Beverly: And I'm not saying other people don't love their children, I'm just saying I love mine way more than they love theirs. So, to sum it all up, Momma Hawk's gonna miss Baby Bird.

Murray: Okay, you're rage-cleaning. Before you wipe a hole in the counter, tell me what I did.

Barry: Surprise! It's Barry!
Lainey: Oh, my God. What are you doing?
Barry: I'm the fighting quaker! I thought dressing in a giant, rubber Donald Sutherland head would be the perfect way of making things less weird between us.

Beverly: I love you, Boopie. I love you so much. Hey you, with the window open, tell my baby I love him. Adam if you need to make, call me. I'll pick you up.

Barry: So, this is what you do. You march up to Dana. You gently cup her beautiful face in your hands. Look deep into her brown eyes. And attack her one weakness. Like, "You've got Gremlin ears, girl."
Pops: Don't do that.
Barry: Do that!
Pops: Don't do that.

Murray: That was my first and last "I Love You", ever!

Murray: Is that a new jacket?
Erica: It is. I love you, Dad.

Coach Mellor: Son, I've been here a long time and I've seen kids pull that fire alarm for a lot of different reasons. What's yours? Pop quiz in chemistry?
Adam: No.
Coach Mellor: Arousing daydream?
Adam: No!
Coach Mellor: Inner-fart that fooled you?
Adam: Worse.
Coach Mellor: Ooh. I'm intrigued.

Adam: I gotta do something. Dana and her family are going away for the summer. What if she meets a guy while she's in Seattle?
Barry: Why are you worried about some dude from Canada?

Barry: You can't tell a girl you love her. It ruins everything. Trust me.
Pops: Please don't trust him.
Barry: Love is dangerous and it can injure people. Like a ninja riding on a sabre-tooth tiger.
Pops: Please don't trust him.