: Oh, no, you won't! The stakes are too high. I need this meal. I need to be knocked motionless by meat and gravy. I need to eat until my pants grow tight and I move into elastic sweats. Will I ever touch that weird, gloppy cranberry thing? Probably not. But I deserve to find out. Give me this. Give me Thanksgiving.

Quote from Barry

Beverly: I'm sorry, love bug. I tried, but I can't. My groin is out of commission.
Barry: Then let me be your groin.

Quote from Barry

Beverly: You're burning the rolls. I didn't say 600. I said 375.
Barry: I'm not a scientist!

Quote from Barry

Beverly: You haven't even cleaned the turkey yet.
Barry: I told you I'm not reaching my hand in a turkey's butt! No way!

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: You came home.
Erica: I guess I didn't want to miss out on our tradition.
Beverly: Oh, my little turkey. I cooked you in my oven!

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Well, make fun all you want, but you wouldn't last a minute in my class.
Erica: I get the feeling I'd manage.
Beverly: Put your money where your mouth is, come to class with me. When you collapse halfway through from exhaustion, I win. And then, we jazzercise three days a week for a month.
Erica: So, somehow, this has become a ploy to get me to hang with you?
Beverly: It is moving in that direction, yes.

Quote from Murray

Adam: Yes! First place!
Murray: What is this? What am I looking at?
Adam: It's "Track & Field." I just won a gold medal.
Murray: A video game with people running and jumping. Why don't you go outside and run and jump like a regular kid?

Quote from Murray

Murray: Hey, how would you like to play some video games. You know, like "Froggerman" or "Donkey Kid"?
Adam: You want to play video games?
Murray: Oh, yeah! I love video games. They're not a waste of time. And you learn valuable lessons, even though they're dumb.

Quote from Erica

Beverly: But this time, no jazzercise. We're gonna power walk.
Erica: You mean that non-running thing you do every morning?
Beverly: Did you know that the world's fastest power walker out-walked a cheetah?
Erica: Yeah, that's not true.

Quote from Beverly

Erica: Stop! Stop power walking into my body!
Beverly: The Bevernator stops for no one.

Quote from Adam

Murray: You can't honestly be angry at me for not letting you roam around the country with your uncle. He'd lose you at the first rest stop.
Adam: Well, it's your loss, 'cause I could have been the champion and won it all Money, mansions, yachts, fast cars, fast women.
Murray: I think you may be overestimating the prizes.
Adam: Of course I am! The world of high-stakes Nintendo isn't even real.

Quote from Adam

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Every year, I'd bond with my dad over a game of football and astound him with my total lack of knowledge.
Adam: It's like the throwing one knows exactly where the running one is going.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: This sacred recipe box was your Nana's most prized possession, and we will continue the tradition by firing up the stove by 5:00 A.M. sharp tomorrow. And if all goes smoothly, by 9:00 A.M., we'll be elbow deep in a 20-pound butterball.
Erica: Or we nuke some hungry-man dinners and call it a day.
Beverly: Wow. I didn't know you were in the business of destroying all your Nana's favorite things.

Quote from Erica

Beverly: Come on, come on and work that boogie body And whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Join in!
Erica: Oh, I'd like to, but I'm lying.

Quote from Erica

Erica: You ready for this? Look at me. I'm jazzercising. I'm a sad mom with no shame. No, don't join in. I'm mocking you.

Quote from Pops

Murray: Why don't you play with the boy?
Pops: No can do. Gives me finger cramps. And I need these hands to massage the ladies' feet.
Adam: It's his closer.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: That's what you're gonna wear to get in the groove? Are you insane?
Erica: Some might say what you're wearing is insane.
Beverly: For your information, spandex wicks away sweat while enhancing muscle tone and skeletal girth.

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