Pops: Hey, kiddo, we need to talk about the rules if you want to go swimming. You got to wear the required bathing cap.
Erica: No, I'm not gonna wear a required bathing cap.
Pops: You got to wear the required bathing cap.
Itzel: Look at all that hair, Albert!
Pops: I'm handling it, Itzel!
Itzel: That's all gonna end up in the filter if she doesn't wear the required bathing cap!
Pops: You got to wear the required bathing cap.

Murray: Stop! Nobody speak. There's no way I'm paying for all you morons to go gallivanting around the sub-tropics.
Beverly: You weren't even in the room. How do you know what's going on?
Murray: I heard money being spent!
Erica: Well, there is one way this trip could cost you a fraction of the price.
Murray: Well, that's what I want to do. That thing. Whatever her cheap idea is.

Barry: I just miss Pops so much that I can't stop the sad water dripping from my eye holes.
Beverly: And now I'm crying 'cause you're crying.
Erica: I miss him, too, Bar. Wait, this gives me a fresh idea. What if we went to visit him?
Barry: Please, Mom? Let me see my grandpapa in Georgia?
Beverly: Florida, honey.
Erica: Ugh, so swampy. Oh, well, this is about Pops and not us.
Beverly: Well, then, it's decided. Look out, world! The Goldbergs are going to Florida!

Beverly: You do know that Essie and Ginzy and Linda all have them, right?
Murray: I don't know who those people are.
Beverly: They're my best friends. You've had dinner with them many times.

Beverly: It's a fur [bleep] coat! Ooh, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you!

Jazzercise Instructor: Beverly, we're starting. Sure you don't want to lose the top layer?
Beverly: I'm fine. Thank you. My husband bought me a fur coat. He does very well for himself.

Itzel: Tell your grandkids no splashing or running or yelling or horseplay.
Pops: That's Itzel playing cribbage. I'm handling it, Itzel! Try to steer clear of Itzel.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was now clear they weren't in the Spring Break seen on MTV. This was the grandparent part of Florida, filled with the oldest of farts.
Barry: Here's a knish. It's all they had at the snack bar.
Erica: A knish?
Barry: A fried dough pocket filled with potatoes and oil.
Erica: I know what a knish is. It's the last thing I want to eat in the sun.

Barry: Let's just sit and lay low-
Erica: We can't sit. This little footrest is all I could find for us. The old fart altacockers get up at the crack of dawn to reserve chairs.
Barry: I'm not waking up at the crack of dawn for a pool chair.
Erica: We have to, Barry. From now on, we come here at 5:00 A.M. and sit on a chaise in the darkness until the day starts.
Barry: Screw that! I'll just float all day in the pool.
Erica: No. Rafts and kickboards are against the rules. Same goes for running, chicken fighting, diving, and cannon-balling.
Barry: But that's my signature entry into the water!

Geoff: I'll go get Erica.
Adam: She's in Florida on Spring Break.
Geoff: Wait, my girlfriend went to MTV Spring Break and didn't even tell me?
Dave Kim: Sounds like trouble in paradise. Dave Kim smells a door opening.
Geoff: What?
Dave Kim: I'm not gonna hide my feelings, bro. I'm actively rooting against you.