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44Quotes from ‘Livin' on a Prayer’

The Goldbergs: Livin' on a Prayer

123. Livin' on a Prayer

Aired May 13, 2014

When Murray's high school free throw record is broken, his old school invites him to attend a game as a guest of honor. After Beverly eventually talks a reluctant Murray into attending the banquet, he actually starts to enjoy reliving his glory days, until the crowd turns on him after an embarrassing basketball shot. Back at the Goldberg house, Barry tries to throw a house party to finally make a name for himself in high school. When the party looks to be a bust, Erica calls her friends to turn it around, but Barry soon realizes nobody at his epic party even knows who he is.

Quote from Adam

Adult Adam: [v.o.] When it comes to my childhood, I may not always remember exactly when something happened, or exactly who was there, but I do know that it was 1980-something and it was awesome.

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Quote from Erica

Erica: You! Stop making out in my dad's chair. He lives there.

Quote from Murray

Murray: Here's the thing about that. Pass.
Beverly: No pass.
Murray: Pass!
Beverly: I already told them you'd be there.
Murray: Why would you do that? You know I don't have an interest in things.

Quote from Murray

Adam: (playing a video game with Barry) Pull up! Pull up! You're gonna crash the plane.
Murray: I was in a plane crash once. Nap time.

Quote from Murray

Beverly: Why are you so mad at me? I saw the look on your face. You were thrilled to be back out there on that court.
Murray: You know why I don't talk about the past? I'm 'a tell you. Because it was great. I was class president. I was a basketball star. I was a hero. And now I'm just none of those things.
Beverly: Have you ever tried shooting the ball this way?
Murray: It was a very common shooting style!

Quote from Lainey

Lainey: So, why you out here, missing your own party?
Barry: Well, it has come to my attention that this is Erica's party, and I'm just a big, giant, invisible bag of suck.
Lainey: Oh, come on. You're not invisible. You're Barry Goldberg, the guy who freaked out on the lunch lady because they ran out of pudding.

Quote from Murray

Barry: Mom, dad, why are you home? You're supposed to be at the hotel. There was a banquet. Who skips a banquet?
Murray: A party?! I don't even like my own kids, let alone a house full of other people's!

Quote from Beverly

Murray: Time's up! Get the hell out of my house!
Beverly: And leave my [beep] sweaters!

Quote from Lainey

Barry: Why is that the only thing anyone ever remembers about me?
Lainey: Hey, they promised pudding. They had no pudding.
Barry: It was a dark day.
Lainey: Mmm.
Lainey: Look, I know you feel like this year was a bust, but you did a ton of cool stuff karate in the talent show. You're on the wrestling team. You did that rap video about stone cold groovin' on a Ferris wheel.
Barry: You like my rap?
Lainey: It's hilarious. Wait, that's what you were going for, right?
Barry: Yeah! How do you know so much stuff about me?
Lainey: Your sister's my best friend. I've known you my whole life, and I can honestly say there's no one like you.

Quote from Murray

Murray: Hey, you morons. Stop being morons.

Quote from Barry

Murray: All right, all fixed.
Barry: Wow! Where did you learn how to do that?
Murray: Army.
Barry: What? Did you say army?

Quote from Murray

Erica: Dad, is this you and Lou Reed?
Murray: Yeah, we, uh, waited tables together.
Erica: What? Tell me more.
Murray: Eh, it was a whole thing.
Erica: Wait, come back. I want to know you!

Quote from Adam

Beverly: Oh, my God, Murray, you're not gonna believe it. I just got off the phone with your old high school. Your record has been broken.
Erica: Whoa, wait. Dad had a record in high school? What kind of record?
Adam: Chili! He loves chili. It's something to do with chili.
Beverly: True, but that's not it.

Quote from Murray

Beverly: Your dad set the record for most free throws in a row at Central High.
Barry: Like, in basketball? What are you talking about?
Murray: What can I say? We won state. I hit 79 free throws in a row. Uh, what do you want from me?

Quote from Adam

Beverly: Murray, the high school wants you to go back so they can honor you at the game Saturday night.
We get to stay downtown, and there's gonna be a banquet.
Adam: A banquet? That's the fanciest of all food parties!

Quote from Murray

Erica: Is this for real? I mean, we've never even seen you touch a basketball.
Barry: Yeah, I mean, I can't believe this. It's one of my dreams to play in the NBA, and you never once mentioned it?
Murray: Didn't see how it was relevant.

Quote from Murray

Barry: What you gonna do? What you gonna do? Huh? Huh? What you gonna do? What you gonna do?
Murray: Not much more than what I'm doing right now.
Barry: I want you to show me what you got, free-throw king!
Murray: Are we, uh, done here yet?
Barry: No. You were clearly some type of popular high school god. Tell me what it was like.
Murray: I don't know. I, uh, dated a lot of girls. I went to parties. I got elected class president a few times. Lunch lady gave me free jell-o. Eh, the usual.

Quote from Barry

Barry: That's the opposite of my life. The lunch lady said I look like the warlord who burnt down her village.

Quote from Barry

Barry: 'Sup, Lexy Bloom? Ready to break the seal on this new yearbook, or what?
Lexy: Uh, sure.
Barry: "Have a bitchin' summer, Gustav"? I'm not the Swedish exchange student! I'm speaking English to you!

