Murray: And no monkeying around out there when you're done. This weather is treacherous.
Adam: Oh, here we go. Another lecture on the dangers of cold weather.
Murray: I'm serious. It's not safe out there. You got frostbite, avalanches, and deadly icicles.
Barry: Icicles aren't deadly. They're refreshing and delicious.
Murray: They're knives that can fall from the sky at any moment. Sky knives! They kill a billion people a year.
Adam: That seems high.

Barry: You chilly? I sure am. Might as well just crank up this bad boy.
Murray: Hey, you know no one touches that thermostat. It stays locked in at a comfortable 63 degrees, no higher!
Barry: 87 temperature of the rich.
Murray: 87 degrees? What do you think this is, the sun?

Adam: This must be what the other Adam Goldberg in school feels like all the time. He's a loose cannon and lives on his own terms.

Beverly: Dad, I stumbled upon something incredible hidden in Erica's room, and I need to tell someone, but I can't because she'll never forgive me. Okay, you twisted my arm, so here it is. I'm Erica's hero. Me, baby, me!
Pops: Well, I'm glad this worked out for you.
Beverly: You know what this means, right? I have succeeded as a mother. Now, I know there were times when I quietly wondered if I had failed as a mother, but now I know the truth. Success!

Murray: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Did you two get into my four-quadrant popcorn tin?
Barry: Relax. We were just sniffing it.
Murray: Stand up and show me your fingers. If I see any cheese dust, you're both grounded.
Adam: Dust-free. You happy?
Barry: Dude, you're unbelievable. Popcorn is the snack of the people.
Murray: No. It's a snack for dads only. I get one tin a year from my armoire dealer in Cincinnati. It's the only thing that gets me through the season.
Adam: There are so many sad things in that sentence, but I honestly think the winner is "Cincinnati."

Murray: You two are grounded. No telephone. No Atari. No robits. Now get upstairs.

Radio Announcer: [v.o.] The following schools are closed in Montgomery County-
Adam: It's gonna happen. I can feel it.
Erica: Shut up. You're gonna jinx it.
Barry: Please, God, if you give us a snow day, I promise I'll be a good boy for the rest of my life.
Radio Announcer: Abington High closed, Germantown West closed, William Penn Academy open.
Adam: Balls?
Erica: Why?!
Barry: I'm back to being a bad boy. This is on you, Mother Nature.

Erica: Am I still asleep, or did he just say William Penn is closed?
Adam: He said "closed." School is closed.
Barry: This is the best day of my life! I feel so alive.
Beverly: Yeah! Snow day means a full day of snuggle time with mama.
Barry: Yeah!
Beverly: Get in here! Get it.
Erica: I'm so happy, I don't have the will to fight her off.
All: Snow Day! Snow Day! Snow Day!

Beverly: I read the topic "Describe a personal hero who's changed the course of your life."
Erica: Mom, stop.
Beverly: Let's brainstorm. What makes a hero? Hmm? Someone who's great at crafting, matchmaking, parming chicken or shrimp or eggplant or meatballs.

Pops: Bevy, she clearly picked someone else, perhaps a decorated war vet who had a date with two different Shirleys last night. That's right.
Beverly: Pops?! (scoffs) You picked the random old guy who just hangs around our house all day, eating our smoked fish? (chuckles) Choo-choo! Next stop, Lametown.
Pops: Hey, I liberated an entire country. I helped saved lives.
Beverly: (imitates snoring) Oh! Oh, sorry, I drifted off to sleep there.
Erica: Okay, this turned ugly fast.