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22Quotes from ‘The Other Smother’

The Goldbergs: The Other Smother

113. The Other Smother

Aired January 14, 2014

When Beverly takes Erica and Barry to the college fair, she runs into her nemesis, Betsy Rubenstone, "the other smother". Beverly and Betsy have an unhealthy rivalry over whose kids are better, so when Betsy's kid drops out of the race for school treasurer, Beverly pushes for Barry to run unopposed. Meanwhile, Murray tries to rent a video for Adam but he disputes an outstanding movie fee, leading to a feud with the video store.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: You're not going to school in Hawaii. It's surrounded by sharks.

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Quote from Erica

Erica: I need you to listen to this fake argument about trickle-down economics in case mom asks me about the debate team.
Pops: You're writing speeches for a debate you're not a part of?
Erica: Yes, and we need to make it good.
Pops: No "we." Stop saying "we."
Erica: "Trickle-down economics is a pejorative term used by liberal-media hacks."

Quote from Erica

Pops: Uh-oh, I'm looking at some pretty shady stuff here, and I know shady.
Erica: Okay, I'm gonna let you in on a secret that's so gigantic that it could rock this family to its very core.
Pops: Maybe I shouldn't-
Erica: Here it is. I've never taught a swimming lesson in my entire life, I don't do Model U.N. or Meals on Wheels, and it feels so good to finally tell someone!
Pops: Wait, you scammed your mom? That's very risky. How has she not been at one of your swim lessons?
Erica: I specifically chose the YMCA pool 'cause she hates it. It's so humid, it makes her hair frizz. And the Model U.N. thingy? I swore I'd quit if she showed up, and she knows better than to call that bluff.

Quote from Barry

Beverly: Oh, if it were your decision, you'd go to Hawaii University.
Barry: Uh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! They have a college in Hawaii? How did they get a school on an island? Oh, my! I got to check this out! Aloha!

Quote from Barry

Barry: Check it out, Hawaii University! It's real! And he said they accept Americans!
Beverly: He's kidding. Oh, class clown. Kids love him. Sense of humor it's such a commodity in today's economy.

Quote from Barry

Barry: Mom?
Beverly: Don't mind me. Soccer tryouts are this afternoon. You need that to protect your special spot.
Barry: I know what it's for. Just leave.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Hello, Drexel. I'm Beverly Goldberg. This is Erica. I don't want to build her up too much, but she is literally the best student that ever has been or will be. Besides having a great personality, she gets good grades, does Meals on Wheels, Model U.N., and is a volunteer swim instructor at the Y.
Erica: For the love of God, stop talking! You're parading me around like a poodle, and it's embarrassing.
Beverly: Honey, I'm your mother. It is my job to strong-arm people into seeing how amazing you are.

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Well, Barry's busy, too. Um, he makes up rap songs. They call him Big Tasty. And he does karate and plays harmonica and basketball.
Betsy: Barry made Varsity?
Beverly: More like street ball. He plays in the street and in our driveway, which leads to the street.
Betsy: I'm not sure you can put that on a college resume.
Beverly: It's a gray area.

Quote from Murray

Adam: No! Temple of Doom is checked out! Some putz checked it out!
Murray: Just pick any movie. Look, Rhinestone. Rambo sings in it.
Adam: Does Rambo sing while ripping a man's heart out of his chest?
Murray: Doesn't say.

Quote from Murray

Clerk: You want to see a good film, kid, watch Bergman's The Seventh Seal or Devil's Manners that's my student film.
It's pretty much the quintessential-
Murray: No, thank you, and let's get going. Uh, we're in a big rush.
Clerk: Yeah, you have a movie out. Slap Shot. Overrated. If you ask, Paul Newman should not-
Murray: I did not ask you, and I know I returned that movie. Please check again.
Clerk: I didn't realize that my computer was Hal 9000 and it could change at will and blast us out the pod bay doors.
Murray: Nothing you say makes any sense.

Quote from Murray

Adam: Is that Slap Shot! Are you kidding me? You swore you returned it. You said you were 100% positive!
Murray: I've never been 100% positive about anything in my life.

Quote from Murray

Murray: Nope, your dad is gonna teach you a very valuable life lesson here, okay? If you never admit you're wrong, you're never wrong!

Quote from Adam

Adam: Either you take that tape back to the video store or we got real problems, man!
Murray: What are you getting at?
Adam: You know what I'm getting at!
Murray: I really have no clue.
Adam: I don't either!

Quote from Murray

Murray: Give me the movie.
Clerk: No. No! Okay, that's it. I ban you from Video Heaven.
Murray: Oh, no, no, no! I ban you! That's right! I am never coming in here again ever!
Clerk: That's what I said.
Murray: And Slap Shot is a great movie!

Quote from Beverly

Beverly: Okay, what can I do to convince you to vote for Barry? Yes, Erica is single.

Quote from Barry

Barry: I don't want to be stupid treasurer.
Beverly: Do you even know what a treasurer does? A treasurer is one of the most important jobs a school has. You get to handle all the money.
Barry: So it does involve treasure.

Quote from Beverly

Barry: Fired! You're fired as campaign manager! I have just fired you!
Beverly: You can't fire me. I'm your mother.
Barry: Then I fire you as my mother!
Beverly: If you fire me as your mother, then I have failed as a mother.

Quote from Murray

Murray: She's gone. I went in with the best intentions, but things were said, and now we're banned for life.
Adam: Whose life mine or yours?
Murray: The video-store guy wasn't clear about that.

Quote from Barry

Barry: This is for all you out there with overbearing parents with no sense of shame or boundaries! Now, I don't know how this exactly ties into being a treasurer. But I do know if I can survive the berries and the pictures of me being like this, then I'm definitely the dude to lead this school 'cause all moms suck! Who's with me?!


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