Quote from Erica

Barry: I've spent all year trying to make a name for myself, and Lexy Bloom still doesn't know who I am.
Erica: She's so lucky.

Quote from Lainey

Barry: If only there was a way to, like, have a casual get-together with the coolest kids from school, like, at our house, but without the formal, sit-down dinner.
Lainey: I think you're describing a party.

Quote from Barry

Barry: High-school friends, this Saturday night, I'm inviting you to the best party in the history of William Penn Academy, thrown by yours truly!
Student: We love you, Gustav!
Barry: No, I'm Barry Goldberg! Doesn't matter. Party at my place!

Quote from Adam

Adam: Oh, man. My first high-school party with R-rated language and adult situations. This is my "Risky Business."
Barry: Damn right! There's gonna be dancing, fistfights, pizzas on record players, hot cheerleaders jumping from the roof into the pool.
Adam: We don't have a pool.
Barry: Don't we? Blow this up.
Adam: Sweet! I'm gonna go grab my inhaler and get started.

Quote from Barry

Beverly: Okay, love bugs. Pops is in charge while we're away for the evening. Have fun.
Barry: No fun here. We're just gonna sit here bored to death waiting for you to come home.
Beverly: Oh, well, in that case, throw on some shoes and join us. I insist.
Barry: Then it's settled. We're coming.
Pops: What are you doing?
Barry: Panicking.
Murray: Okay, if the kids come with us, I'm staying home.
Barry: Great! Stay.
Adam: What's wrong with you?!
Barry: The more the merrier.
Adam: You're a stupid, stupid boy.
Pops: You two just go. I'll hold down the fort.
Barry: That was a close one. We make a good team guys.

Quote from Beverly

Host: Just want to take a quick moment to welcome back Murray Goldberg. In honor of his 25-year-old record, we'd like to present him with a ball signed by the entire team. Murray, come on down.
Beverly: Whoo! Hey, hot stuff!

Quote from Pops

Pops: Look look what's happening in there. It's a pure sausage fest.
Barry: [o.s.] The Bugles are for hot chicks only!
Pops: You're a popular girl. Invite some of your friends over. The poor guy needs this.

Quote from Adam

Barry: Is the party like a rap video, or what?
Adam: Move over, Aunt Rose's 50th. This is the hottest party this dining room's ever seen.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Whoa, girl. I see you found the V.I.P. section.
Lexy: What makes this the V.I.P. section?
Barry: 'Cause I'm here. Anything you want, I'll make it happen. Fruit roll-ups? Bagel bites? Flintstone vitamins? The world's your oyster, baby!

Quote from Erica

Erica: What the hell?! That's my mom's. Why are you wearing that?
Nitrous: Oh, it's a sweater party.
Erica: That's not a thing.

Quote from Pops

Pops: This is officially nuts. You need to put an end to this
Erica: Me?! You're the adult!
Pops: I'm the cool grandpa. I can't be the bummer. You be the bummer.

Quote from Erica

Erica: What the hell are you doing?!
Barry: It's a sweater party.
Erica: That's not a thing!

Quote from Barry

Lainey: What's shaking, Gustav?
Barry: [scoffs] I wish I was Gustav. Except for that weird fish lunch he always brings.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Murray. Oh, my God. They're wearing my sweaters!
Barry: No, those aren't yours. It's a look that's happening. Watch MTV!
Beverly: Yeah, I'm sure all the young boys are wearing leopard sweaters. Hey, that's my leopard!

Quote from Beverly

Barry: Clearly, you're gonna kill me, and-
Murray: Yes. Yes, I am!
Beverly: Do it, Murray. Do it with your hands.

Quote from Barry

Barry: I'm nothing like you, dad. I don't dominate in high school. I don't hold sports records. People only know me 'cause I get angry at pudding. Listen, you've had your glory days, and they sounded awesome. But this, in there, this is the best I'm ever gonna do.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Oh, Boopie. That's so sad. But you are in so much trouble. But aww!

Quote from Murray

Barry: I'm begging you. This is my moment. All I'm asking for is seven more hours of nonstop partying.
Beverly: Absolutely not.
Murray: You got 10 minutes.
Barry: Seriously?
Murray: Yeah, but do me a favor. Make this a night you'll always remember.
Barry: You are the greatest father on this planet.

Quote from Murray

Beverly: Awful parenting choice. Just awful.
Murray: You've seen him run. He needs this.

Quote from Beverly

Nitrous: What a night! So, you got any OJ?
Beverly: Sorry, what the hell are you doing here?
Nitrous: Passed out in the basement during the party.
Beverly: Take off my sweater and get out.
Nitrous: What's in it for me?
Beverly: Nothing. It's my sweater.
Nitrous: Fine. Show me your boobs.
Beverly: No.
Nitrous: Then give me $1 million.
Beverly: No.
Nitrous: I'd very much like to revisit the boob conversation.
Beverly: I feel like we've done this once before.
Nitrous: Did it end in boobs?
Beverly: No. Tell me something. When was the last time you had a balanced breakfast?
Nitrous: Every day. Protein from beef jerky, energy from frosting.
Beverly: Sweetie, sit down. I'm gonna make you some food, you're gonna eat it, then you're gonna take off my sweater and get the hell out.


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