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‘Boy Barry’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Goldbergs: Boy Barry

305. Boy Barry

Aired October 21, 2015

Upset by Barry's insecurity in their relationship, Lainey sets out to teach him a lesson with Erica's help. However, the situation turns into something totally different and Barry goes to school dressed like Boy George hoping it will change. Meanwhile, Beverly doesn't approve Murray's new mustache so she shaves it off but it backfires.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Lainey's in love with another man?!
Erica: You're dating a girl way out of your league. It was bound to happen.
Barry: Who is it?! Tell me. I'll destroy him with my hands and feet.

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Quote from Erica

Barry: So, this was all a lie? You were just messing with me? How could you do this? You're my girlfriend.
I mean, do you really want to hurt me?
Erica: Oh, my God. It's happening.
Barry: Do you really want to make me cry?
Erica: He's saying it for real.

Quote from Murray

Murray: You know, I used to think his was a lip wig, but he swims with it. That's the real deal!

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: You know, the only reason he grew that mug rug is 'cause Bill pushed him into it. I'm telling you, the guy's a bad influence.
Pops: So, it's not the fakakte mustache you hate, it's Bill.
Beverly: Stop, I like Bill all right. Well, except for the way he dresses, drives, walks, talks, eats, thinks, laughs, and tilts his stupid bald head to the side when he's confused.

Quote from Erica

Lainey: Oh, my God! What did you tell him?
Erica: That you're in love with another boy - George.

Quote from Beverly

Bill: You used to call the shots with Murray, but now you're just passing through Bill country.
Beverly: We'll see who calls the shots when I get him to shave off his mustache.
Bill: Don't you dare! He looks powerful and handsome, like a circus strong-man.
Beverly: Well, I think he looks like he's got [bleep] on his face.

Quote from Lainey

Lainey: There has to be something I can do. Like Chuck Norris. Barry loves that dude. Maybe he can apologize for me. Chuck seems like an accessible guy, right?
Erica: Barry's written to Chuck a few times. I think that's a dead end.
Lainey: Maybe I can jump something to impress Barry, or body slam Adam, or challenge an animal to a fight. What's the name of that horse that Barry has a problem with?

Quote from Lainey

Lainey: If embarrassing myself gets me one more kiss from his drooly, cheeto-dusted lips, I'm in.
Erica: (gipping) I'm sorry, I ca - I can't be with you right now. I just can't.

Quote from Barry

Erica: For $5,000, it's the title of a play.
Barry: Death of a salesmat.
Erica: Really? What's a salesmat?
Barry: How would I know? I'm not a salesmat salesman.
Lainey: Aww, so close, baby.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: And now that you two are best bros, you're not only important to him, you're important to me.
Bill: Thanks, Beverly. That means a lot.
Beverly: Which is why I've decided, out of the goodness of my heart and because I'm a decent person who cares deeply for my husband, to change you.
Bill: Wait. What?
Beverly: Bill, you don't have a woman in your life telling you all the things you do that are wrong and stupid. I will be that woman.
Bill: Actually, I really haven't missed that very much.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Look, I'm not trying to change who you are. I just want to fix how you dress, drive, walk, talk, eat, think, and laugh.
Bill: That seems like almost all of me.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: He looks like a criminal or the tenor in a damn barbershop quartet.

Quote from Pops

Pops: Don't go around saying your husband's in a barbershop quartet. That is the lowest form of musical entertainment. Just use an instrument, damn it.

Quote from Murray

Murray: A mustache comb! And all this time, I've been using a brush with a handle like a jackass.
Bill: Give it a whirl, Mur. Take it down to whisker town.
Beverly: Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you kidding me with this? We should be talking about shaving, not grooming.
Bill: Come on, lady, everyone knows a man's face is his castle.
Murray: His castle, you say?
Bill: Oh, yeah. And the mustache is the moat of the mouth. Without it, the fortress falls.
Murray: Who knew? I didn't.

Quote from Murray

Bill: In fact, the mustache is named after the Earl of Mustache. What did he do? Well, he was from Mustache, France, and one day he was like, "I'm gonna grow some hair right here."
Murray: You can not argue with history, Bevy.

Quote from Erica

Erica: Oh, cool. Barry's doing that sweet trick where he damages his head again.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Well, hello, Lainey. This is all for you, girl. Time to put myself in serious danger. Hot, right?

Quote from Erica

Lainey: What is Barry's deal? It's like he gets more needy and insecure every day.
Erica: I live with him. It's constant.
Lainey: God, I wish there was some way to snap him out of it.
Erica: Well, if the goal is to show Barry what an idiot he's being, I do have years of wonderful experience.
Lainey: So you'd help teach him a lesson?
Erica: Unleash me.
Lainey: I don't know, you look too excited right now.
Erica: Excited to help my friend.
Lainey: Okay, I'm desperate. Let's do it. Promise you won't be too mean, though.
Erica: Promise.

Quote from Barry

Erica: It's him.
Barry: Boy George? From the glam-pop band Culture Club? What does he have that I don't have?
Erica: He's cute, he's cool, he's stylish everything you're not.
Barry: Then it's settled. I'm flying to England and challenging him to a duel. Maybe I'll even slip him my demo tape. No, I will not get distracted!

Quote from Barry

Erica: Dude, you're missing the point. If you can rock this look, you can rock Lainey's heart.
Barry: Yes. I don't have to destroy Boy George. I can be Boy George. Or should I say "Barry George"?
Erica: You should say "Boy Barry".
Barry: Really? Barry George sounds better.
Erica: It really doesn't.
Barry: Boy Barry it is. Thanks, Erica. I have no idea how I'll ever pay you back.
Erica: Money's fine.
Barry: I'll smash my piggy bank. That'll do. Mom, you need to vacuum in here!

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